Archive for March, 2004

Too busy studying tonight to blog afterall…

I spent ten to fifteen minutes on my new layout. What do you think?

Then I spent too much time working on the new version of venomcrack!

Now, I have to do chemistry homework. Yuk!

As an “I’m Sorry” for not blogging, I’ll give you this: chase.wmv (let me know what you think)

I am Jack’s reclaimed time. Today I’m finally feeling a noticeable amount of extra time in my day. Long have the benefits of moderation been forgotten, only to be replaced with petty and insignificant desires of the self and obsessions of the mind. Last night I was able to get a lot done. I even spent some time and wired up a really nice speaker system for my computer. I moved some (unused) equipment from the area around my TV and set it up around my computer. Yes, it would be much better to watch movies with the nice audio equipment, but I watch my TV about one thousandth as much as I listen to music on my computer (this is true). I figured, well, why not. I spent a little while with my soldering gun tipping speaker wire and wiring up some new connectors. Thankfully I was able to find a box of empty RCA connectors that I was able to solder onto some extra speaker wire I had laying around. I need some more wire so I can (properly) hook up my rear speakers (right now I’m using twisted pair cat5 Ethernet cable) but for now it works. The advantage of this new arrangement is clarity. This little rig is so sweet (for me, at least). It is five channels of surround sound and a pretty respectable sub (under the desk). I guess that brings me to six speakers; right, left, center, rear right, rear left, and subwoofer. The equalizer is cool too. I have it within arms reach of my computer chair, but it has a remote that uses RF instead of IR signals to transmit the data. The advantage of this is that the radio frequencies (RF) are more or less omni directional. I can point the remote in any direction anywhere in my room and it works just as well. This is much better than the inferred (IR) remotes that are so common these days. Obsessed am I? Obsessed I am. Maybe I’ll actually get a halfway decent sound card one of these years. Right now I’m running on a card with the advance logic als4000 chipset, which is decently supported in Linux, but is prone to soft hisses and pops when turned up loudly. Also, remember that when I say “turned up loudly” I don’t mean to imply that I listen to loud music. I listen to very quiet music (especially recently, some of the older German operas, don’t ask) and have to turn it up often to be able to hear it well. I cringe when I turn up the volume only to hear the annoying and seemingly inescapable shhhhh sound. If I close my eyes, it almost sounds like a waterfall. Drown me. I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself an audiophile, but then again it’s all relative. Someone who is obsessed would say I’m perfectly normal, while someone who is perfectly normal would say that I’m obsessed. I guess I’m somewhere in the middle, which works out for me. Ok, I think I’m done with the topic. How does that sound?

I stayed awake in my morning class today! You make think it’s a coincidence, but I believe it has something to do with my early retirement last night. Hold the phone. Am I the only eighteen year old guy who uses the word “retire” instead of “go to bed”? I can vividly remember saying things like “before I retire” or “retire until morning”, etc. I wonder if it sounds stupid to other people. Ok, continuing on. This morning I was wide awake in class and alert. Then again, it’s Tuesday, and I’m always awake in my morning Chemistry class. My early math classes are a challenge though, because I usually know everything they’re talking about. Chemistry on the other hand, chemistry is a challenge! I have to pay attention so I can put up a fight (in my own mind, at least) and do well. I really need to make sure I get the highest grades possible in the sciences… especially if I do end up going in the medical area. Anyway, I kept glancing over at the girl that sits beside me. With her eyes usually closed, her head resting on her arm, and her neck gently tilted, I was under the impression that she was phasing in and out of reality and drifting into the realm of light sleep. I watched as her head slowly kept tilting to the right. It slowly kept twisting… slowly… more and more… and then… Snap! Her head rolled off her hands and put pressure (torque) on her neck and caused her to jerk her head up with eyes wide open. I turned away and looked back at the board but something about the incident hit me as funny… I started chuckling quietly. “Are you laughing at me?”, she asked. “A little bit” ^_^

Yuk. I need to go write an entrance essay. I was accepted into UCF last year, but I ended up not going at the last minute. I’m going to start taking classes there soon, but since a year has passed since I was accepted, I have to re-apply. I’m sure I’ll get accepted again, but I have to write a 500 word essay. I know what you’re thinking. “Scott, you sit on your laptop and pull a seven thousand word blog out of your butt, you’re worrying about a 500 word essay?” Well, no, it’s not like that. You see, here (in my blog, that is) I can write about anything and make myself appear however I’d like. I try to remain somewhat passive and humble in my writing. Who wants to be around a stuck-up person? The problem is that these little essays are where you’re supposed to brag. It’s where you’re supposed to sound stuck up. It’s where, well, you just talk about yourself! I hate that. I’m not sure why. I don’t have doubt that I can easily do it, but dang, I don’t like it! I guess it’s some deeply buried mental voice that whispers, “Scott, bad things will happen if you say that.” If I were to post tonight, for example, on how good I am at everything and how smart I am and how wonderful of a person I am, I doubt I’d have positive responses. Ok, enough about this topic. No one really cares, do they? I’ll write one more paragraph I guess, and then I’m out.

Music. My preferences in the subject seem to shift constantly. I thought I’d take the time to give everyone a little update. I mentioned German opera earlier in this post, so I thought I’d go on and dump the full story. First of all, I peevishly reject American contemporary slash popular music. I don’t want to sound bad here, and I want to make it clear that I don’t look down upon people who listen to music I don’t like, all right? Got it? Good. Anyway, I have seen so many people helplessly wrapped in the invisible twines of popularity and social acceptance. People so often (mainly in middle and high school) dress, act, look, and talk like the people they’re around to try and fit in. I read the “about me” page on a girl’s website a long time ago and I was struck with one comment she made when asked what kind of music she listens to. “I listen to pop music so I can be popular.” Doesn’t this seem sad? Anyway, I’ve always tried to stay away from the newest and most common forms of… everything, in an attempt to keep my head above the crowd and see with unclouded eyes. Basically, I just listen to what I like. Something I don’t like is when a song has really shallow lyrics. What’s your favorite song? If you were to write the lyrics on a paper, would anyone want to read them? If the lyrics are stupid, bad, immature, or about “love” (!) then wouldn’t you be associated with, of, or by those things? I’m not making my point clear. I don’t know how to say my point. Stupid words subtract from the music. In my opinion, if I’m going to listen to music with words, those words have to be pretty incredible, or in another language so I can make up whatever meaning I want to for them. Over 99% of the music I listen to is either purely instrumental or in another language (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, German, or some other [Eastern] language, in that order). I’m the type of person to get “stuck” on one thing for a while, grow sick of it, then move to something else. While editing that video clip I posted yesterday, I was reminded of the days when I’d spend so much time listening to German and Russian opera. You know that song that plays when the girl dies in the clip I put up the other day? Yeah, that is “Auf dem Wasser zu singen” by Franz Schubert. I’m sure kazaa has it, if you get bored some day, leech it! Schubert is long dead, I’m sure he won’t mind ^_-

Well, I’d better get going. I have a short essay to write, some chemistry to study, and some math homework to get started on. I have a night class tonight, but I get back early (7:30ish) tonight and will probably have some more time to… do whatever. Another major room cleaning is on my agenda. Also, as far as the webcam thing goes, I’m so fed up with the stupid camera and people asking me to fix it that. So… yeah, I’m considering disabling it for a while. Of course, that’d mean I’d have to change my layout back… or maybe make a new layout? What’s this about a new layout? What about that really “cute” thing you were going to write about? Later folks, possibly later tonight…

28 days remaining…

Wow, I’m posting twice today. How cool is that? Humm, not very. Anyway, it’s fairly late at the time I’m starting to write this, so I doubt it will be long. I’ll try to stick to the point, but you know how I am. There’s no telling what I’m going to end up talking about tonight. Everyone should be noticing by now that since I’m not IMing (for 30 days), I’m putting some of that time into writing this blog. Thus, my blog will be updated at least once a day (and sometimes more!) If you’re at all interested in “keeping up”, make sure you check my site every day! If possible, check it multiple times every day. By doing this you can see the posts early enough to be able to comment on them. I instinctively only look at comments on the most recent posts, so if you have anything important to write make sure you post it on the most recent entry. Actually, if you have something important to write, email me! KnightHacker@cfl.rr.com is the address, all right?

I’ve been getting large amounts of stupid IMs. Yes, I’ve decided to read my incoming IMs after all. Some of them, at least… they’re easily erased so seriously, if you have anything important, email it to me or call me with it, all right? Ok, good. Anyway, returning to the topic of these stupid IMs. Allow me to read one of them to you. “Scott I think AimPoo is [messing] with my computer. Please IM me when you get back.” Well, in 29 days he’ll get an IM from me all right. Surprisingly TBA and SP (The Black Album and Shyne Po) haven’t tried to contact me. It’s amazing. I feel better already. This little “I will read incoming IMs but not send any back” is being teased by some people I know. Today I got a “Scott IM me within the next two minutes if you’re in, I have a 1.6ghz notebook that no one’s claiming and you can have it for 50$ so if you want it IM me right now.” Yesterday I got a “Scott, I have a proposal.” The first one was hard because I knew (or thought) I was missing out on something cool. The second one ate at my mind ALL day. Who the heck sends those five words and never finishes his own thoughts? In case the person who wrote it is reading this, I’m just being silly, don’t take it too seriously! Anyway, it’s like, hello! Type it out. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to try to sleep tonight knowing that it might have been something absolutely incredible that I just missed out on.

Wow, what a large amount of feedback I got dealing with that last video clip I put on my website less than twelve hours ago! I got countless IMs and even a few emails (along with the comments) about that little video clip. The Mp3 section is interesting, but it’s little more than a toy. No one really cares about audio these days. Video though… Video seems to still be “new” on the net. If you get a guy acting like an idiot in front of a microphone, no one will want to listen to it. If you get a guy acting like an idiot in front of a video camera, you’d be amazed how many people want to watch. Would you still bother with [insert your favorite TV series here] if it were sound only? Certainly this is an interesting thought. Well, I doubt I’ll be posting some more videos any time soon. I haven’t checked to see what kind of damage that last clip did to my bandwidth, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it too often. Yes, I know, I don’t really have to worry about bandwidth (I’m close friends with a guy who owns a hosting company, so he takes care of me), but I do want to be polite to the guy and not take advantage of my situation (for which I am very grateful!)

Well, that was short, good night time. I have something really interesting to write about tomorrow morning. I’ll definitely need all of your help in pushing me to make a decision about something. I guess it’s not ultimately important, and not exactly the most constructive. However it’s something that I really want to give some thought to. It’s something that the guys will roll their eyes at… and something most girls will roll their eyes at… but something that some girls might find really “cute”. It’s something with so little purpose, but so much meaning! It’s something with so many possibilities. It’s something that can change the way I think about so much. It’s something that I can use to help me to do and think so many things! It’s something really cool, in my opinion. After its [hypothetical] completion, I think it’ll prove to be something I’ll be glad I did. Yeah, don’t you wish you knew what I am talking about? Tune in around lunchtime tomorrow and I’ll write about it. Later!

Didn’t expect me to post again so soon, did ya? Well, some interesting things have happened lately so I thought I’d take a little bit of time and write about them. As you’ve most likely noticed from yesterdays’ post, I’m starting to write shorter blogs that have more meaning. Hopefully with some conscious action I can kick my infinite rambling habits! Then again, is it such a bad thing? If nothing else, my ramblings are from my mind and escape through my fingers into the keyboard and end up as text. In other words, they’re unique to me. Even though they may seem like senseless ramblings (very much like the few sentences you’re reading now) they hold the figurative fingerprint of Scott and are therefore unique to me. Something else that’s somewhat unique to me (at least I like to think so, at least) is my strange usage of tenses and persons. I will sometimes switch tenses without warning or consistency. However I always give thought to keeping it grammatically accurate, unlike how I used to be. There, see? In the last three sentences I referred to myself in the future, present, and the past. Scott also talks about himself sometimes. By this I mean he says his own name in the third person. No longer is this blog written from the first person point of view. Oh yeah, as if that’s not confusing enough, wait until you see how he switches back and forth without any real reason? I like to try to keep my readers on their toes just a little bit by keeping a level horizon while shifting the boardwalk. Oh my, is this a strange metaphor? That’s another thing. I’ll keep using (sometimes re-using) strange references that don’t seem to make too much sense. When read lightly, these strange references are (to me, at least) very interesting and above all, unique. One of my favorite lines is “clinging onto my sanity by the very fingernails of my existence”. I imagine sanity as a dark black rocky wall to which I’m hanging on by the tips of my fingers. You know the feeling you get if you slowly pull your fingernails back? It hurts. It hurts like crazy. Below me is insanity itself. Doesn’t that little line sound so much cooler now? Maybe next time you’ll stop and pay attention when I say I’m “clinging onto my sanity by the very fingernails of my existence”. All right, enough with my uniqueness. Onto the blog!

So, how’s that “no computer” stuff going? Well, like I said (or hinted at) before, I’m not COMPLETELY stopping the computer. I blog, I do school, and I read some emails and Instant Messages (although I definitely for sure will not respond to IMs). Surprisingly, only two people sent me their phone number in the last 12 hours (when I posted yesterday’s blog). However, I’m not sure if I have the guts to call anymore. Last night it sounded like a great idea. But now, upon the realization that one of these people (a girl) actually lives near me, my curious little sense of PF (phone fright) is starting to kick in. I- I’m not sure Ic- c- can h- han- an- andle that-t. Oh well, we’ll see what happens. I’m thinking I might be a little shortcutty and set up a computer for AIM’s “voice chat” feature. I think it’ll be a lot easier than using phones, and hey, it beats paying long distance calling card charges! Anyway, I’m still feeling “blah” about everything computerish. I know I’ll hook up my webcam again soon, but I just don’t feel like it. User authentication for blog postings? I’ll probably do that too, but I don’t feel like it. I never thought I’d turn into this. I’ve always been so obsessive about getting things done on the computer. I just don’t really care anymore. Maybe in the time away from it I’ll start to regain my ‘normal’ mental framework regarding the computer work and work work and school work and stuff like that. Ok, new paragraph here.

It’s taking me forever to read this stupid book! I guess I’m not spending much time on it. I’ll spend ten minutes here, fifteen minutes there, once or twice a week. I’m on chapter 51 (of 79) of Koushun Takami’s Battle Royale (the title of the book) and it’s definitely getting better and better. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, Battle Royale is a story (recently translated into English) that I heard was really cool. I found it had a movie and was able to acquire it. (Japanese) The movie was pretty good, but the book is really awesome because you have the advantage of being able to get a deeper story. Instead of things being quickly thrown at you in bits and pieces, the book has the ability to go into detail and spend time developing each character. The translation is also pretty interesting. It’s obvious that the translator is trying to copy the author as closely as he can, but it creates some strangely flowing paragraphs of short and blunt sentences at times. All right, once again, time for a plot overview. A class of students in Japan is randomly selected to participate in the Battle Royale Survival Program. The students think they’re going on a school study trip and are gassed while on the bus. They wake up on an island with metal collars around their necks. They’re told that the collars have explosives in them and are set to detonate if they are tampered with or of they are triggered by an official. The rules are simple. Every student is given an object (binoculars, a pistol, a paper fan, something completely random) that they can use. As for the goal of the game, the students have to try to kill each other off. In 72 hours there can be only one survivor. If there is more than 1 person alive after three days, all of the collars detonate. Also, the island is divided into sections. Every six hours (4 times a day) a new “danger zone” is added. If a student walks into a danger zone, his or her collar instantly detonates. This way the students are forced to keep moving. The ironies that are created are simply amazing. I can’t begin to describe how cool some of these little parts really are. If you’re not a reader, check out the movie. It’s rated the Japanese R-15 (somewhere between PG13 and R for MPAA standards) and is just… it’s a cool movie. My favorite part of the movie is Chigusa’s last few moments. If you haven’t seen the movie yet and would like to, you might not want to read the rest of this paragraph! Also, note that the book’s description of what happens here is not the same as the movie. They had to tone it down in the movie because it was only R-15. Anyway, the basic little story is like this. The girl is finding comfort in running. She has her jogging clothes on and her friend (a guy) is riding a bike beside her with a stopwatch. Light opera music plays in the background. Green trees all around, a nice smooth dark road is beneath them. It’s a really beautiful setting, which adds to the irony of the ultimately morbid reason they’re there in the first place. Both collars are clearly visible. Anyway, light conversation arises. The boy asks “How far can you run?” to which the girl replies “I will always run ahead of you”. The guy smiles and says “Then I will always protect you”. Chigusa smiles and laughs a little (while still running). Then you see a view from the treetops (really cool camera angle) and you see her stop on the side of the road and jog in place and look around her. The guy is gone. A few events happen, and she ends up killing a boy that attacks her (in self defense) but it causes a lot of screaming. A girl (who is an avid player of this “game” and who also has a pistol) is attracted to the sound and watches what happens. Once Chigusa kills the boy she gets up and looks around and sees the girl who was hiding in the bushes. Armed only with a knife, Chigusa turns the other way and sprints off. The girl leaps out of the bushes and starts firing her pistol. One of the shots hits Chigusa in the lower back ripping through her chest, but she continues running. Here, the book spends some time and describes the thoughts that flow through Chigusa’s head as she keeps running… running… without reason or purpose. She knows that she’s going to die, but it doesn’t affect her. She just has to keep running. When she stops, she collapses. This is the cool part. She’s not really dead yet, she’s just too weak to get up. You can see she’s right on the edge of losing consciousness and it’s obvious from the position of the bullet wound that one she slips out of it, she’s not coming back. In the film, you see her thoughts in the traditional Japanese cinema style. (For those of you who don’t watch Asian movies, this is done by fading to a black screen and showing white letters upon the black background, indicating her thoughts in the first person). She prays and asks God for comfort, and seconds later a guy from her class finds her. They only exchange a few words, but the guy acts really nice. She asks him to hold her “it won’t be long now” and he starts to cry. She looks at him, smiles, and says “thank…” and loses consciousness. The guy still holds her, propped up against the wall, crying quietly. The opera music slowly gets louder as the camera zooms out slowly. It’s just… it’s an awesome scene for me. I don’t know why. I think it strikes something in me somewhere, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Hey, I have an idea. I’ll see about putting the clip on the site. Ok, more on that later. By the way, someone (I know) will ask, “but Scott, how does the book differ?” Well, it differs in the way she kills the person who attacks her. The movie shows her wrestle (more like roll down a muddy hill) then stab him five or six times with a large knife. In the book, she pins him down and gouges out his eyes with her fingernails. The craziest part is the book goes into details like how it felt on her thumbs when they were in his sockets. Ok, I know I’m going to get a, “Scott, give me examples!” Well, I won’t do that, but I will tell you that it goes into some detail about the warmth of the blood, the difference of the feeling between the inner eye fluid compared to the blood, the way her fingers feel inside his eye sockets, etc. Yeah, it’s nuts. Anyway, I think I should wrap up this paragraph before I scare everyone off! Oops, too late. Ok, I edited up a little section of the movie so you can see what I’m talking about. I’ll make it downloadable at the bottom of this blog. In fact, I’m done with this blog. So I’ll make it available right here.

DOWNLOAD VIDEO CLIP HERE! Before you can download, you have to read this, ok? First of all this clip isn’t the most “family friendly”. Although I did edit out the stabbings and gunshots and most of the blood and stuff like that, you do see a gun go off and you do hear gasping and you do see some blood etc. So, I wouldn’t flaunt it in front of the 6 year olds (like TheBlackAlbum). Once again, I edited the clip a lot, so it’s only a few seconds here and there of a good ten minute scene. I cut out most of the dialogue to keep it interesting for people who decide to watch it. I know I’ll smack my forehead for putting this up for everyone to see, but hey, I like it! Ok, before you get it know that the subtitles aren’t great (I didn’t do them). Also, I forgot to mention the irony at the end of the scene. The music keeps playing, but the story keeps on going. It doesn’t stop to pause at all. Also, some of the words don’t match up to what I said. I was quoting a different subtitle’d version of the flim. So.. It’s just… whatever. Here: [brgirl.avi]
note: you may need to install [this] if the video doesn’t show up (divx 5.1 codec)

Let me know what you think of the clip!

29 days remaining…

You win; I surrender. To those of you who incessantly pester, annoy, taunt, and try to hurt me: good bye. I’ve had an eerie feeling the last few days. This feeling (of a need to place distance between myself and the outside world) had grown stronger and stronger throughout today. Finally, tonight, upon checking me email inbox… snap. Did you hear that? That was my spine. Listen to me moan and watch me collapse. Although I know I will sound like a very weak person, I have to say that the things I’ve been doing and the things I’ve been exposing myself have taken a [degrading] toll on my mind. Slowly, the strikingly familiar blanket of apathy smothers the aspects of my life… one by one, I can only watch in nostalgia as the very things I care for fizz into nothingness. In short, I’m thinking too much about too much. I need to place more focus on the things that are important. I need to stop exposing myself to people who will influence me negatively. Hopefully, with whatever dignity I have left, I can pull myself together again to a state of order. Though perfect order is impossible to hold on to, I will be able to once again obtain a sense of direction. Ahh, the lovely feeling of purpose flows through the nostrils of opportunity. The days of spring are young. I hope that the warm and gentle breezes blowing over my mind will do me some good. Snap. What was that snap? Oh yes, my back. My back is still broken. I cannot place a band aid over insanity and hope for it to heal. I need to treat it at it’s source. When looking back on my life today, this week, this month, this year, and in all, I can’t help but notice one overwhelming large passionate obsession. I’ll assume you’re reading this via my website, so I know you most likely know exactly what I’m talking about. Rekki. No, Scott doesn’t have a girlfriend. Rekki, the age old name of Scott’s favorite computer, is no longer spoken in Scott’s room. But wait, Scott doesn’t have a “Rekki” anymore now does he? I might even venture so far as to say that Scott’s current computer usage and online activities are based completely upon things that are irrelevant to Scott’s life or future. Favorite? How dare you suggest such a thing? Scott’s beginning to hate computers. Scott’s beginning to hate email. Scott’s beginning to hate talking online. Scott’s beginning to hate being around his computers at all. The fun has been baked out of Scott’s life and responsibility crusts on the edges. Something must be done. A radical change must occur. Scott needs more than a mental reboot. Scott needs a bios clearing. Instead of mentally rebooting by distancing himself from his computers for a day or two, Scott has decided to take this all the way. Is Scott trying to walk away from his frustrated qualms and the simple conflicts between himself and his projects and other people he meets online? No. He is not walking away from anything; he is running with all his strength.

No computer. 30 Days. Blog only. Simple rules, are they not? I think it’s pretty self explanatory. Starting March 22, 2004 I will ‘give up’ the computer. No longer will I be online talking to people or writing software in my spare time. I will only use my computer for basic school work and for blogging. Why? I hope it will give my mind the time it needs to put things back in perspective. Plus, I think this will prove to be an interesting way to learn about myself. Without the computer, what will I do? Will I make something really cool? Will I invent some new product? Will I meet a friend? Will I meet a girl? Yeah, I know, I’m getting ahead of myself. Nonetheless, you can see that I’m leaving. If you’re thinking, “Scott, but you didn’t warn me this would happen!” then don’t feel bad. I didn’t really tell anybody.

Scott, how can I contact you? Email knighthacker@cfl.rr.com (that’s the real address) and make the subject “SCOTT CALL ME”. In the message, tell me who you are (if I don’t already know you). Leave your phone number and a time that I should call. I will call you (with a calling card) and we can talk for a few minutes that way. Why am I doing it on the phone? Well first of all, it weeds out people who don’t really want to talk to me. Secondly, it keeps the conversations lifelike. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get a glimpse at life through the eyes of the rare, “I realize there’s another human on the other side” style thinker. So, you know how to contact me. If you’re hesitating, go on and email me. I won’t feel at all bad calling you. Heck, if I don’t want to call you, I simply won’t call you. Anyway, yeah, that’s how you can contact me.

Scott, what the heck are you going to do for thirty days without the computer? That’s a very good question. In fact, I have no idea what the answer is. This unanswered question is simply another reason why I think it’s a good idea that I do this. I need to start distancing myself. I cannot remain like this forever. I’ve now decided that I’m definitely going to pursue a line of medical work as my profession. I can no longer consider the time that I spend on my computers learning new things “contributive and required for my future success”. Instead, I see these great lengths of time programming and reading as little more than an obsessive hobby. When I get older, when I move away, when I get married, when I have kids… I can not be the way I am now. I can not; I refuse. I will have to change eventually. I don’t see a reason why I shouldn’t “practice” now. All right, you’ve seen me pull an Al Gore in this paragraph. (talk for five minutes and say nothing) The honest truth is… I really don’t know why I’m doing this. I do think that it will be good for me though. I don’t know how it will be good for me, but I think it will be. I can only hope and pray that something good will come out of this. It will certainly be a difficult challenge to endure, but I think that if conquered, it will become an impressive and memorable event. One day, I’m sure, I will look upon these times and chuckle at my own stupidities. But for now? What else can I do. I’ll read. I’ll write. I’ll get out a little. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. And, oh yes, I need all of your help. Don’t entice me to talk to you on IM! Don’t send me emails that I’m supposed to respond to (other than phone information) I’m going to hook up my webcam again soon so you can all watch me and see what I end up doing. Also, I’ll constantly be reading [and adding to, possibly] the comments sections of my posts. I plan to post almost every day for the next thirty days. I’m sure that it will be interesting. Well, it’s late, and I’d best be off. Goodnight everyone, and wish me luck!

30 days remaining…