My eyes are sore from all of the blood that shot out of them this morning. Yes, you guessed it – I spent another another grueling morning sitting through a biomolecular lecture. This one was about lipid rafts in endothelia. I always manage to shrug off my total total lack of interest in lectures of required classes because, hey, they’re required. It’s just a means to an end, ya’ know? This morning I attended a one-time lecture from a guest speaker (which was totally optional, mind you). Lectures like this happen a couple times a week, and since I couldn’t care less about molecular biology (yes, I’ve come out about that) attending them is excruciating. I only attended this one because it was requested of me (I assumed that no one would be there and I was supposed to show support for the person by attending), but after I got there and sat down I realized there were over 30 people in the room. Over the last few months I forgot what it feels like to do things like this. The entire time I sat there with fire in my eyes covered with a glaze of total boredom and disinterest. On one hand, I’m so mad I’m here. The only reason is because I got rejected from dental school after I got my bachelors in biology (a subject I only chose because it looked good for dental school). I did not want to end up here (I’m now about to get a master’s in molecular biology and microbiology), and the thought of staying to get a PhD (if I’m rejected from dental school again) makes me nauseous. The whole time I sat there, I became saddened and maddened at what happened to my academic career. Things like this degrade my psyche by the minute. It’s like, every day I go to school/work and get mocked. I feel hopelessly lost when I’m presented with things I have zero interest in (and little knowledge of), while being surrounded by people who are passionate about biomolecules, and seem to wake up invigorated by the prospect of learning something new about a protein signaling pathway. I’ve been doing this for a year and a half now, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. -_-

I’ve decided that I’m kinda into posting YouTube videos on my blog these days. They lighten my life, what can I say. True, it’s doubtful these videos will be playable 20 years from now when I’m reading these super-old entries, but they’re fun to put in there anyway. I had to share this one. It needs no introduction. I guess, if I had to introduce it, I’d say something about watching a 14 year old girl strip down, which would sound awkward.

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