Archive for April, 2004

Ok, I’ll be honest with you. I don’t want to write a blog today. In fact, I don’t feel like writing another blog ever again. I always feel this way when I start writing. It’s only after I finish a blog (and read it a few months later) do I realize how much I enjoy doing this. It’s sort of like taking liquid robitussin when you have a cold. You really don’t want to do it, but you force yourself to do it knowing you’ll be glad you did later. So, with that confession out of the way, I’ll begin today’s entry. I’m not going to go into great detail today. I’m blogging on a timer, and I have to finish with enough time left over to study for a macroeconomics exam in one of my night classes on this wonderful Thursday.

What’s this about you in a library? Well, a few days ago (Monday) I had a huge amount of work to do. I left home at seven and went to a morning class that got out at nine forty-five. I had a take-home math test to complete and a huge Chemistry exam to study for before the next day (Tuesday). I called home and let my sister know I was going to stay in the library to get my work done. I hiked up the stairs and found a nice desk and unloaded my books. I always carry a CD player and headphones in my backpack just in case things like this happen. I cannot study to talking! I have to be either in compete silence, or hear only instrumental music to get any work done. Anyway, this stinking math test was a killer. My math professor is in the hospital (a serious brain tumor) so the substitute we have doesn’t know what he taught and what he hasn’t taught. For the most part, class is a joke. Then again, this is the class I always read in. Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I was re-reading the last chapter of Battle Royale in that class. I forgot that the substitute teacher could see (my normal math professor has really bad vision) and she noticed me reading. Neither one of these professors calls on the class to answer questions, but she saw me reading I guess and decided to. She asked me some question about what she did on the board and I looked up and replied the stereotypical, “hmm, I’m not sure.” She walked over to my desk and picked up the book, “what’re we reading?” Everyone in this class jokes about people reading in the class because it seems like I’m always reading, so there was ample laughing ^_^ I politely apologized and put it away. Yeah, anyway, back to this test. I didn’t know how to do a single problem on it (I hadn’t studied for it, I was planning to learn it as I did it) so I was very slow at completing it. For every problem I had to find one like it in the book and read that chapter and figure out how they did it. Needless to say, my progress was slow (but steady) and it took a long time to get this forty five question test done. I finished it about seven hours later. Yes, I ate lunch at the school. (There’s a chick filet on campus!) I decided not to study chemistry there (I was mentally exhausted) and headed home. When I got home, only my sister was there. I did my Chemistry studying later that night. Then, Tuesday morning I woke up at five so I could quickly get ready and get to school (a little before six) and study solid until my test (at eight thirty). When I got home, I was relived. The hard work for the week was over. I don’t remember when or where it happened (I might have skipped the timing) but my mom made some comment like “how was the library?” Then she gave me this look I can’t describe as anything other than ‘curious’ and asked “so who’d you meet?” “I’m sorry?” “Who did you meet? You expect me to believe you were at the library for seven hours?” I didn’t realize how it could look (in that light) so I gave a reflexive grin. Break! Tangent time. Whenever I’m uncomfortable, shocked, surprised, or don’t know what to feel, I can’t help but grinning. When my volunteer time starts at the coroners’ office I can picture myself wearing my stupid grin when they start sawing up a dead body. When something ‘unique’ is happening, it’s my look. I can’t keep from grinning. Anyway, tangent over. I was put on the spot and my mom questioned (light accused?) my “true actions” over that time. What did I do? Yeah, the big ‘ol smile grin. You know, the one that can be mistaken for that look of “I’m hiding something and won’t tell you.” It was funny to me. I have no idea what my parents think. I was in my dad’s office getting my teeth looked at yesterday (he’s a dentist) and while I was in the chair he asked me the same question… so I know they must have talked about it too. Now let me say something really quick. I’m eighteen. I find it very depressing and sad that when I say “no, I didn’t go to the movies all day with friends. I was really at the library all day” and actually mean it as the truth. So… that’s how it went down. One last thing that might be interesting is my stupid miscalculation. Tuesday night I went to my math class with my twenty pages of handwritten test work in my hand only to find out that it wasn’t due Tuesday, but Thursday. Oh, April 29′Th is a Thursday? [Insert another big grin here]

I came, I saw, I got a really good parking space! I wanted to write this paragraph for a while, and it overlaps the previous a little bit, but what the heck. I got at the college by five forty-five in the morning. Needless to say, I got a really good parking spot. ^_^ I was the third car on the lot. Anyway, I went to the library lobby really early and studied until the library opened, then I used the quiet study rooms to do the rest of my work. The quiet study room is this glassed off area of the library that’s completely silent. It’s just what I need to memorize stuff. Anyway, after that I went to chemistry class and everyone was a little tense for the test. My lab partner (I think I mentioned her twenty or so blogs ago; a girl) was casually joking with me when we got in the class. She said something like “so middle school woke up early to study huh?” (‘Middle school’ is what she calls me when she wants to get a reaction. It’s obviously derived from the fact that I sometimes look like I could be in middle school and the story about the college faculty member asking me if I got separated from my group (middle school college tour that day)). My little table of people thought it was funny, and I started to say something back when the professor looked up and (jokingly) “You know Lala, you shouldn’t be making fun of Scott about that or I’ll have to grade your test harder than his.” She looked up and replied “That’s not what you said in the office!” Everyone looked at Lala and the professor spoke for all of them, “What did I say in the office?” Lala subtly started to smile (as if suppressing a laugh) and said “When I went in before class to ask you to help me with a Chemistry question you said “Where’s that little boy?” (Referring to me) “. It’s funny, I get this everywhere I go, but I thought this was funny. The people in the class thought it was funny to. When they laughed, as you probably guessed it, I gave my infamous “I have no control over my facial expressions” grin. I just thought I’d share that story because I thought it was funny =o)

I was talking about moving to Taiwan last night. I was with my mom and casually mentioned it. Once again, I don’t remember exactly how it went down, but after I said something about going to an impoverished rejoin of this third world country to offer medical work, she stopped for a second and said “…but there might not be high-speed internet in that area.” I was not at all anticipating anyone saying something like this to me. I think I just laughed it off, but I wish I hadn’t. In my head I was thinking, “Well, that’s kind of the point.” Anyway, I decided to just let it go. I thought of some things recently that I wanted to share, so I guess now’s a good time. Since I stopped using the computer as much (only a little bit of each day is it even used) I’ve had a lot more time on my hands. I’ve been devoting most of it to my schoolwork, but some of the extra time I’m not sure what to do with. I’m not one to watch TV. I hate watching TV. There’s never anything interesting on (in the day time. At night there are some cool operations on TLC) and nothing ever gets done. I’ve actually been watching TV lately… It’s really sad, and only for a few minutes, but still, I’m mentally declining. I started thinking, “When I get older, if I stop the computer 100%, will I be one of those men who just goes to work and comes home and watches TV until it’s time to go to sleep?” The thought really scared me, but it made me think about why this is. If I don’t have something I can work on that I passionately care about, I just… do nothing. I need something that takes all of my mind and body to work on, otherwise I idle. If I have a good job and all that, while I’m there I’d be great, but what will I do when I get home? I started thinking more about the possibility of moving away to an area of the world that does not currently have access to (and needs) skilled medical doctors. The pieces all came together and I realized how perfect that’d be. If I had something so big that I would devote my life to it, then it’d be something I could work on (mentally and physically) forever, in all hours, at all times. That right there, that’s something I could totally go for. What a perfect arrangement? I’m trying not to be closed minded (though Mitchell would disagree) and I don’t want to lock myself into thinking exactly what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go when I get older, so I’m trying to keep my options open. I just… I don’t know, I thought it seemed cool. Imagine, a project you could devote your life to… and if you’re that much more passionate about it? Awesome.

Whenever the power goes out, my site goes down. Looking at professional hosting…? That’s because my website is currently being hosted on my home servers so whenever they go down, the site goes down. Summer is coming up and I live in Orlando, Florida. My city is the single city with the most lightning strikes per year in all of North America. Needless to say, my power goes out all the time in the summer. Some people jump to say, “Just by a UPS” (one of those battery backup systems). The problem with that is when the power goes out; it’s out for hours, not just a few minutes. Since I threw away all my computers (literally) and am not using intricate stuff anymore, I’m thinking that having professional hosting at a remote server might be a good idea. My site would be always up, it would be faster, it would be more stable, and it would be harder to hack. However, I don’t really feel like paying for professional hosting, so I think I’m going to have an eBay auction fund raiser! I’ll sell a few random and miscellaneous objects from around my room and raise some money that I’ll put into hosting. If I do one of these every year, I’ll be set on funding! What do you think of this? What should I sell? Does anyone know a good place to get hosting? The cheapest isn’t always the best. All I need is about a gig of space, php, and perl access, and about 10 gigs a month of transfer data. It’s a quite humble little site really. So, if anyone has ideas, let me know. Nothing will happen immediately, but summer (lightning time) is coming up, and I need to start thinking about it. Plus, remote hosting will give me an excuse to throw (give) away that line of servers (five of them!) under my other desk.
I have a big exam coming up, and I have to eat lunch then study for it. I’d best start wrapping up. I love getting your emails, so keep them coming. Also, as far as IMs go, I cannot believe people are still IMing the screen name “RTS” asking for help or trying to contact me about something. HELLO! The away message right in front of your friggin’ face tells you that I won’t get those messages. If anyone has anything worth saying, email or call me. I really do get sad when I hear of people trying to IM that screen name, and I really do get tired when they get mad I don’t read them. Get a life people. If it’s important, email me, I’ll respond in an hour! Jeez. Ok, I’m heated about this, can you tell? People are STILL ticking me off. I’ll be happy once I give up computers 100% (ultimate plan, not sure how far away it is). Oh yeah! One more thing… If I get professional hosting, I won’t have to worry about maintaining open bandwidth on my own network. I can open up my file server and let people download these rare movies that are so good! I’m trying to get a little ring of people to help out with it. I think it’ll be really cool. There are so many awesome movies that few people in America see. I hope it’ll work out. Ok, I’m outta here. Have a good one! –Scott

Good evening! A lot has been happening lately, and I haven’t been able to pull myself around to writing about it. Then again, I’m somewhat frustrated (defeated?) because the only way to add to this blog (my poorly documented brain dump) is to sit down at my computer. I’d much rather write it by hand on paper, but my writing is not fun to read and there is no spell check on paper. Someone has mentioned the possibility of me getting a handheld device. I don’t think that these are practical for my life though. I don’t have any real need or even a use for one (to my knowledge). If I ever were to get something like that, it’d have to have one of those expandable keyboards so I can set up anywhere and start typing. However, to the day it still seems impractical. Anyway, I’ve got a great blog planned for tonight. I have gotten a lot of complaints about my previous (three) blogs being dry and boring. Well, that’s what you get for trying to write nicely I guess. I came to the obvious (but previously unrealized) conclusion that people don’t read this because they want to learn, they read it for pure entertainment. Tonight I’m going to talk about my trip out, some new software I wrote, some fan mail, and even talk a little bit about a book I’m writing! You won’t want to miss it, so grab a refreshing beverage and enjoy the blog.

I got the nicest email yesterday from a young woman who reads my blogs. I love reading personal emails from my blog readers about the subjects I write about. User feedback is really cool to me for some reason, and I appreciate it. Yes, I get a lot of negative emails, but the positive emails I get (though one tenth as many) make it all worth it. I talked to the girl about it for a while and she said she’s ok with me writing about it, so I guess I’ll spill out the story. The girl I’m talking about is a Michigan-born girl named Kanya. Yes, it’s a Thai name. For the record, I love that name. Anyway, she found my website on google when she searched for ways to hack a screen name whose password she lost. She saw the pictures on my blog and red a few lines, then a few paragraphs… before she knew it (and I quote), “I would wake up a little earlier every morning to see if you had posted while I slept.” She went on to describe her very cozy and loving family situation and how she loved to read and write stories based upon reality. She would go to school and during lunch she would go to the library and use the computers there with two of her friends and go to my site and let them read it. Between the three of them, I’m sure the played me up as some fantastic and incredible guy. My writings are definitely not accurate reflections of myself, I’ll tell you that right now. But nonetheless, I was a conversation piece between the girls but they swore to each other not to contact me unless they were all together. Well, they decided they didn’t want to do that after all, so they spun a pencil on the floor and whoever it pointed to was the girl that could contact me first. She briefly described her “rather wait than date” situation and said that if I lived near her she’d have to fight the urge to call me every day. Now, I will admit, I’ve gotten the “I wish you lived near me” emails a ton in the past, but it wasn’t quite like this. The thing that made this one really, really cool was the cause and reasoning behind it. But, as we both know, it’s one of those things that’d never happen, so my blogs will have to suffice. I will admit though, when I read the email, I did feel a lot of… not sadness, but I really felt like I connected and related with the viewpoint this girl was coming from. She spilled practically her whole life story, and the email was practically a short novel. I’m not going to quote and other sections of the email because it’d be a little weird, but I will say it was literally the nicest email I have ever received, and I really appreciate and thank her for it. So, for what it’s worth, “Thank you so much for the email” ^_^

Scott has a new screen name? Recently, I stopped IMing people for 30 days because they got so annoying. I started allowing a few IMs, but quickly got sickened by the intentions of these people. I seem little more than “google” to them (a place to go to and ask stupid questions!) Anyway, I decided a new screen name would have to do. The screen name I chose was KLP because it’s another three letter screen name (that I ‘acquired’ with the venomcrack software I wrote) and should be easy to remember. Just picture someone being stabbed by a burglar and trying to hold them off with their left hand while trying to call for help but only being able to type “klp!” before they’re dragged from their computer. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes! I wrote a robot in Python to run on my web server that signs on my public screen name (RTS) and shows away messages that I specify. It also logs all incoming IMs to a file so I can check them if I need to. I’ll upload the script if I feel like it. Anyway, I called the program the Automatically Ignore Scott’s Instant Messages, or AisIM for short. However, no one has caught this yet, so I have to say the true reason for the name. Aisim is Misia spelled backwards. Clever, isn’t it? You’ll notice that on the contact page there’s a new link where you can contact me on my private screen name. However, for this, you will have to undergo a screening process. You’ll be required to answer some questions and write two essays to apply. Then, after that information is sent to me, I look all my incoming requests and decide who can get through and who is rejected. I accepted a total of eleven people in the last day (out of about one hundred applicants). Don’t be offended if you were rejected! I’m just trying to limit down the people who I speak with in real time. I will always listen to and respond to personal emails, so you’re by no means separated from me. Well I think that’s about it here, let’s move on.

I went to Sea World with my sister and her friend yesterday morning (Saturday). I’m not entirely sure why I went, but I had nothing else planned (pfft, do I ever?) so I was like “ok why not.” We left at 8am and went to dunkin doughnuts (is that how you spell it?(incorrectly?)) before driving to the park. We went to the park and got in fairly early (just after nine) so there weren’t many people there. We went to the new roller coaster there (Kraken) and rode it five times. There was almost no line, so we were always able to just walk right onto the next coaster. The first time we rode it we waited a few extra rotations to sit in the front row. I love the wind you get in your face when you sit in the front, but the whiplash effects from sitting in the back are equally fun. Anyway, it was quite enjoyable (surprisingly?). After that we went to some various other areas of the park and I suddenly realized how educational this place really is to small children. “Mommy, look at that cute little penguin pooping!” “Mommy, is that a boy shark?” “Mommy, what are those seals doing?” I think I’ll clarify something here. I’m quoting an anonymous (and fictional, to be honest) four year old girl beside us in the areas of the park. Only three people went (my sister, her friend, and myself) so it’s not literally meaning “mommy”. I went on that simulator ride “Wild Arctic”. When I was young (8ish) I used to go on that ride by myself (my mom gets motion sickness) and thought it was the coolest thing ever! I went on it again for the first time in ten years and it seemed small, cramped, dinky, rushed, poorly created, loud, and just… dull. I guess that sort of thing happens when you grow up though. It was funny though. If you had asked me at twelve (my most memorable age, I really thought a lot about life and stuff then) what I’d be doing at eighteen, I’d have probably said something along the lines of taking a girlfriend to sea world on a Saturday morning. I thought it was funny that I was taking my sister and her friend (for lack of a better reason than pure boredom (longing?)) to sea world instead. Actually, while I’m here, let me get something out really quick. I have a few peeves that really irritate me when I see other people do them. One of these is I hate it when guys make their dates pay for things. It’s just common courtesy to pay for your girl’s movie, dinner, shopping, and other stuff like that she buys when she’s with you. For some reason, I get so embarrassed when I’m with Kelly (and/or her friends) and it’s time to pay for things. I reflexively pay for their stuff because “they might think I’m not paying for my dates!” I know it sounds stupid, but it’s like… one of those little things you can never shake off completely. I’m usually like “just pay me back later” (which half the time doesn’t happen anyway). I never really talked about it, but today at lunch Kelly (my sister) threw out some comment like “yeah he’s getting low on cash now because he always pays for [girl] and I’s movie tickets!” For the record, I never make withdraws from my bank accounts, I can usually completely live off of Christmas and birthday money! Anyway, so, yeah. What do you think about that? Comments or personal emails on the subject might be useful, feel free to contribute.

I guess I’ll go on and tell you a little about this story I’m thinking of writing. Here’s the problem. This story… it will be long. I could easily type it into the length of a book, but I think since it will be distributed via the internet I’ll keep it down to a mini-novel length. However, things like this take a long time to write! If I decide to go through with it, I will need to take a little time away from my blog and some other things and really focus on getting this done. Quite a few of you have asked me, “Scott, why don’t you write a book?” It’s nothing new. I have literally been getting this question in my inbox from the very day this stupid blog débuted. All right, I know you’re begging me to tell you what the book is about. However, that’s just the thing. If I even hint at the subject matter, it will completely ruin the book! The way I’m going to write most of the book will be from a psychologically interpreted first person (quasi-monologue) point of view, with some narration and third person perspectives near the end. I’m going to give the story in the Asian style of storytelling by time. I will skip around a little bit in time, forward and back. So, at the top of each chapter when I write the date and the time, you have to pay attention to it or you’ll get confused! To make it easier, I’ll make a graphic timeline so you can see where you’re jumping in time. This story is going to be one of those stories that are built in your mind. I’m not going to hand it to you on a platter and say “take it”. I’m going to write about little things that happen and the story will be derived and built through the little details. I can’t describe it. You’ll have to read it. I don’t want to say the book is a romantic drama, but I can’t really put it in any other category. As you read it, you’ll have no clue where it’s going. The twists and turns I’ve planned will make it interesting all the way through. You’ll keep reading little things that you didn’t expect and it adds to this overall sense of irony and story and at the end, it’ll make you exhale and look at a wall blankly for a few minutes. I am not sure when I can start writing it, but I do know two things. I have come up with a title, and I have found a “cover image”. Yeah, it’ll never be published or anything, but it still has to have an image associated with it. Once again, the image adds mystery to it, and does not technically reflect the plot as you’ll read it. When I try to describe it, it sounds really cheesy, but I guess that’s ok. Anyone who reads it will understand what it is I can’t say, and they’ll understand what it is that made me want to write it so much. Ok, on second thought, I think I can say something. I’ll sum it up simply like this. Don’t think you know what I’m talking about, and don’t breathe more into this than there really is. The title is inspired by Studio Ghibli’s “Whisper of the Heart” film made a few years ago. This story I’m planning to call “Whisper of the Mind”, and I think it’ll look stupid to anyone who glances at it, but turn out to be really fun and enjoyable for anyone who reads it. I haven’t planned on names for anyone yet, except for the girl; the curious side-focus of the story: “Misia”. Interested now? Yeah, I knew that’d do it. Does this book deal with imaginary women? Maybe. Could I just be throwing you for a loop? Definitely ^_-

Welcome back. If you have yet to read the first two installments of this multipart blog, I suggest you do so. This is the third and final piece of the writing curiously entitled “decent post”. Today I will try to make use of a slightly more professional style of writing in the hope that this entry will be more enjoyable for a larger range of people. So, with no further adieu I will proceed to my first topic.

I finally obtained some more information about the girl I mentioned in my last blog. In case you haven’t read (or are too lazy to read) my last blog, I met a girl in China who spoke no English but seemed really nice. She gave me her address. She also gave me a pen and a small piece of paper and motioned for me to write mine, but being the complete idiot that I am I wrote down an email address. Where we were, there weren’t any cyber cafés and I’m sure that family didn’t own a computer. They probably didn’t even know what an email address was. I’d like to see the postman’s look in the mail room when he picks up an envelope with knight hacker on the “to” line. Anyway, when I was home I found a friend who was able to read Chinese and had him help me address the envelope. In it, I mailed her our picture (we took a picture together) and wrote up an incredibly quick note in a card. It said no more than three sentences; don’t you find that cold? I don’t know what I was thinking (a curious pattern when dealing with this person). I heard nothing for a few months until I got a letter back from China, however it was a familiar letter; it was my letter. It was returned for some reason. The girl never even saw it. I was just about to sit down and write a nice letter to this curious person on the other side of the world, when I realized I had since met another person who reads Chinese very well. I showed Jeff the envelope with the postage information on it to see if he could figure what went wrong. He pointed to two little Chinese characters I hadn’t specifically noticed and he said “there’s your problem.” “That’s nice”, I said, “but I can’t read Chinese. What does it mean?” He handed me the letter and said “moved”, and that was that. How sad… I guess this person will never get her picture. I wonder what she would have done had she gotten it anyway? I stayed in that city for eight days and didn’t see another Caucasian person. My guess is she’d waive it around for a few days to show her friends that she was standing beside an American teenager. At any rate, she’ll never get it, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I guess I’d better just let it go. I can’t seem to pull myself to throwing the letter and picture away though, so I guess I’ll put it back in one of the stacks of papers in my closet to be uncovered again in a few years. Check back then and I’ll probably write another blog about it ^_-

Asian double upper eyelid blepharoplasty; finally I have the time to write about this much awaited and highly controversial topic! First off, I’d like to say something to all of the Asian readers of this blog (a surprisingly large chunk of my core readers). I’m trying to write this to the best of my ability to be simple, logical, and fair, balancing political correctness with pure facts. I doubt that anybody would be seriously offended by what I’m about to write, but if you feel I have written something that I should remove, please contact me in a personal email and tell me what you think. Now that you understand that, on with the blog. Blepharoplasty is the (usually purely comedic) surgical procedure (done by a plastic surgeon) to change the appearance of the eyelids. A few days ago, I was flipping through the channels on TV (Yes, I’ve started watching TV now that I threw away 90% of my computers) and I came across a show where there was a doctor drawing (with a pen) on an Asian girl’s eyelids. I say ‘girl’ because she must have been in her early twenties. I watched in curiosity what was happening and I came to find out that she had chosen to undergo a form of blepharoplasty to add an artificial crease in her non-folding Asian (Korean) eyelid. As soon as I realized what was happening, I was glued to the TV. The subject, this action, the reason, the thoughts… I was wrapped up in trying to “figure out” this process. In a nutshell, the doctor put shots of anesthetic in her eyes (I’m fine with needles, but not in eyes!) then sliced a semicircle out of the top of her eyelid and did a little bit of muscle work and stitched it up. The end result was that the Asian girl had a gentle crease in the top of her eyelids. When she blinked though, you could see the crease move down with her eyelid. I skipped a part though. Between “the surgery” and “the end” is “the recovery”. For a few weeks while the surgery heals, you have stitches sticking out of your eyelids! So, I ran with my obsessive personality and decided to do a little research on the subject. I wanted to know how popular this was, I wanted to know who did this, and I wanted to know why!

I searched for more information about the subject and uncovered a lot of really interesting information. Asian double eyelid blepharoplasty is really popular in America, but it’s also popular in Asian countries like China, Korea, and Japan. In America, double eyelid blepharoplasty costs about five hundred dollars per eye. In other Asian countries the cost is a lot cheaper, but there is a tremendous amount of risk because of the lack of strong medical regulations or legal systems. If you’re going to have the surgery, you’d be a lot safer getting it done in the US. There are still risks to this surgery however. Some of the lighter side effects may include random bleeding or cracking of the eyelids, while the heavier problems might result in discolored eyelids, eyelids that hang low or eyelids that are permanently stuck open! Between the shots in the eyes, the stitches in the sockets and the possibility of looking like eye-gore on Young Frankenstein, I couldn’t figure out why so many people want to go through with this!

Why would anyone want to have someone take a knife to their eyelids? I did some research into the motivations and reasoning that come together to make a young woman want to do such an intricate surgery for something so small. From my research I found that many of the Asians posting on the forums think the epicanthic eyelid (practically a trademark for being of Asian descent) is considered inferior to the Caucasian eye fold by Americans. From reading countless forums devoted to the subject, I was surprised to see so many Asians dissatisfied with their noses (too flat), their chins (not prominent enough), or their calves (referred to as “daikon-ashi”, meaning radish-shaped in Japanese). The overwhelmingly common notion was one of “I’m not doing it to make myself look special; I’m doing it to fit in.” In this day, the American image is the definition of beauty throughout the world, glorified in movies, magazines, advertisements everywhere you look! Large blue eyes, blond hair, tall, thin, and “filled out” women of the Caucasian race is the global image of beauty; an image to be aspired to, envious of, and forever striving for but never being able to reach. Obviously, no one wants to be singled out because of a physical feature that makes them juristically different from the people they’re around. I found a blog written by a nineteen year old Asian girl that said she decided to have the surgery because she was “…tired of having people ask me if I was angry or tired”. Different people may have different reasons for undergoing the surgery, but ultimately it’s all for the same reason: to change the way they look compared to other people.

Now here’s the part where I insert my personal thoughts on the subject of blepharoplasty. It’s clear that the advances of modern technology can change the way people look. Today more than ever people are taking advantage of the latest medical procedures to make themselves appear different. America is a land of many cultures, each having its own distinctions and specific physical features that set it apart from the rest. The staple image of beauty in America is an object that is idolized by so many people. However, I personally don’t believe that this single image is beauty. Beauty is so much more than the color of someone’s hair, the height a person stands, or the shape of their eyes. Each person has the potential in themselves to be beautiful through the way they care for themselves, care for others, and the mannerisms and attitudes they carry wherever they go! I know what I’m trying to say, but I can’t seem to get it out in words. Some people think that to be beautiful and get noticed, you have to look act the same as someone else. I say that to be beautiful you have to look and act unique! Yes, it’s the individual features of a person that are different that set them apart from everybody else. It is these unique features that make someone look different. It is these features that make that person special, and it is within these features that beauty lies! As far as the subject of Asian eyelid modification goes, I would personally lean away from it. Asian eyes (in my opinion which is most definitely shared by others) are some of the coolest and most beautiful eyes of any race. Speaking as a guy; if an Asian woman has eyes that aren’t the same as “everybody else”, then oh how much more special of a person and how much more of a unique and beautiful of a woman she is for it! The characteristics that set you apart from other women shouldn’t be hidden, they should be embraced! Now, I’ll also make this clear. If someone is obsessively self-conscious about a part of their body that they don’t like and it’s a true concern and they choose to have surgery (or go through some other means) to obtain what they want, then that’s perfectly fine with me. It’s their choice, and there’s no reason to think badly of them for it. However, if wavering in indecision, I don’t see a strong reason to do it. One thing that I was abhorred to read was that a large amount of the Asian women that were choosing to do undergo the surgery didn’t want to but were doing it because their boyfriends wanted them to look more American. Seeing people write about this over and made my chest ache. It’s just, it seems wrong, in so many ways! If a girl is in a relationship with a guy who tells her she’s ugly, she needs to leave him in the dust! What a horrible thing to say, and what an awful thing to try to convey. All it says is that the guy doesn’t like the girl… To then see these girls go through so much and erase the very thing that makes them special because of what some guy said is distressing, upsetting, and heartbreaking. If it’s a firm choice made in the mind of a girl, I say to her “Go for it!” If it’s a firm choice made in the mind of a girl’s boyfriend, I say “Leave him!” If it’s the decision in a girl’s mind to take what God has given her that makes her special and be proud of it, I say “You’re beautiful.”

P.S. If you’re single and that last sentence applies to you, click the contact link in the menu ^_-

Welcome back! As you may have noticed, last night’s blog was cut off right when it started getting good. That’s because I had planned to write it in a few installments. This is volume two of the decent post. Hence, the title! I’m writing this a little before noon on the weekend so I feel good and full of vigor. I’m ready to get my hands dirty and attack today’s blog with all I’ve got. So, wasting no time, I will proceed.

Yesterday I went to a movie by myself. In yesterday’s blog, I talked a little bit about this. I went to the ticket counter to buy a student’s ticket to Kill Bill volume 2. The lady asked to see my ID. Being an eighteen year old guy who looks twelve, I know I’ll be getting this for a long time. My wallet is a tri-fold style wallet with a center flap that flips out revealing a clear pocket where you insert a license so you can see it through the pocket. I flipped out my wallet and stuck it on the glass so she could read it. She looked at it closely, then looked at me, then said “Can you take it out of the clear covering please.” I was a little surprised. Do these people think it’s fake? At any rate, the lady finally let my by the stupid ticket, and I walked in the lobby area and waited for the guy to take my ticket. He took my ticket, looked at it, and said “Theater 20 is down the hall on the ri-… how old are you?” I was caught off guard a little bit and looked at him for a second while his question processed in my mind. I paused for a second and then muttered “eigh-teen.” He gave me a curious look and asked me for ID again. I never had the ticket taker person ask for ID before. Anyway, he looked at it and then was like “you don’t look eighteen man” and I laughed a little and replied, “yeah, I get it a lot.” As I walked away I thought, “you know, this is just one of those things to blog about.” As far as the movie went, I actually enjoyed it. Kill Bill (as a whole, 1 and 2) isn’t a really incredible film my any means, but they did try something new in America. They used mostly Asian cinematography techniques in creating this visual story. The plot, like many Chinese movies, had deeply nested tangents and side stories that build up to the ultimate plot at the end. The camera angles reflected a lot of Japanese and Korean cinematography with combinations of near and far objects in view at the same time and incredibly long non-sweeping camera scenes where the object of focus was off to one side or the other. Several times during the movie, the screen split so you could see two things at the same time. Also, at times of high suspense, the screen narrowed from a letterbox shape to a square shape. This effect is done to create the tunnel vision feeling so your eyes stay in one spot and you mentally get more into the story. To mask some of the violence and make it acceptable in America, a lot of the fight scenes were shown in grayscale. In the first volume, a small chunk of the film was animated. One part that I really, really enjoyed was one scene in volume two where the screen went completely black and all you heard was breathing. That doesn’t sound real good. I’ll explain. If you’re planning to see the movie, skip the rest of this paragraph. Now, the scene I’m talking about is where the main girl of the movie is tied up and placed in a wooden box at night time. The camera is placed inside the coffin-like box too giving the viewers a feeling of claustrophobia. Around the edges of the box, you can see light seeping in illuminating the scene. However, as the edges are nailed down one by one, the amount of light decreases. As soon as the last nail is hammered in, the screen goes completely black. The screen stayed completely black for what felt like five minutes (though I think it was more like one) and all you heard were the sounds of the box being dragged, dropped, and buried. It was really cool ^_^ A few other Asian cinematography qualities that you might notice is the strange use of music. Music is often quiet or loud, rarely in the middle. Music will follow right up to a fight scene, but stop as soon as the first shot is fired or sword is clashed. Much of the fighting is done without music, so all you hear are the gory sounds. Then, after a minute of no music, music suddenly starts playing… but it’s not the music you’d expect. It’s something strange, like odd electronic sounds or fifty’s big band sounding music. The long absence of music reminded me of lots of the Japanese movies I’ve seen over the years. For some reason I kept on thinking of “Ring” (the movie that America copied a few years after it came out by making an identical film and calling it “The Ring”) Now, once again, I don’t think the movie was really good or anything special, but it sure was fun to see an American film try to mimic the qualities of the Asian films that I have watched for so long. So, if you’re bored and want to see something a little different for once, you might be interested in it. Volume 1 is available on DVD, so watch it first before you see volume 2. Well, it looks like it’s about time to change the subject. Now, to decide what to write about…

I’m thinking of installing some halfway decent lighting in my room. I have a fan in the center of my ceiling with one of the stereotypical bulb lams hanging down from it. I never turn it on, because it’s too bright, too dark, or simply annoying because of the color or flicker. I haven’t written about this lately, but my eyes are really sensitive to certain types of light. I feel like an idiot talking about it, but it’s true. Light bulbs, by their very nature, flicker. A standard yellow light bulb flickers at about sixty to seventy times a second. It’s too fast to really notice by looking at it, but if there is a single yellow bulb illuminating a room I’m in, the back of my head starts hurting. If I don’t get out soon, it’ll turn into one of those long lasting migraine headaches that render me helpless for the rest of the day (and sometimes the next). Some people say “Why don’t you just put incandescent lighting in your room?” but that flickers at an even lower rate! I don’t mind the yellow tint, it’s the flicker that does it to me. Monitors also can be a big problem. If I look at a monitor with a refresh rate (flashes per second) less than 70hz, I get a really bad headache in seconds. If I use a monitor for a long time that’s less than 85hz it’s really uncomfortable. Always, on all my monitors, I have a refresh rate of 85hz or higher. For people who don’t know what the feeling I’m talking to is like, picture sitting a foot away from a strobe light and staring right into it as it’s flashing. Pretty bad, huh? Oh yeah, strobe lights; those will stop me in my tracks! I guess I won’t be able to stay for a long time at those wild parties. Anyway, I leave my blinds open to let in light all day but at night it gets really dark in my room and since I do so much reading and homework I thought it’d be nice to have it well lit. I’m thinking of installing some track lights on the two sides of my room. You know, they’re the really small lights that are in groups of five or six that slide in a small track on the ceiling. Lots of smaller businesses have them like coffee shops and small stores. I think that having multiple lights will alleviate the severity of the flashing form each individual bulb. I thought it was a pretty good idea, and having them shine on my walls providing some nice indirect lighting would make a really nice looking room. They aren’t that expensive, and they’re pretty easy to install. I’ve climbed through my attic to above my room, and I know it’d be pretty easy to do. I think I mentioned it around my parents at a bad time. My mom thought it was a good idea, but my dad went on one of his episodes and indefinitely forbade me from doing anything of the sort ever. I had seen this before, when I talked about fixing the air conditioning to my room. It gets so hot in here and my air vent is broken. At my comment about fixing it, he reached critical mass and had a melt down. It all was a good thought, but I guess it’ll never be more than that. I’m starting to get bolder though. I, for a long time, have been more or less completely and quietly (on the surface) submissive in doing anything my parents say. I figure that rather than put up a stink about anything, I have a better chance of getting it if I stay quiet about it for a week and bring it back up later. I might just buy the stupid lights and then install them. If one of my parents has a problem with it, I guess I could always just take it down. I don’t know. I’m an idiot.

I heard someone in my class the other day stand up and say that he thought it was the government’s fault for what happened to the world trade centers. I find it amazing and absolutely incredible (laterally) that anyone could possible believe this. However, it’s shocking how many people really do think this is the case. They blame Bush for not preparing for the attack. In one of the president’s daily memos a while before the attack, it mentioned that some foreign terrorist organization’s operatives were living in the US and planning to use an airplane in their terrorism. So far, people thought that this meant a hijacking on the ground. It was beyond the scope of any government official to imagine what actually happened. Anyway, some of the radical left wing democrats condemn bush for not taking action and racially profiling all Middle Eastern men, women, and children and denying them access onboard American airplanes. I heard this straight from the mouth of a democrat on the radio the other day. I could not even believe what I was hearing! Could you even imagine what would have happened if Bush actually did that? The liberal democrats that are condemning him for not racially profiling would have completely clobbered him for the very thing they say he should have done! How do you think they would react to the president if he, say, didn’t let any black people aboard an airplane? Could you even imagine the consequences? Time and time again, the members of the terrorist groups have proven that they have enormous amounts of patients and are not fazed by delays. They would have simply waited-out the profiling period and then done the same thing once they let them back on the plane. It’s just… amazing. I can’t believe people stand there and actually think something like that could have been prevented with the information we had. Comments on this topic are welcome.

A few years ago, when I was in China, I met a lot of people. Many of the people that owned customer confrontational businesses knew English, but most of the people on the streets did not. Being an American with blond hair, I got quite a lot of attention over there. In Guangzhou where I stayed the second half of the trip, it was a larger city, so people say Caucasian people a lot more. However, in some of the areas in Kunming where I went, I certainly drew some eyes. Lots of people wanted to take pictures by me and my family, which I thought was pretty interesting. I have a picture of myself with one girl, and on a piece of paper she wrote something to me in Chinese. It was cool to watch her write, because she wrote it so fast. Once I got home, I showed it to a friend of mine who could read the language and he told me it was an address and how to label the card. After I developed the film and go the picture, I decided it’d be nice to send it to her, since it was probably why she wrote the address on the piece of paper on the first place (be nice guys). Anyway, I wrote a quick letter and sent it. I completely forgot about the letter until six months later when I got it back in the mail. Evidentially, it never reached her, though I’m not sure why. However, lately, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I still have the original piece of paper she wrote her address on. I know someone else who can read Chinese who might be able to help me label the envelope better. Naturally, with all this waiting, I thought a lot about the things I could say. Wouldn’t it be cool (in a weird kind of way) to write on 20 double sided pages describing my life story and all sorts of random information that she might find interesting living in China? A lot of the people over there are stuck and somewhat helpless. The girl in the picture seems nice, but it’s strange to look at her and think of her as a little commie. (Political correct whackos can kiss my gluteus maximus.) What if I were to be so bold as to ask her if she wanted to visit the US for a few weeks? Given the fact that the only real way she could leave her country is if she married an American traveler (wealthy simply by living in the US), she might jump at the opportunity to spend some time in the US to see what it’s like. I don’t know, I know nothing about Asian culture, I can’t imagine what she’d think. Plus, she’d be really hard to communicate with. The people in that area did not speak Mandarin or Cantonese; rather they spoke an offset dialect that was impossible to interpret by anyone who did not live in that area. That’s the problem with Chinese in such a large country; there are so many different dialects. My friend living in China said that people from different areas can’t understand each other’s accented dialects, so they usually end up talking in English XD. Anyway, I have so many possibilities. Also, I think the next time I try to send her the picture (with a letter of whatever sort I decide) I won’t include a return address. I think it’d be a happier feeling just pretending it got there, instead of getting it back every six months. I just looked in my folders and I found the picture of her. She wasn’t at all what I remembered her as (I don’t know what I was picturing). Earlier I said she looked nice. She doesn’t look nice, she looks mean! She looks like she’s going to beat me up! Huh, I guess I’ll post the picture. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of criticism from it, but I think it’ll be interesting to see what happens. Also, note the look on my face. Does it seem familiar? Yep, that’s the little icon sized picture that I sent in that was used on the winning article I wrote for no-ip.com that won my free domain name! For more information about that, check out my about page. By the way, I know someone’s going to say it, so I’ll have to beat them to it. “Hey Scott, it looks like you found someone your height.”

Well, it finally happened. I actually told someone in one of my classes about my little idea about moving away and all that. As we were walking together from the professor’s office (where we both went to get an extra practice worksheet, being the diligent students we are) to the parking lot, I told her I was planning to go to medical school and then I might move permanently to a third world country somewhere in Eastern Asia. It was funny; she instantly said “You’re going to have a hard time finding a girl that’d want to make the move to such a place.” “Yeah, I know”, I said softly as I walked in thought, “I was thinking I might actually get married over there.” She slowed down her walking and looked at me with her head tilted a little to the right in a positive sense of surprise or admiration (I wish I could think of more accurate words to use). She then broke in with “got a taste for Asian women Scott?” to which I chuckled and said “I don’t know. It’s a long way off. Hey, this is where I’m parked, see ya’ Thursday!” Now I know a lot of you are thinking “That Scott-freak is making this up”, but actually, I’m not. It’s true. The dialogue isn’t exact (I can’t remember the words used) but it was practically identical to how I described it. I don’t know why I chose to talk about it, but I thought it was a little interesting. What did she mean by a taste for Asian women? I don’t think ethnicity should or would be a factor on picking a girlfriend or wife. I wouldn’t target someone just because of their race; likewise I wouldn’t reject someone because of it either. I’ve already spoken these words before, so I’ll go on and continue with the final subject of the day.

You all know how I am about my movies and music. If someone shows any interest in it (in person) then I hop to it and try to give them some of it. The music I listen to is rare and the movies I watch are hard to get in America. Well, one of my friends wanted to check out some of these movies I’m always talking about. I gave him (on his computer) My Sassy Girl, Lovers’ Concerto, and Infernal Affairs (covering all areas: drama, romance, and suspense/action). A few weeks later he finally told me “Scott, I watched My Sassy Girl, but I think you overestimate me.” “Why’s that?” I questioned in puzzlement. “I can’t understand Japanese”, he said. I paused for a second and asked “What movie did you watch?” He said he watched My Sassy Girl. I said “That’s in Korean”. “Oh…” he said quietly. It was then that I had to suppress my laughter once I finally realized what was wrong. I tried to keep the laughing to a minimum when I gagged out, “Jon, did it have subtitles?” “uhh, no”. The poor guy! He sat down and watched a two hour movie without realizing that there were subtitles. His video player was not correctly configured and the subtitles didn’t show up. He told me he thought the plot was about a girl who tried to commit suicide and a perverted guy who followed her around and how she was mean to him and how she broke up with her old boyfriend. It was so funny; the plot is completely different without subtitles I guess. I just…I was amazed. Now that my friends, that’s some dedication right there!

Well, I have some schoolwork to do. I’m sure you do too! Why not take the next half hour to get something done that you don’t want to. The next thirty minutes of your life will be sponsored by Scott is hot dot com incorporated. I’ll try to crank out another blog soon, but I have a lot of school coming up. I’ll see what I can do. All right, keep the emails flowing! It’s nice to hear from you all. Have a good one! –Scott

Tonight I’d like to start off by saying I’m sorry for not writing earlier. I just didn’t feel like it. Now, with that said, I’ll continue. However, I keep getting distracted! I can’t seem to force myself to actually sit down and write this article. I have a great blog for you all tonight. It deals with the sensitive and somewhat controversial subject of Asian blepharoplasty! (more on this later) I’ve watched my proverbial “to blog about” list grow over the last few days. I now have /counts/ 38 subjects to write about. I won’t even begin to try to hit them all tonight, but I think I’ll be able to get a big chunk out of some of the more interesting ones completed. I hope that you’re having a good day wherever you are. Welcome to my Saturday night blog! I hope you enjoy it.

First off, something I had forgotten to blog about weeks ago happened on a Monday night in my world literature class. I feel stupid because I can’t remember any of the names of the people that were involved in this story, so I’ll just refer to them as “the girl” and “the guy”. I got to class early because I wanted to get some studying time in. I usually get there 45 minutes early and obviously I’m the only one there. I’d go to the library, but it’s too far away from the building I take my lit class in. Anyway, about twenty minutes before class started a guy walked in. He was a mid twenties guy who seemed pretty nice. The week prior, we killed some time and he, a girl, and myself waited in the library between classes. He seemed to like talking to the girl, and the girl seemed like she enjoyed talking to him. This girl is the one that always sits in the front right of the class room. I remember her mentioning that her birthday was on April 4′th. Anyway, back to the story, the guy walked in the class carrying his backpack and a large paper Publix bag that he held sideways. I said the stereotypical “hey, how’re you” introduction, then I looked back at my book pretending to study some more. However, I watched him. He seemed nervous for some reason, it was a little curious. He put his book bag on his chair and carried the Publix bag in his arms as he slowly walked across the room. He set it down on the desk in the front right of the class and went back to his backpack. From his backpack he pulled out a card and walked it over by the bag. He set the card down and unfolded the paper bag and slowly pulled out an aluminum foil and plastic container. Once he backed away, I could see what it was, and instantly all these strange thoughts of shock, surprise, admiration, and gwabs filled my mind. (gwabs is my ever so popular “gotta write about this” thought). It was a large white cake with icing flowers on it “Happy Birthday” written on the top. He quickly threw the bag away and went back to his seat. He glanced at me, and I returned the glance. Our eyes met and I couldn’t help but simply say “wow, that’s awesome man.” “Do you think she’ll like it?” “I’m sure she will.”, I said instinctively. Then my mind flashed back, how well does this guy know this girl? Last week when they talked they seemed like near strangers. I doubt they met since then. Is he just being nice to a girl who’s almost a complete stranger? I had to hand it to this guy, I can’t put it in words, but I was incredibly impressed. Later on, the girl walks in and sets her backpack down and stares at the cake. Her expression showed that she was reluctant to think of it as her own (maybe it’s someone else’s birthday?) but she looked at the card and smiled and said “Oh Brad that was so nice!” to herself. By the way, I can’t remember the name, so for tonight, it’s Brad. She put the card down and started walking to Brad who was sitting in the corner of the room by the door. She grinned as she walked. She started walking faster to Brad. I saw him clench his fists a little bit trying to act ‘cool’. She got a few feet away from bad and turned and pushed the door open and started walking out. To make a long story short (too late) she saw the card was signed “Brad” and thought it was her other friend “Brad” who left the cake for her. Now, I don’t know about you, but I think that was the ultimate slap in the face to the poor guy sitting in the corner. It ended well though, she apologized multiple times, and she even shared the cake with all of the class including the teacher. (It shows you how few people there are in this three hour world literature night class!) I still can’t get over what he did though! I don’t think he knew her very well at all. What a nice guy buying a cake for a girl like that! Jealous? Possibly. I doubt I’d ever have the courage to do something bold like that. Then again, who knows what I would do if I were overcome with cloudyheadedness (aka: love). He was happy, she was happy, and I got cake. I’d say it was a good ending.

Next, I have been getting a ton of questions about my missing computers, medical profession possibility, and details about when and where I would travel to. I gave away all my computers. I did not sell them. I only have one computer left now, and it’s a laptop. Unfortunately, it’s almost completely broken, but it barely works right now (sprawled out in pieces on my desk all hooked together and seeming to run decently, far from mobile though) and it’s what I’ve been using. Someone said something absurd like “Scott you surely change your website a lot for someone who isn’t using any computers.” I’ve got a computer dude. Also, I’ve been getting a lot of “Scott, I can give/sell you computer parts!” or “Scott, why don’t you have a fund raiser for a new computer?” Both types of comments can be answered by the fact that money is no issue with me. I’ve been working at my job for a long time and spend almost none of the money at all. I save most of my money for the future and I save most of my “spending money” too. The result is an incredibly large amassed amount of blowable cash to use on anything I want spontaneously. In other words, if I really wanted a nice laptop or pc or five flat screen monitors, I’d just buy them. But, for whatever reason, I’m choosing not to purchase these items. Choosing, in this particular instance, is the wrong word. I think it could better be described if written in such a way as I’m “constantly fighting the urge”. Also, here’s what my current college plan is. I have a few options, but this is my most probable course of action. Right now I’m in high school a little more than half way to an AA degree just by the credits I’ve gained through dual enrollment at a local college. I might stay at my current college for another year and finish up the AA, or I might go to UCF (a larger university) to finish it up. I’m not sure which one it will be yet. Anyway, after I grab my AA, I’ll go to UCF and start stabbing at their pre med program. It’s supposed to have one of the best med school acceptance percentage rates in Florida, so I think it’ll work out well. After that, I’ll go to med school at UF (and become a Gator!). Then, if I decide to and are able to, I’ll specialize in dermatology. I’ll practice for a few years locally to earn some money. I’ll live as humbly as I can (a one room house in the middle of no where with just enough power to keep my laptop up would be just fine) and save as much money as I can. Then, after I have a decent amount of money saved, I’ll divide it down the middle. I’ll invest half of it here in the US, and I’ll take the other half with me where ever I go. My current thoughts are that I’d fly to Southeast China or another impoverished area of Taiwan and practice in an area of the world that has never seen skilled doctors. From there (having learned the language though my college years) I’d open up my home for passing missionaries and possibly even be ‘sponsored’ by a church in the US. If I work in a third world country, if I’d be earning anything, it’d probably be equivalent to about a thousand dollars a year. On the East coast of Florida, it looks like dermatologists are earning about one thousand times as much (seven figures). I’d definitely be sacrificing practically all of my income, but then again, I wouldn’t be doing this for my financial gain. “What happens if you ever need to move back to the US?” Remember that invested money I talked about earlier? That should be able to support me for a while until I get work in the US again. Ok, now that that’s all cleared up, new paragraph.

I’d like to thank you all for your personal emails. It’s awesome to know how much people out there read and actively participate (mentally, if nothing else) in my strangely interactive one way writings. I’ve gotten many incredibly kind emails, and I hope to start quoting them soon. I’d love to have this blog set up in such a way that you can send me an email and I can reply to it on the air (I’m starting to call my blog ‘air’ for ease) and get some double way user feedback. I’ll also thank the 98% of you who haven’t been asking me computer questions lately. I know it takes a lot of energy to go to google and look your problems up instead of taking them to me, but I appreciate it.

Friends – the socially reclusive partially geeky and totally psychopathic teenager’s very own f-word. I don’t get asked very often about my personal life by people online, but those that do are very blunt to ask me about my friends. Friends, when you think about it, can mean so many different things. It could mean people you’re nice to who are also nice back to you and you know each others’ names. I’m in six classes at the college and I’m early to most of them. I certainly talk with many people before classes start. By this definition, I have a lot of friends. Some people have three or four friends that they talk to and do things with. Whether it be go to movies or each other’s houses or do anything just for the sake of doing it, they’d say that they are their friends. I believe that it is this definition that the people think of when they ask me, “Scott, do you have any friends?” I feel stupid saying “no.” I’m not one of the kinds of people that like to admit to or act like things are bad for him. I am by no means dissatisfied with the way things are going now. My answer remains the same, nonetheless: no. Nope, I guess I don’t. Throughout the years here and there I’ve had various people that I have gone places with or done things with. Even recently (the last few months) I spontaneously visited or met people for no reason other than itself. However, for whatever reasons, they’ve all fallen away and my answer remains no. Unfortunately, the people that I know that I seem to get along with decently live too far away from me to allow me to meet them enough to keep the friendship going. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, possibly, but that only works with lovers anyway. I’m not even going to touch that subject. This afternoon I went to a movie. I went by myself. Every time I go to a movie by myself, I feel so stupid. No one goes to a movie by themselves! If they don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend wrapped around them, the movie viewers are at least with a friend or embarrassingly close to their family. (You know the stereotypical early teen guy who’s embarrassed to be seen in public with his mommy) This afternoon after I got home I told my mom that it was funny the steps they made me go through to prove my age because they didn’t believe I was eighteen (more on this later). She said “I’ll bet that was embarrassing” and I said it wasn’t really because no one was there and it wasn’t like I was with anyone. “That’s why it’s good to have friends!” she said. I didn’t exactly see how the comment related to the subject at hand, but it sparked a new mental pathway in my mind. Do other people see this? My aloneness; is it visible to everyone? Does it look stupid? Does it look sad? My friend (Rei) told me that people who go to movies alone are either obsessed with the movie of very depressed. I don’t like to think as myself as one who’s depressed and overcome with self pity (an incredibly selfish thing done so often for public show). But, here, in my kitchen, even my mom is talking about it. Do I need to do something about it? What needs to be done? I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do, but until I know more I guess I’ll just keep coasting as I am. One thing I’ve noticed is how disgusting it is to have such shallow friends. I think you know what I’m talking about. The people that, once distanced even slightly, turn into back talking back stabbing little… peoples. Grr! The frustration and stupidity involved in my mind with these people is great. I think you see where this is going. Yep, I consider 99.5% of all computer contacts through email and aim to be the shallowest of friends. Do I consider those friends? No, I don’t. They are merely contacts, nothing more. Feel free to comment on the subject.

My eyelids are dropping. I’m very tired, and I don’t think it’s a good time for me to write about the topics I was planning on earlier. My much awaited Asian blepharoplasty discussion will have to wait until the next blog. That and my ‘lonely’ trip to the movie theatre where I kept being asked to show ID! I’m eighteen! Really! Oh well, it’ll have to wait until next blog. Until then, keep the emails flowing and the comments posting! Have a good one –Scott

P.S. What do you really think of the new layout? You know that’s my picture? One girl E mailed me and said (I quote) “you have really hot arms” (as a joke, of course). What are your thoughts on the usage of my actual picture in my layout?

P.S.S. I’ll be writing this blog in installments. Hence, the “volume one” in the title. I’m not sure how many I’m going to make, but i hope it will all flow together well. I’m still curious as to how i plan to display it when I’m done (in reverse order?) Oh well, until then, I’ll just write.

I haven’t bee able to post lately. I’ve been crazy busy. Remember now, I only have ONE computer left, and it’s my laptop. Guess what. It just broke -_-

The can that cools the processor is broken. It’s attached to the heat sink too… it looks like it’s all proprietary hardware and the only way to fix it is to replace it with a part I get from an another identical laptop or possibly from the manufacturer. I have a feeling HP won’t cooperate with me in replacing the part because I am not a first party buyer (this notebook went through many hands before it got to mine) and all the warranties are void I’m sure and all the identification numbers have rubbed off. Actually, I found some inside the notebook that seem like they’d work as far as identification goes. Anyway, old notebooks that don’t work (only good for parts) on eBay still run a few hundred bucks. I’m not sure what I’m going to do… I’ll think of something.

The problem is that the chip gets too hot and the computer dies (powers off). This happens thirty seconds after turning the computer on. I see the fan twitter a little bit, but it doesn’t actually spin. I took the laptop apart and touched the heat sink. I burned my finger. This thing got so incredibly hot. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some permanent damage to this thing. Anyway, I found an old power supply and attached it to a 12v fan I had in my closet. I then propped it up right on top of the heatsink and it’s giving me enough cooling to run for a lot longer before it dies. I even had time to put up this picture for you! Well, I’d better wrap up before my notebook does again.

If this thing ends up being impossible to fix, I’m left with two options.

a.) buy a new notebook (I’d get a really small one, probably slow)
b.) build a desktop pc (I’d make a really small one, probably slow)
c.) give up computers 100% and do all my papers on the library computers at shcool

what do you think I should do?

I’ll keep today’s blog short and sweet. I understand quite a few of you started to read last Friday’s blog but stopped before it “got good” because you got trapped in the rambling near the top. Well, for those impatient souls, I’ll recap it for ya’ today in a paragraph. Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I might move to Taiwan. Have I gotten your attention yet? Anyway, I’ve been getting a lot of very kind emails, and I wanted to thank everyone that sent them. I love getting, reading, and individually replying to personal emails that don’t have to do with fixing computers! Well, I promised I wouldn’t take too long running in circles in today’s blog, so I’d might as well get started.

For those of you that didn’t read yesterday’s post, I’ll recap for ya. Also, there’s some new info, so people who read the last post should read this too! I was getting mad with computers. I was thinking about going the medical route in college. I got so frustrated I gave away most of my computers but kept two. I started thinking a lot about med school. I had a thought “hey, wouldn’t it be cool to become a doctor and travel to a third would country in areas where the people don’t have access to skilled doctors?” I started giving it some serious thought. I’m a Christian. I prayed that God would make the path he has chosen for my life clear to my eyes so I can act upon it and start pursuing it. I got contacted by my friend. He reminded me that I literally ‘lost’ one of his computers, so I gave him one (of my remaining two) computers to replace it. I only had one computer. Then my sister downloaded a virus and brought my family’s computer to it’s knees. I didn’t have the parts to fix it (without losing data). I had to give them my computer to use for a while. I took my sister and a friend to a movie. The underlying theme of the movie was about a person who wanted to go to med school and become a doctor to take those skills to a third would country and save sick people. I was amazed. “This can’t be happening”, I thought. I lost literally all of my computers and then I get a sign like this at the movie. But, “ha! I still have my website”, I thought. I went home and checked my email one last time on my computer before turning it over to my family. I got an email. Kyle, my website hoster, said he was going to drop my hosting. (note: never say “ha!” to God ^_-) Then, the next morning, I went to a meeting with a group of people and guess what movie they decided on. Uh huh, the same one (the underlying theme of the movie was about a person who wanted to go to med school and become a doctor to take those skills to a third would country and save sick people). Then I came home and was like “wow.” But there’s more! Last night I went to my sister’s friend’s house to drop her off and she invited me to stay and watch a movie with them. I had never heard of the movie they were going to watch, “Dragonfly”, but the underlying theme of the movie was about a person who became a doctor and took those skills to a third would country and saved sick people. Oh yeah, one more thing. A few days ago in class this lady came up to me and started talking about her nephew who became a doctor and went to another country to save sick people. She talked about how he was funded through their church and his house in (whatever country it was) served as a temporary home for traveling missionaries. It’s like… wow. Everywhere I look now, I get hit with the same thing! I asked for a subtitle sign, and got thwacked in the head with a billboard!

Ok, so, what’re my thoughts on all this? It’s funny you should ask, the last blog reader wondered the same thing… Anyway, wow, what a big thing to think about! My guess at this point is that I’d go to med school and graduate and possibly practice in the US for a few months to get the hang of everything and make a little money. After that, I’d fly to another country and begin work there. Yeah, I know, it’s a lot more complicated than it sounds. I’d have to have a close contact in the area I’m going so I could meet that person and he or she could help me set up in the strange new world. Where would I go? I’m not too sure yet. I have my eyes on Taiwan at the moment, but nothing’s set in stone. I’m leaning toward some of the areas in East or Southeast Asia. How funny I will look over there! In the cities and other tourist detonations, people see Caucasian Americans all the time. However, there are still large parts of the world where white people are incredibly rare. I’m sure it’ll have its own perks and some disadvantages that come with it. For those of you who were wondering, yes, I’d learn the language of the country before I go. Optimally, I’d learn it on my own pretty well then find a person who speaks it and work with them to improve it. I’ll have a funny English accent in my Taiwanese ^_^ I’ll probably never shake it off. Then again, being in Taiwan, with very few people who speak English would give me a funny accent too! The people who do speak English in Asia usually carry with them their own accents. You’ve seen videos of people who spend a long time in another country, their English has an accent. Why not me! I want that =o) Hey, have any of you thought about girls? Yeah, would it be worth dating around and looking for a girl to be with in America if I were to do little more than leave her and fly around the world? I guess dating would be pretty pointless for the next eight years. But then, what would I do after I move. Would I get married over there? This possibility opens up a whole new door of weirdness. Chances are that if I married someone over there, they wouldn’t speak English. How strange would that be! Can you picture the day I bring her to the US to meet my family? They’d be all like “pêng-an” (Taiwanese for ‘hello’) ha ha… I don’t know what I’d do. That seems so awkward. I sit down and picture this woman sitting all quietly and having everyone stare at her from the corner of their eyes at the large family Christmas dinners. Heh… I’m weird. Anyway, how cool would it be to raise bilingual children? I think that knowing English in the poorer regions of another country is an awesome advantage for the children who grow up there. I’d go into details now, but I’m trying not to bore people. Hey, I wonder what little things will change if I were to live in another country? I’d be “the American guy”… I could act like a ninja. Wait a minute, what do I know about being a ninja? I could be like a… James Bond. Yeah, I’d be mister cool. James Bond in Taiwan (see? It rhymes?) Yeah anyway, I’d be all ‘foreigey’ with my American clothes and shoes and the accent I’ll never be able to shake off. Then again, I picture myself as an older man at this point. I’d be in my mid twenties by the time I’m done with med school. I’d be a young guy over there… how interesting? I keep saying “there” and “over there” like I know where I’m talking about. Truth be told, I don’t really know the location. So, the whole world is at risk. Watch out world! Here I come.

I think it’s time to ask; what do you think? Seriously… what do you all think about this stuff? Click the contact button on the top right of this site to send me an email. It’s nice to hear from you guys, and I think I’m going to start posting some user emails pretty soon.

Good evening. This is your writer Scott, and I’m going to be changing the way things work around here. The Scott you’ve known in the past is no more. Through a quite unique series of events, I’ve changed quite a lot. You’ll notice I haven’t been on AIM lately. You’ll also notice that I threw away 95% of my computer equipment. That’s right; I’m left with my laptop and a web-server. I don’t have any plans to get any more equipment any time soon. My life, well, it’s been slowly bending in a new direction. Last week, it creased. Some things happened quickly and suddenly that emphasized the subtleness of my life. What am I talking about? Just stuff, here and there. Hopefully I’ll be able to stay away from some of my past stupidities. I’m changing my topics a little bit. Hey, I’m even talking some more about God in this post, how cool is that? I’ll tell you more about that later. For now, realize that this blog post is crazy-long. On top of that, I doubt I’ll post again really soon. You might want to take your time and read it slowly (over two or three days?) if you’re one of my avid followers. All right, now that the formal introduction and pretext is out of the way, I’ll start nailing down some of the topics I’ve inscribed in my proverbial “to blog” list.

Ok, I know everyone is wondering what the heck I am doing to myself. For those of you who have been living in a coma for the last four weeks, I have made some incredibly big changes to my computers. Well, to be more specific, my ex-computers. That’s right. They got the boot. I stopped aim (well, mostly, more on this later) and started weeding out the computers that weren’t one hundred percent necessary to run my website and started giving them away. I gave most of my stuff away to people I knew, and threw some of it away. I even got a chance to meet Rei (aka ‘zero’, the co writer of aimpoo). Anyway, right now the only usable computer I have is my laptop. It’s back in my room again, but it hasn’t been for the last seven days. Once again, I’ll talk more in this one later. The burning question still remains though. Allow me to quote the twenty fifth letter of the alphabet: “y?” Well, it’s really interesting what’s been happening. It’s a story that I think is really cool, and that I have decided to share. I know it’d be pretty easy for people to accuse me, insult me, ridicule me, make fun of me, or discourage me because of (or using) the things I’m about to write. I, however, am willing to accept these possible actions because, well, I think it’ll be worth it. Plus, I would much like to hear what some of you think. So, with your professional courtesy, please think about what you write to me. And, oh yeah, be a little careful when talking about this in person (if you’re one of the very few who sees me in person) Thanks. Well, here I go.

It all started eighteen years ago. September twenty fourth of nineteen eighty five, one of the greatest events in history occurred. I was born. I’ll skip a little bit to save you some reading time. About two weeks ago, I finally decided that I needed to make a decision. (what a strange sentence!) Up until then, my current plan for the next decade of my life (as of the last four years, at least) was to finish up college with a computer engineering degree, grab a job, find a wife, and live happily ever after. However, yeah, this changed. Since I was young (really young) I’ve been interested in medical stuff. Although it wasn’t as obvious (how does one show it?), it did parallel most of my computer work in the last few years of my life. When I was in second grade, everyone in my class shared what they wanted to be. “A fireman”, Chris said. “I teacher”, Tiffany said. “Scott, what do you want to be when you grow up?” my teacher reluctantly asked me. “I want to be a pediatric cardiovascular surgeon.” As much as I doubt I’d decide to become one now, I was delighted with the idea of having a profession that took twelve and a half seconds to say. As I grew older, I got a tad more realistic. I decided, in seventh grade, that I wanted to be a dermatologist. Living in Florida, skin cancer is everywhere. People I knew closely would always talk about getting things burned, melted, frozen, cut, or peeled off of their skin. Although it sounds a little disgusting, I was fascinated in a morbid curiosity. From then on, I decided that if I became something in the medical field, dermatology would be my goal. Well, as I got older, I learned more and more about programming and hardware and other computer things, so I decided I’d stick my medical ideas on the back burner and work with my newer toys. Although they were, at times, rewarding, I look back and remember frustrations outnumbering the rewards and benefits one hundred to one. Almost as bad as my own frustrations with myself and with my current (obsessive) projects, I got fed up with other people. New paragraph.

People need to get a clue. I don’t want to sound bad or mean or harsh or cutting or annoying or complaining or obnoxious or sarcastic or prideful or anything like that, but if your computer is broken please don’t think I somehow “owe” it to you to fix it. It came to a point where people would literally drop their computers on my porch and expect me to fix them. Now, for those of you who I’ve helped in the past, no worries. If I offered, this message is not for you. In fact, I know no one I’m about to talk about will read this message. So, in other words, if you’re reading this, it doesn’t apply to you. And, inversely, I can say anything bad I want, so back up! All right, now there’s nothing more frustrating, disappointing, and constipating about finding someone’s computer on the porch to fix. The worst thing is when someone will put it there without a note or anything. They think that I think it’s a fun game to bring it in and hook it up and try to figure out whose computer it is. They think that I think it’s a fun little puzzle trying to figure out what’s wrong with it, then find a way to fix it. Then, when I give it back, they complain about an icon being moved or a setting being changed. “No, I’m sorry; I don’t know why your start menu is on the bottom. I do believe it was always that way.” Yeah, if you leave your computer in my back porch again, I’m moving it to the front porch. The garbage men will get it the next morning.

Well, you know my stance on anonymous computer drop offs being frustrating, but the truth is that the reasons behind my little “drop everything” stunt go a little deeper. I know you women readers picked up on this long ago, but for you male readers out there, I’m the type of guy with a personality that takes in everything and holds it inside, only to let it explode once or twice a year. Well, I built up frustration for a long time from these stupid little things. Oh yeah, I’ll admit, it was completely my fault because I didn’t have the guts to say “no, go get someone else to do it.” Anyway, I just… I got so sick of it. I finally became to realize that I really did hate being taken advantage of. I didn’t mind it in the past, because I didn’t realize how much it happened. Once I started playing with my aim times (not using AIM for a week, or a day, or a length of time, then signing back on eventually) I realized that 95%+ of the people that contact me online try to get me to do things for them. Sometimes it’ll be the simple quick and easy question about a python function or a Photoshop question or something like that. I don’t mind these much. It’s the people who expect me to drop my life and sit down while I walk them through installing some newbie Linux distribution (redhat, mandrake, fedora, etc) on their computer make me sick! Excuse me while I vomit. Now, I’m not saying that you’re a pinhead because you’re asking me these things. I’m saying you’re a pinhead because you’re not asking google these things. I’ll be honest; I’m not a very smart guy. Do you think I was born knowing the things I do? People can’t seriously think that I popped out knowing about Linux programming or windows modifications. I learned it all from what I found on the internet. And, I know you and I have the same google. Google can answer almost any computer question. Documentation is everywhere. User groups like those at linuxquestions.org are filled with thousands of people willing to help you! Not to mention the twenty four seven tech support you can get from people hanging out in #linux irc rooms in almost any large irc server. You don’t need me to fix your silly little computer, you can get help somewhere else. If you ask, that’s fine, I don’t have a problem. If I tell you to look elsewhere, DON’T KEEP ASKING! I don’t understand how people think that I’m going to change my mind or something. A few of you know that at times of great frustration, I’ve walked people right through erasing their hard drives. (it’s true!)

It’s not really about the people Scott, is it? Well, not entirely. Although they have stripped me of my dignity and value and left me thinking of myself as little more than a 411 service, it’s not the reason I started changing. The fact is, so many people are going for engineering degrees that I am starting to get a little scared. I knew this was the case for a while, but recently I talked with a guy who’s almost done with his computer engineering degree and he’s already talking about having to go back to school because the jobs are so bad. Jobs are (and will be more) scarce. I don’t think I’d have a problem finding a job. The problem comes in the surplus of workers. Even if I’m better than another worker, why would that company pay me much money if they could just hire the other worker for less? I don’t worry about my job; I’m starting to worry about the income. I’d need a good job to support my wife and family on, I’m a little queasy about going blindly into a field with a fairly unpredictable and unstable job market. Also, I’m at somewhat as a disadvantage. Although I’ve been able to teach myself a lot of things about computers, software, and some hardware, (which is good), I’m still incredibly… uninformed (how’s that for a word?) about almost everything else. I’m not blaming anyone for this, but my dad’s a dentist. He does teeth stuff, and I’m told he does it really really well. In his office, he’s very skillful with his dental tools. Take him out of his office, place him in a garage and give him a wrench, and he’s disabled. I didn’t really learn much about anything growing up, and I’m paying for it now. I’ve been spending some time here and there trying to study simple things that I simply never knew (dumb stuff, like washing machines, cars, ac units, refrigerators, etc) but there are simply incredibly large chunks of information that I don’t even know exist, much less know anything about them! If I went into engineering, I would not want to be a guy to write software for my living. I’ll be honest, I really do hate programming. I’ll do it for fun or relaxation here or there, but programming something boring for someone else on a demanding schedule? It’s like doing redundant and boring math homework that never ends. My thoughts were that I’d be able to learn enough to invent something (some kind of consumer product, most likely) that I could design, create, and sell rights to. Being that I have also been instilled with an almost completely useless ability for anything mechanical, being practically useless at this mechanical engineering would prove to be my tragic flaw; something to cause an ultimate downfall in my goals (to put it lightly). The schooling, I know I’d be able to fight my way through it. Once I’m out though, a degree’s nothing but a little more on a paycheck. I’d have to go on what I know. So, yeah, that’s something I’ve been thinking about lately.

So, I’ve got another possibility. What about going medical after all? I mean, I still am interested in all that stuff. UCF (practically in my back yard) has an awesome premed program. From there, I’d most likely go to UF for med school (me, a gator!?) The job market is wide open! Especially in Florida (an area that’s really hard to find a good engineering job in) there is a need for doctors. The dermatologists around here are incredible! Almost all of the offices are not accepting new patients because they’re too booked! Those that are have a six month plus waiting list. Also, there would be a nice increase in income. I’d literally learn about fifteen times as much money fresh out of school at the current rates. Crazy, huh? Although money is important, it’s not a big factor in my decision. I’d happily give up the extra pay to have a job I like more. Lately, the way computers have been frustrating me, I don’t know if I could do it. Ok, so, let’s say I decided to go the medical route after all. Would I need my computers at all? Not really. Would I be able to do it? I don’t know, let’s try it!

“Let’s try it”, there you have it. That’s what I did when I started giving up AIM for large periods of time. I said I gave up AIM, but really I gave up most everything on the computer outside of blogging and typing papers. I don’t think you realize how much time I really do spend on this stupid sack of chips. When I stopped all my programming and project working, I was amazed at the sheer volume of free time that opened up. Free time quickly turned into boredom, but it was much needed. I needed to unwind after all these months. Anyway, I can honestly say that I didn’t really miss it. Cool, mission accomplished. I decided to sign back on. All I got were more people asking for help. Gawh, it made me sick! I (stupidly) turned back into my old self and complied. Mind you, this is still three weeks or so ago. I complied, got attacked by idiots who were just… grr… I’m not going there. And no, I’m not talking about SP or TBA (they’re sub-idiots). Anyway, to top it off, I got this practically obscene phone call from this guy trying to get me to do this outrageously stupid thing to his computer. I’m not going to even start with who or what it was. Anyway, I just… I can’t do this. I started making phone calls and shooting messages to people I knew offering my old computer equipment. Something’s got to give, and these computers are causing so many problems.

I watched them go and didn’t stop giving them away! I knew that if I stopped long enough to think about what I was doing I’d change my mind. I didn’t do that until I gave everything away. I was afraid of a recoil “why did I do that!?” whine, but one never came. In fact, to date, I’m still fine and dandy. All right, it’s decided, I figured. For now, at least, I’m going to pursue the medical route. I guess I’ll be taking Chemistry II after all! Well, I started giving my stuff away, but I was sure to keep my main workstation. My main workstation was the computer with three precious monitors. Aww, it was amazing. Those of you who know me know I’m a Christian. I pray for guidance and direction in my life when I need help figuring out what to do. Anyway, this was one of those times. I knew that going around in circles back and forth in college degrees was something that I couldn’t do, so I had to decide my plan fast. And, most importantly, I didn’t want to choose wrongly! Well, I asked for direction and I prayed that the right path would be clear so I’d know what to do. The next day, my last remaining computer went bye bye.

Oops! I lost someone’s computer. Someone I know left his computer outside of my house and went out of town. I was informed of where it was and was supposed to go to his house and pick it up and fix it. Well, I did that. Err, I started to at least. I went to the guy’s house, got his computer, and stuck it in my room. Computers are flying left and right in my room. I was still at the point where I was weeding out the good computer giveaway stuff from the junky throwaway stuff. I can honestly say that I don’t know what happened, but the next week when I finally (got time to) went to look for his computer to fix it, I couldn’t find it. Curiosity turned to panic. To make a long story short, I looked everywhere, and it was nowhere to be found. I phoned all the guys I gave parts to and no one took it. My guess is that it got in the trash pile somehow, but I hope in the back of my head that it went to someone (and was put to good use). Yeah, so, anyway I didn’t have anything to replace it with! (I already gave away all my stuff). The computer I “lost” was a 1.4ghz AMD athlon with 256mb of ddr and a 40gig hard drive. Funny, my main workstation (my only remaining computer, the one with three monitors) was a 1.4ghz AMD athlon with 256mb of ddr and a 40gig hard drive. Ok, that was weird. Well, I guess the only responsible thing I can do is to give him mine. Now, this guy, I know he might be reading this, so I’ll go on and clarify that I have no hard feelings =o) I was an idiot, I can’t believe I lost your old computer, and it’s all cool Anyway, yeah, so my last computer just went out the door. Earlier I prayed for a sign, but I didn’t really take this for one. I’m always a little slow (ignorant?) to jump the gun on these sorts of things.

So, I started thinking. Then I started thinking some more. I’m not exactly sure of the events that led up to it, but I had this crazy idea. I heard someone talking about something like this a little while ago and thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if I were formally schooled here, became a doctor, and moved to some far away part of the world that doesn’t have access to skilled doctors and professional medicine?” You all know how I love being in other places like that. I was in China for a few weeks a little while ago, I loved being in another world… anyway, I really ran with this idea. I thought about all the different things that could happen (more on these later) and thought it sounded really cool. But, dang, wait a minute Scott. That’s a pretty big thing. How do you know it’s right for you? Well, you know how sometimes you feel like you’re repeating yourself when you pray? I know I do at least. I asked God to make His path clear to my eyes so if it really were something that He wanted me to do, I’d be able to prepare for it. This happened Friday morning.

It was a Friday afternoon. I was very bored (no computer, remember?) and I had no more classes that day. With a full empty weekend in which to spend my time studying, I had no homework pressure. My sister and her friend wanted me to take them to a movie. “Sure, why not.” I went to a movie (an incredibly, incredibly, girly movie) and my jaw dropped. Guess what part of the plot was? That’s right. It was about someone starting out in college and about to go into medical school with the plans of taking those skills to a third world country without any skilled doctors. I just… ok… wow… I wasn’t expecting that. After the movie I came home and was like, “was that really what I think it was?” I repeated my prayer again. I started arguing with what I just saw. (Isn’t it funny how we ask for signs, then argue with them when we see them?) I was in the position of “what about my computer stuff? My last computer is gone; all I have now is my laptop! That’s it!” Once again, I decided to look for subtitle hints at what I should do. I walk into the living room. Oh, that’s nice. Kelly downloaded a virus on the kitchen computer and brought it to its knees. I couldn’t repair it because I didn’t have any computers’ parts to work with! I decided that the task would have to wait until I could find some computer parts in my closet to build a new computer to suck the data off the drive. (totally nuked windows installation, but data on the disk needed to be recovered) Anyway, I realized I couldn’t do it soon, and they needed a computer for email and typing a paper. I only had one choice. Remember that laptop of mine? The only computer I had left. Well, I had to put that in the kitchen. Wired to the monitor, keyboard, and mouse they normally used, it seemed just like their old computer. But, dang! I prayed for a sign that computers weren’t for me, and… ok now I’m just mad at this point. But it’s ok! It’s ok. I still have my website. My website isn’t run by my computer; it is run by my web host. Ha! (note: don’t say “ha!” to God) Once I finished setting up my laptop in the kitchen, I decided to check my email one last time. I got one, what do ya’ know? Huh, it’s from Kyle… my… web… host. Yeah, it looks like due to some events (his parents are in the hospital, too) he’s not going to be able to provide me hosting anymore. Um… wow. Next morning, I hear that Kelly’s going to a movie with the track team. Being that I didn’t have anything to do (no computers, what else is there, right?) I decided to tag along. My mom was going with her, so I decided just to go and kill some time. They all met at a mall. They decided to see a movie. They were going to see the lady killers, but at the last second they changed their mind. Guess what movie we saw… mm hum, same one again. Although I didn’t tell anyone I’d already seen it… And, yes, it was confirmed, the person definitely said what I thought they did. So, wow, I’m still a little… shocked at this. And, yeah, technically I’m sure it somehow could be a very odd coincidence. But even so, it’s given me enough to go on to give me a goal and a reason to obtain it.

Scott, you’re really going to live us? Pfft, Like you care. I’m sorry, that just slipped out. Actually, I was just being factious. Then again, I’ll quote the very man whose computer I lost / replaced when I say “there’s a little truth in every joke.” Although I don’t mean it to sound bad, I will say this. As sad as it may seem (though it doesn’t affect me negatively (to my awareness) in any way), I’m not really close to anyone here. I think the people I’m closest to in my life right now (beside my family, I guess?) are some of the people I’m in classes with. This is a pretty scary thought in itself, because I see these people only in class and every semester I get all new people. Yeah, I know I know some people that I may have seen, talked to, gone places with, or done things with, but there’s no one I’m incredibly close to. I think this is due to my personality at the moment. I mean, I don’t think I’d even want something like that! I much enjoy working on my own and doing things by myself. Don’t get me wrong though, I do appreciate having someone to do things with. Ehh, I’m going in circles. Look at me, it’s incredible. One would almost think I’m undecided about my own mind ^_-

Before I post details, I’d like to get some user feedback! I’m planning another blog within the next few days to put up some personal thoughts and ideas of things that relate to “the big change” I talked about earlier. I encourage you to send feedback via email (click on the contact button on the top right of this website) and give comments or ask questions. In fact, before I depart, I think I’ll mention my new plans for how the comments system of this website will be working shortly.

Your thoughts and comments are important to me! There’s nothing more rewarding than getting the ideas and opinions of nice people who read my blog and share their thoughts. Ok, well, maybe some things are more rewarding, but that’s still pretty cool. Unfortunately, thanks to some whackos that derive fun from publicly acting like idiots on my comments pages, I am in the process of removing the ability to post live feedback. I will be doing all feedback through email from now on. I’ll post more information as I get to it. I have a little system in mind, and I hope it will work well. I’d like to be able to post peoples’ emails (or portions of them) on the next day’s post so I can have a chance to respond to it or use it to start a new topic. That way, I encourage people to put some thought behind their posts, and also have the ability to make some real points, statements, and resolve some issues publicly. I think it’ll be pretty cool Although for those of you who are obsessed with reading my blog, I’ll have a feedback section where I list all of my incoming feedback emails (unless specifically stated that they’re to remain private) so everyone can read everything. And, oh yeah, since everything goes through me, I can cut out any mails I want. Hopefully, idiots will stay in the sand box.

And with that, I need to get going. It looks like I’ve reached 4728 words already. I remember when that seemed like a lot. Now, I just sit down and let it spill out. Anyway, I’ll put some time into writing more and reading emails within the next few days. I fixed the kitchen computer and got my laptop back, by the way. I am going to choose to not talk on AIM still, however. I’ll write about that soon also, ok? You can email me though. I should always be available. Simply click the contact button on the top right of this web site to email me. Well, I’m off. Have a good one –Scott

I’m starting over and retyping this blog. After getting in bed (well, getting on the floor at least) I realized that I was too vague and didn’t feel right leaving it at just this. I don’t think the time is right to go into the full story, but I can certainly tie up some loose ends. First off, something really large has been churning in my mind for a long time (years) that I kept secret because I never thought it’d happen. Lately (the last few months) it’s been growing on me. A few days ago, it started coming back in my mind as a possibility. Today, it really got ahold of me, and I realized that I was in the middle of a choice that will change my life. I’d love to talk about it now, but it’s not the time. I have only told two people on the face of this planet so far. I just… I need time to work some things out. Right at the climax of this, some other things came crashing down. For example, I just got an email from Kyle (my friend / web host) and he said both of his parents are dying. He doesn’t have the resources to maintain his hosting business by himself, and he’s going to have to let it go. The guy has been giving me free (really good) hosting for the last six months. I greatly appreciate it, and have no hard feelings. I guess I’ll be souping-up my little home server again. I think I’m going to try to serve my blogs from that in the next few days. I’ll have to cut back on the image quality and amount of images, and I’ll have to stop posting mp3s and video clips, but I think it will work out well. So, if you see my site’s down, don’t sweat it. It’ll be worked out in a few weeks.

I finally got rid of my last computer. Well, not completely. I’ll write about it soon when I write about the rest of the things I mentioned (earlier). I’ll be out of simple contact for the next few days. If you email me [KnightHacker@cfl.rr.com] I will get your message and respond to it quickly, all right? I’ll leave the webcam on, but I have no way to check it, so if it goes down, too bad. However I don’t think it’ll go down. You get to watch me and my first weekend in fifteen years without a comptuer in my room. Well, until next time… I guess this is goodbye

–Scott

Ok, just so you know… due to popular request finally capping-off my ever-growing frustration, I’m done talking about “those two” lamers again. That’s right; SP and TBA will never again be mentioned in my blog. For all of you who didn’t like reading about it, I guess you now know a small fraction of the frustration that I had build up inside myself. All right, now that that’s over, on with my blog. This morning I went to chemistry class. We had a quiz in the beginning of class. My lap partner (Lala) was sitting next to me during the quiz. We always joke about the grades we get in a casual competition for who gets the higher sores. The funny thing is that the teacher seems harder on her than he does on me. One week we both turned in identical homework sheets (we did it together) and I got a 19and she got a 17 (out of 20) and we had identical answers. He graded with partial credit, which was good, but he gave me tons more slack than he gave her. We think (hope) that it was just a random thing and he graded my paper first so he was more lenient. Anyhow, things like this keep happening. She always (in the past) has been one or two points behind me. On the last test, she was two points behind me. Today, we both took the same quiz. The quiz was only one question. During the Chemistry lab the professor grades our quizzes. He yelled out “Scott, Lala, where are you?” To make a long story short (truth be told, I don’t remember exactly how it went) he said we were cheating. We both had the identical (wrong) answer. Even to the decimal places! It was something like 61818.18Hz. I didn’t copy off Lala’s paper, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t copy off of mine. It was a little funny though. It did look bad though, I hope it didn’t hurt my credibility in his eyes, but oh well. I thought it was something worth blogging about. Oh yeah, for those of you who care about my grade, he saw that I did most of my work right, so he gave me an 8 (of 10) on the quiz even though I (we) got the wrong answer.

I’m quite the procrastinator! I’ve had this pile of math homework that was assigned about a month ago. It is due Tuesday. I’m guessing it will take me from seven to ten hours to do it. It’s about two hundred problems of stupid and redundant math. I hate this professor. He’s so boring to listen to in class because he says the same things over and over. If I were new to math, or didn’t do well in it, I guess it’d be a good thing. But, heck, I can breeze through this class. It’s hard to listen to the guy. Actually (I’m so bad) I’ve been taking a book (Battle Royale) in this class. That’s right, I read during his lectures. I put out my math book, old math homework, calculator, and a pencil on my desk. Then I open up the small book on my lap and read. From his view, it looks like I’m staring at my homework. Ehh, who am I fooling. He probably knows what I’m doing. I haven’t gotten yelled at for it though. I think that as long as I keep getting As on my test, he’ll be lenient on that sort of thing. Ahh! I’m late for class. I’m leaving immediately.

Hey, I’m back! Phew, that was a close one. I made it to math class in time to make the roll call. I got a lot accomplished in tonight’s math class! That’s right, I finished reading my Battle Royale book ^_^ I know, I’m so bad! Anyway, the ending was awesome! It was totally different from the movie. It was just… wow, I don’t know why they didn’t make the movie like that! Also, the timing and order was moved around in the movie. Entire scenes from the movie were identical to the book, but at times it was completely off. And… aww great.

It’s ten forty five at night, and I’m trying to prepare my mind to think strongly in two mornings. I’m taking the ACT for my last time. It’s my last semester of school as a high school student, so I’m going to try to get the best score I can. It’ll look better to colleges later on, and it might even get me more scholarship money. So, yeah, I really need to go. Tomorrow morning I wake up early and register for my summer school classes. Sorry about the abruptly cut off ending of this blog, but I lost track of time again. I’ll blog tomorrow, I think…