Archive for February, 2004

I’ll finish tonight’s post later tonight (or early tomorrow morning), but right now I thought I’d take a minute and share with you a quote from a book I’m reading (Koushun Takami’s “Battle Royale”, the novel) because I thought the reference was wonderful:

“Am I going to die? Am I going to die? Like a crummy CD player unable to ignore a scratch on the disk, rigning words skipped over and over deep inside her head. Am I going to die?”

That’s so wrong ^_^

I agree. I’ve let too many days go by since I’ve last written on this page! Dare I suggest the possibility that I, in fact, have been busy with my personal life? Yeah right Scott, like you have a personal life. Stop it! Did you hear that? That’s SITTP talking again. (Scott In The Third Person) You know what’s interesting; we haven’t been hearing much of Scott’s third person lately. Do you realize what I’m doing right now? I’m talking about my self in the third person in the third person. So, what does that mean? Two third persons equal the sixth person? Crazy! I’m talking about myself in the third person. Well, at least it’s nice to know that I’m back here and blogging again, with as much stupidity, dorkness, and unpredictability as ever. Today’s blog will consist of mostly events in my past few days that I will write about, and a little about my thoughts. I miss the days where I seemed to have time to blog two or three thousand words a night. It was then that I was really able to churn out some interesting [relatively, that is] topics and I had so much fun writing these. Now, every time I sit down to write I’m filled with overwhelming guilt for not blogging more often. I guess it’s for the best though. As long as I still blog regularly, then I won’t lose the touch. How awesome it is to have such a thoroughly documented log on your own life!

Oh yeah, let me add one thing real quick. That’s right, I’m adding to this blog 12 hours later. I (because of a lack of wiring) decided to move most of my computers closer together. The end result looks very scary, as it’s six of my monitors strung together in a gentle curve. If you want to see it live, click on the webcam link in the left menu. Now you know!

I was sitting in the hallway waiting for the chemistry lab to open… I (as my obsessive/dork personality bled through the very skin of my better judgment) was almost thirty minutes early. I figured, “Heck, I might as well be a little sociable to pass the time.” To deviate on a quick tangent (a scary thing, this early into a paragraph), I will often prefer to remain in silence when around groups of people. However, if I’m very bored, or uncomfortable, I’ll start trying to make conversation with anyone I can. I’m not sure why, but when I get nervous in groups of people, I start talking more! It’s strange, I know. Now let’s get back to the story. I started a conversation with the girl who was sitting opposite of me in the hallway, and in a few minutes the guy adjacent to me (on my left) joined in. As people walked back and forth in the hallway, our views of each other were constantly being obstructed by peoples’ legs. However, it didn’t seem to affect the conversation at all. Suddenly, a pair of woman’s legs stops right in the middle of the curiously symmetrical triangle of waiting chemistry students. We all look up, only to see her eyes fixed upon none other than myself. She looked to be about mid thirties, maybe early forties. She had lighter brown hair and was dressed quite nicely. I’m assuming she was a higher-up employee at the college. She seemed nice, like the kind of person you wouldn’t mind spending time around. Though these thoughts all raced in my head, less than a second had gone by when she exclaimed “Are you old enough to be here?!” I wasn’t sure if it was a question directed towards me, or an observation she made to herself that just so happened to escape her lips. After a nervous chuckle I sheepishly responded “Why, yes I am.” I tried to take another sip of mountain dew to give myself one and a half seconds to think about what I’d say next, since it was obvious this lady wasn’t going to reply until I spoke again. Through the corner of my eye I could see the girl sitting in the hall opposite of me cover her mouth and try to hide her laughing. “I’m eighteen”, I stated. “Wow, you look really young”, she stated the obvious. I could feel my head churning, searching for an excuse, “I’m a dual enrollment student; I’m in twelfth grade.” “Wow, you look really young”, she repeated, “How many classes are you taking at the college?” Ok, by this point the instinctive (light) embarrassment of being suddenly and unexpectedly put on the spot had vanished and I decided to go on and take this conversation all the way. To bend it as if I were bragging would be pushing it, but I guess it was a subconscious reaction to prove to everyone (the whole world!) that just because I’m a little younger doesn’t mean that I can do any less than anyone else. “I’m in six classes”, I said with great relish, “This chemistry lab puts me at 19 hours; It’s the maximum limit for college students.” After that she gave me some brief praise and we talked a few more sentences back and forth, nothing too significant. After completing the conversation, I watched her walk down the hall. As my head turned back to the left to see if my classmates were still there, I saw them both staring into my eyes. It made me jump, but thankfully I was sitting down Indian style. Then again, the sudden reflex was enough to cause me to spill my mountain dew on the floor (like a five year old). “What the heck was that all about?” I mentally screamed. “Who was that lady?”, the guy next to me asked. “I was hoping you knew”, I reflexively replied. “You mean you don’t know her?” the girl across from me asked. After slowly shaking my head (horizontally, that is), she continued, “Wow, I always wanted to ask you how old you were.” I don’t remember what happened after that, but whatever it was it was of little significance.

The funny thing is, this sort of thing keeps happening. People, random people, will stop and tell me I look young. I think when I was younger (a few years ago) this sort of thing bothered me. In high school, your physical build and maturity was what really set people apart. People were thought highly of if they were really tall, had big muscles, or possessed a Mufasa-like deep voice. (This is CNN) However, I’ve noticed that once I had broken out of the wraps of silly social groups of high school, (most) people judge you by what you can do. People who look older than their age are of little admiration in a setting where so many of their fellow classmates are middle aged men and women who are going back to school. Now, peoples’ images are created based upon their personality and their academic accomplishments. If only it were this way in middle school, what a strangely different person I would have become. However, I’m very happy things have turned out the way they have. The contrast between middle school, high school, home school, and college has given me an awesomely wide range of views on the world and people. Plus, I’m reaching an age where looking young is something that’s beginning to be sought after. I think that I’ll be happy with my “baby face” (as a girl in one of my math classes called it last week) for quite some time. The only disadvantageous side-effect of my looking young is the kind of people (women, specifically) who come up to talk to me. In a group of people of various aged people, I (repetitively) keep attracting 14-16 year old women. Not that that’s a bad thing, but at least at this point in my life, it seems that we have almost little in common; our lives are practically lived on different planets! I much enjoy spending time around slightly older girls these days. They seem to have already passed through the SPIO (smallest problems imaginable obsessive ness) section of their life and have come out as mature, thoughtful, intelligent, yet still fun and interesting people. Does that mean that I only “like” older women? Of course it doesn’t. It means that I would usually rather spend time being around a more (mentally) mature one. So, how does trying to make friends with 20 to 25 year old women work out with me looking 12? It doesn’t. That’s my point ^_^;;

Oh yeah, speaking of Chemistry… Today I got a 100% on a quiz =oD Some of you will look at it and be like “Scott, that’s easy chemistry”, to which I will agree. However, it is only the first few weeks of the class still, and I haven’t had highscool chemistry in many years, and am having to re-learn all this stuff. So shaddup! Let me pretend I’m special =oD I don’t think many people in that class study every day, so it got a lot of them off guard. I know I can’t be the only person in the class who got all the questions right, but I mean, hey, this is a first for me in this class! This is the class, remember now, that actually gave me a little of a struggle a few weeks ago. Now that I’m in the flow and have things tucked away and feel confident about the past work, I’m able to work on it every day so I never get behind. Thus, every class is a new day where I can sit back and learn, and every quiz is another way to prove to myself that I’m making a comback in this class. I will not settle for a B! I will ace this class! I will see to it… Oh yeah, the point of this paragraph. In some of my classes, I’ll scan portions of my books’ problems for people who do/can not have/get a book. I emailed a scan to my lab partner the other day, but I mistyped the url. She stumbled upon my 404 error page, and it dumped her at my site. Today she told me she saw it ::blink:: rarely do I meet people in person who read my website. I always cringe when I hear it, because I never know how closely the person read it. Lots of things, if taken just one sentence at a time, can sound really bad. On the other hand, a sentence taken out of context can make someone else feel really bad. I’m at a near-paranoid level when it comes to having people I know and see every day reading my blog. I’m always careful to try my best in what I write, but oh well. I guess I just need to let it go. After modestly (ok, I lied. After I unmodestly…) flaunted around my perfect quiz, I got a “so why don’t ya’ scan it and put it on your website Scott?” from my lab partner. Well, don’t mind if I do. You asked for it ^_-

Why do my hands keep shaking?! I don’t believe I’ve written about this topic in over a year, but the problem is still with me. It haunts me, following me, stalking me, sliding in my shadows, and slinking in my footsteps. My hands shake, uncontrollably, any time I try to do any detailed work with them. If I’m at the computer typing, or on paper writing, or outside picking fallen acorns out of upside down trash cans (just your average psychopath), I’m fine. It’s only when I try to do intricate, tedious, or detailed work with my fingers that my hands shake badly. Anyone who knows me knows that I have strange scars on my left hand; with new ones that keep forming! The fact is, I do a lot of soldering, and my hand-shaking will cause me to misjudge the distance of the tip and my skin, and… “What’s that smell? Is that… burning flesh?” Needless to say, I’ve had my degree of mild second and third degree burns over the years ^_- Privately, it’s a frustration. For example, a shaking hand caused me to press a soldering iron tip right on the back panel of a small LCD display, ruining a 40$ part! Publicly, it’s become a near embarrassment. For example, when we use the burners in chem. lab, I always have to let my lab partner use the tongs to put the crucible over the fire. I tried to do something as simple as dropping six drops of water in a small container today. Even with one hand holding the top of the dropper and another hand on the base, I was shaking all over the place! It’s starting to get annoying. I have noticed that caffeine does increase the shaking, but it’s only slightly. Also, if I stick my hands out and close my eyes, the shaking stops. My doctor told me that this was a small chemical imbalance on the brain, and when I try to focus on controlling my hands, they shake. There’s not much I can do beside implanting a small electrode inside of my brain and having it stimulated every time I want to do something detailed. This is a little too much for me, so I think I’ll just stick to trying to cope with my problem. As long as I’m ok with a few burns and lost equipment, and as long as my lab partner remains understanding helpful, this should prove to be no immediate problem =o)

I NUKED my whole computer! I can’t believe it, I’m such an idiot. I wasn’t thinking how obsessive I was becoming… I was trying to fix my advanced Linux sound architecture (ALSA) system and I couldn’t get the driver modules to load into my kernel properly. I started redoing more, and more, and more, and before I really realized the full extent of what I was doing, I had already erased my entire main workstation (with minimal backups). Although I have enough saved to be able to jumpstart the aimpoo2 and other projects I was working on, it might take a good week to get my system back up and running. As you can see in my web cam, I only am using one monitor. Do you know how hard it is to get all three cards working together in X for a tri-monitor desktop!? I’m thinking of keeping it at one, and setting up two more computers. That way, I’d still have three monitors, but I’d have three mice and keyboards too. Thus, I would then be capable of true multitasking. Possibly, I’ll be able to reach my ultimate goal of being able to type on two keyboards at the same time. Anyway, if I’m not on AIM for great lengths of time, or I’m slow in responding to email, or my web cam is acting funny, you can blame it on my main workstation – or the lack of it thereof!

I’d better start studying for a test tonight, but before I go I want to let you all know that I’ve uploaded a new song under the songs section of the left menu. This song of one of my favorites! For those of you who don’t know much about me, I listen to primarily Japanese and Korean (contemporary) music. I don’t know why I like it so much, but I will admit it’s the best thing for me. When I’m in my room, usually hours on end, trying to do a thousand things at once, I can’t listen to fast music or I’ll burn out. I love listening to softer music that soothingly peaceful. I almost never listen to music if a man’s voice in it (something about guys singing softly to me gives me the creeps) so I stick to the light-voiced female vocal stuff. Some people tell me that my music preferences are stupid, and that they’re just done for attention. Someone else told me that they can’t believe I share that information publicly, for it seems so embarrassing. One girl just last week even said “You’ll never get a girlfriend listening to that junk.” It’s interesting, all the strife it causes. But, hey, it’s what I really like, and I don’t feel any need or pressure to change what I listen to or keep quiet about it just because some people think it’s weird. And to reply to that girl who brought up the girlfriend thing, “If the difference between alone and being in a relationship lies within the selection of music I listen to, oh what a depressingly shallow relationship that would be.” So, that but behind us, spend a minute of download time and listen to one of my favorite Korean songs, “Sky”. I hope you like it. Leave comments telling me what you think! And with that, I’m out of here. It was nice to blog again, you all take care. –Scott

I’m a failure. I’ve stopped blogging daily. Wow, I’m at two a week. That’s depressing. Maybe I need to change the way I do things? Oh well, tomorrow’s a Wednesday, and I’ll have time to write then.

Did you know that some people actually go to the library to research? Ha! Losers. Here I sit, yet again, nostalgically reminiscing in the memories of past days writing my blogs from these places. The wonderful sounds of rustling echo all around me. The fragrant smells of backpacks and body odor drift through the room. Ahh yes, the bug-infested keyboards with pieces of food and hair stuck between their half broken keys. So, I’m sure you’re asking, “Scott, why are you sitting there?” Well, I’m glad you asked, because I’m just about to tell you.

I’m trying to kill time. This semester, none of my classes are spaced apart. They’re either back to back (no waiting) or on different campuses (driving). Yet here I sit trying to kill time. You see, I just got out of a math class that ended at 9:30am. I wanted to stop by my Chemistry teacher’s office to check some homework I did and hopefully make a little contact with the guy. He seems like a nice man (he is my favorite teacher this semester) and I’m sure it’d be nice to make some contact. Who knows? Maybe he’ll even feel sorry for me and my crummy test and give an extra point for effort? That’d be all I need to have a nice B on that test. Then again, an 80 doesn’t average in very well, but every point helps. He doesn’t get In his office until 10:30am (at least that’s the time that he posted on his door) so I decided I’d come here and start rambling about the stupidities of my day so far (even though it’s only been 3 and ½ hours of it)

I saw something at school and was like “wow, I have to blog about this!” If you haven’t read the comments of two days ago, you should. It dealt with the various issues of and associated with opening doors for women in public. I was walking from math class to my chemistry teacher’s office and I was going to take a shortcut through a building. I was approaching the big double glass doors. There was another guy (about 24 year old, if I had to guess) who was right in front of me. We were both heading toward the door. A few seconds before we got to the door, we both noticed three girls (early 20s, I’d guess) about to go out the same doors we were going to go in. They were inside, we were outside. The doors open outward. I’m sure that you’re all like “Scott, what did the girls look like?” Come on! How shallow is that? You won’t open a door for an unattractive girl, but you’ll open the door for a pretty woman? Anyway, the man politely stopped, stepped to the side, and opened the right glass door all the way for the girls to walk through. All three girls just looked at him, and proceeded to go to the OTHER glass door, push it open themselves, an walk through it. Why did they do this!? Were they threatened or offended by this man’s (what I thought to be very nice) action? Some comments on this would be nice =o)

Ok, time to head back to class. Later!

Oh no, did I just quote Mary Poppins? I do believe I did. Wow, the scariness of starting a blog late at night is a thought that’s slowly drifting over the back of my head. However, as the mists of partial sanity hover over my halfway shutdown brain, the other half remains partially awake and able to function on it’s own. Thus, you will have your blog tonight. And yes, it will not be very logical. I can feel the tiredness sweeping over my body in great waves. Is this what it’s like to be kept awake against your will? What torture it would be to be forced to stay awake for great lengths of day. How awful it would be if the rest of your life depended on how well you could function late at night doing heavy amounts of strenuous mental work. Oh yeah, they do have that, it’s called night classes. Well, I feel myself already diverting onto a tangent, so I’d best stop the smalltalk and get right down to the blog. Today’s blog will be just facts about me. I’ll try to skip the extra fluff and ideas and junk. So, here you go, a blog in the express lane.

So what’s your reason for not blogging this time Scott?” I would say that it was schoolwork that held me back by the very claws of it’s dreadfulness, but I’d be lying through my teeth. The fact is that I brainwashed myself into thinking that dire consequences would happen if I didn’t hurry up and finish writing software. That’s right, I’ve been putting my blogging time into aimpoo2. It’s sad, I know, but it’s true. At what point am I going to be able to stop obsessing over the stupid little projects I’m working on and take some time and do the things that I’ve wanted to do continuously for the long term. However, now that AimPoo2 is working pretty well, and that I even have some help on the documentation / tech support side of it, I think I’ll be able to sit back nice and cozy and start doing the important things in life. That’s right! I’m talking about priorities. I need to start getting out less, and sitting in front of the computer more. Ok, that wasn’t even funny. I guess that’s my cue to go to the next topic. And oh what an unfathomable deviant this is to my normal line of blogging topics.

So I’m talking with my friend about girls… I know, crazy, right? Well it was late, and we were both trying to communicate in our state of sleep-induced (or lack thereof) delirium. We started talking about random people that we thought were ‘hot’ in the past. It’s so funny to look back on now, but when I was young (I’m thinking 11ish?) I used to watch that show “The Crazy World of Alex Mac” (or something like that) on Nickelodeon. Do you remember that show? I barely do. It had something to do with a girl getting infected in a chemical spill and it gave her powers to move objects and turn into quicksilver and slide around places and then turn back into herself. It was the dumbest show now that I think about it, but I thought that girl was so hot XD I’ll have to google for a pic eventually. I know I’m going to get made fun of for weeks for coming out with this one, but oh well. So, I’m talking with this kid and all the sudden I blurted out that I thought Himalayan womens’ eyes were really pretty. It was an Asian/Indian mixish uniqueish kinda… I dunno. I don’t know why I said it, but I just did. So then the guy’s like “I can’t say that I can picture any Himalayan women right off the top of my head” So, naturally, we both head over to google and perform an image search for Himalayan women. For some strange reason, we couldn’t find much. I guess the Internet isn’t a big thing in Himalaya. Anyhow, we did manage to find one picture. (pictured here). I was like, “There, there’s an example” and he replied, “dude I was looking at the same pic before you sent it to me!” I don’t remember how the chain of events went, but he ended up saying “wow, she is hot.” I thought he was joking and played a long for a while, but when I realized he was serious I started laughing so hard. Who does this kid think he is? I pick one obscure reference to a place in the world so strange as to not even have pictures of it’s people on the Internet, and all the sudden this kid’s like “wow she’s hot”! What, the world ain’t big enough for the both of us!? Plus, I didn’t necessarily say she was hot. I said that I thought her eyes were cool. There is a difference. I doubt I’ll be taking a trip to Himalaya any time soon, it’s mighty cold over there, and I’m a little Florida boy. However, if anyone knows any nice and available Himalayan women 18-24… pfft… like that’d ever happen…

Ok, school update. I’ll start with my classes and how I’m doing in them in chronological order from Monday to Friday. First off, I have a math class. The woman professor is so nice. No, it’s not like you’re thinking. I mean… well… yeah, ok yeah maybe a little like that. But she’s married already! She has a son too. Anyway, she’s a great teacher in my opinion because she doesn’t require us to do much work, but gives us lots of things we can do if we want to practice. Since I can just see math and have it click in my mind, this is awesome for me. I just grab a tea (mm… AriZona green tea with gensing and honey!) and sit back and relax in this class. Since it’s a morning class, it’s a great way for me to kick off my mondays. Then, Monday night, I have my world lit class. The professor in here is a spacey guy who opens most of his classes with “so how are you all feeling today” or “does anybody feel enchanted?” The funniest thing was last week. Actually, no, I’m not going to say it because I’d actually feel a little bad if he somehow found this page and read it. It wasn’t anything bad, it just might be a little sad. All right, Next class on Tuesday mornings is Chemistry. Duh duh DUH! [spooky music here] This is my toughest class this semester. I know [mostly] That I’m going to be able to pull A’s in all of my classes this semester… except this one. This one is feeling like a B to me, but the moment I shoot for a B, my grades will go down. So, I’ll keep aiming for that A! The class simply requires work and some foreknowledge of chemistry. The work I can do, the foreknowledge I’m having to re-learn. (It’s been so long since I last had a chemistry class!) However I have a really nice [and sane, most of the time] lab parter who (usually) seems like she wants to do well in the class, so I’m able to do a little bit with her that way. Tuesday nights I have another math class. This one’s pretty easy still. I had a test last Thursday. I think I got a 106% on it. We’ll see though, won’t we. Thursday night I have macroeconomics. The teacher for this class is crazy! He drinks two diet cokes during each (3 hour) class. He also downs two or three rolls of breath mints every hour! This guy is amazing. I think that he must have vending machine in his house or something. I don’t think he’s married, but I’m not sure. I wouldn’t want to say this professor’s voice sounds like Pee Wee Herman’s, but it’s somewhere of a cross between his and Christopher Lowell’s. Finally, Friday afternoon, I have a computer programming class. This one is easy, and actually [somewhat] enjoyable. I got a minute last week to share with the professor and the class about python. I (thankfully) didn’t go into details like, “oh yeah, I’m writing cross platform mainframe password brute forcing hacking software in python.” So, that about sums it up. I’m feeling pretty good about it all, but always a little anxious about Chemistry. Oh well, we’ll see how it goes.

It’s late, and I just got over a cold, so I’m tired. I’d best be heading off to bed. I’ll lave you all to comment your strange comments. Thank you all for your comments on the last post; lots of them were very insightful. They made me think a little bit. Although there’s a lot of opposition to my beliefs about guy/girl mannerisms, it’s nice to know that there are some other people out there that agree with my politeness habits and, dare I say, respect me for it? Well, I’m outta here. You all got your blog you asked for. Have a nice day. -Scott

Despite the common notion that I have no life (which turns out to be true), I do occasionally get so wrapped up in responsibilities that I don’t have time to do all of the things I want to do (like blogging every day). However, this isn’t the case of the mysteriously absent previous three days’ blogs. I was simply being an idiot, and put my time into other less important things (like writing software). However, in apology, I present myself here for you today, and honestly intend to make up for my lack of posts by writing a beautiful post today. So, to begin yet another entry about the interesting lifelessness of the mysteriously semi-anonymous, I’ll describe in a nutshell some of the various topics I will cover today. First off, I think I’ll captivate my (peculiarly yet, expectedly impatient) audience with a shocking story. The kind that, given a few more minutes, would have made the news and newspapers of central Florida. Then, the story would have risen to the state level. From there, it’s own momentum would have carried me to make national news, global stories, and possibly even an interview with Oprah.

“You got hit on by WHO!?” Wouldn’t you like to know? I’m sure you would. However, before I can answer your silly (and grammatically incorrect) question, I must give a little background. You may think that I’m purposefully withholding what could be a quick one word answer from you. If you are thinking this, then you are absolutely correct! I figure that getting hit on by a girl is such a rare event in my daily life that I’ll spend some time and beautifully illustrate it with my imaginative use of words. Plus, I’d much rather you have to read a small fraction of what I write, instead of briefly skimming it. So, to begin. I go to college (early, dual-enrollment) and am in six classes at the moment. This makes my third semester (counting the last summer) and I’m working toward a certain goal. I have all the classes I need written down in the order I think I can take them, with all the prerequisites accounted for and time frame perfected. This sheet of paper shows each semester and all the classes I will take that semester. I decided to meet with an adviser at the college so I could get a ‘professional’ to look at my sheet and see if it would work out. (I certainly don’t want to waste time taking classes I wouldn’t need!) So, I walk in the advisory office and talk to the lady at the front desk. She says she’ll get one and that I should wait for a few minutes until the adviser is ready to meet with me. So, I do just this. I sit down by the tv and watch “You’ve Got Mail” (the movie) for fifteen minutes. Finally, I ask myself “OK, why the heck isn’t my adviser out yet?” About this time, I lookup to see if anything has changed and the front desk lady notices my action and double checks on the adviser. A minute or two later a woman pops out of a side door and says “Scott Harden?”, to which I relieve “that’s me.” I get up and start walking down the hall to her office. She looks to be around her late twenties, early thirties. She seemed nice. “Thank you for waiting so nicely! I didn’t get the message you were out here, I’m so sorry”, she said with a cheerful attitude and a kind voice as we neared the office. She motioned with her hand that “this” was her door. I instinctively opened the door for her and let her go in first (more on this in another paragraph). “Aww, you’re so nice”, she said as she walked around to the other side of her desk. I briefly stated that I wanted her to look over my plan, and tell me if she thought it would work out nicely. She then asked “OK, do you have your transcripts with you?”, to which I replied, “I didn’t bring my transcripts, but I did bring this.” I then pulled out my neatly-typed paper of all the semesters I will be at that college with every class under it’s respectively planned semester. I placed it gently on the desk and slid/spun it around to her side of the desk so it was upright. She started to ask “What’s thi-”, when she realized what it was and exclaimed, “oh my gosh you’re so organized!” “Yeah, well, I just don’t want to mess up something this important”, I replied (in excuse). “No, really, this is good! I wish you could be my husband.” Did I hear that correctly? Naw, I couldn’t have. I know she didn’t just say she wishes I were her husband. I must have misunderstood her. She then said, “I’ll go get a list of the required classes” as she got up and headed for the door. I noticed that due to my positioning in the room, I was blocking the door. I naturally stood up and backed up so she could get to the door “aww, you’re so sweet” she said. She left, returning about 45 seconds later with the paper. She then looked at my the paper and compared it to the list of required classes for my degree. She started matching the classes by crossing them off on my list. After a minute, all of the names on the list were scratched off, but she looked at my sheet in puzzlement. “You are taking a lot of classes you don’t need to take for this degree”, she said. “Oh, yeah, I know. See here, the time it takes to get my degree is limited by the number of maths I have to take. So, since I’m going to have to take these classes anyway in the future, I’d might as well go on and take them now and get the cerdit so I can have a lighter load after I switch colleges.” The look of amazement that was on her face slowly bent up in a smile as she paused while saying “Wow… wow you’re so smart! You plan ahead so much. I wish I could marry you.” Ok, yeah, that was weird. Did I hear that right? I think I did. And earlier? Ok, freaky. I’ll just ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. So I continued “Ok, well thanks for looking it over, I just wanted to make sure it’s all good.” She smiled and said “Aww you’re so cute.” Ok, yeah, so by now I’m like “wow… the college adviser is hitting on me!” Instead of thinking about how this might resolve, I just saw there and thought “wow, I’m so blogging this.” I was about to go, but then she said “Oh yeah, one more thing Scott.” I glanced back at her as she pointed to her computer screen. “You should go to the main office to get them to remove your duel enrollment status from your name”, she said. “But, I am a dual enrollment student. I’m still in high school”, I replied. “Oh my you are so mature!” I almost said “So aren’t you going to ask me to marry you this time?”, but I bit my lip and managed a smile, “Thanks. I thank you for your time, I’ll be sure to come back if I have any questions.” So, that’s my story. I should have gotten her number [insert evil grin here]. I never thought I’d write this publicly, but it amused me too much to keep quiet =o)

I said I’d talk about this later. Well, it’s later, and now I’m going to talk about it. Lots of people these days [girls] misjudge my simple politeness for trying to hit om them. I just… I don’t know why I do it so much. I’m a dork XD Opening doors for women; the perfect example. It’s still common enough that if I open a door for a girl, she knows I’m not trying to hit on her. However, I’ve gotten some really surprising (to me, at least) reactions from people in the last few years. Usually, the harshest I get is a stuck-up chin-away (where they turn to you and almost make eye contact, only to thrust their head in the other direction. It’s like… wow… you’re welcome? I don’t know, has it become rude or unacceptable to do these things anymore? /sigh/ I have this hypothesis. I know it doesn’t apply to everyone, but I’m sure it applies to lots of people. I things that lots of people [even those of 'younger' generations] would enjoy some time spent with the mannerism and customs of the 40s and 50s. Think of how it was back then. Compare the commonplace relationships and respect given between guys and girls. People dressed nicely to go places. High school dances had swing bands, and people seemed to act nicer in general. /sighs again/ I’m so strange. Nostalgic for an era I never even lived in… pathetic.

People think I’m a skater! I know! Can you believe it? Oh, you can? You think I’m one too! Ok, let me explain. People judge others by the stereotypes of others who appear the same. Thus, people who wear all black and have a hundred body piercings are generally thought of in the same line. Likewise, people who wear tie-die-everything are also grouped into their own category. I wear a lot of quiksilver and billabong clothes. People who call themselves “skaters” wear many of the same things I do. Thus, people conclude that I fall into this category. Well, actually, I don’t even buy my clothes. My sister (14) loves the mall. I give her money, and she goes and buys me shirts and pants and stuff. If when she comes home they don’t fit, it just gives her another excuse to go back. Naturally, the clothes I end up wearing are those she selects. So, her preference in guys’ clothes ends up being the end result of what I wear. Now you know. Make sense? A little? That’s good. Oh, you think it’s dumb? Well, OK, it is a little. But look at it from my side. The moderately introverted eighteen year old teenage male who hates the mall gets to sit in his room and get his shopping done for him. It works out just fine for me ^_^

“Scott, I’ve been watching your web cam, and you aren’t reading your book anymore!” Oh yeah, I almost forgot about my book. In case you haven’t been keeping up on my writings (if you’re the kind of person that, you know, has a LIFE) I’m reading a book that came highly recommended. It’s the novel version of Koushun Takami’s book “Battle Royale” (translated into English, of course). I read a little of it here or there, but not in large chunks anymore. I need to start again! My schoolwork has been slightly overloading this past week (I couldn’t even find time to blog the last three days!), but I think I’ll be able to make up for it over the next few days. I really like the book so far because of the way the story is expressed. The story is told through mind of forty people. In short, they’re all dying one by one. You never know who is going to die, so you can’t figure out what’s going to happen. Every few paragraphs, the point of view changes, and it’s awesome to see how people think things of other people. I love the way that the author (or should I say, the English translator) uses this unique perspective as a way to give us more information into the mind of each character. Instead of a dull narrative, each character’s thoughts are molded to fit his or her personality. For an example, the “class clown” thinks of jokes in his head as these horribly morbid things happen (which are written on the paper), then thinks “what a horrible time to tell a joke.” That wasn’t necessarily a really good example, but it was an easy one to show in a few sentences. So far, the book is ‘all right’. There are a few really nice ‘hinted thoughts of love’ that balance out the overly detailed violence that is embedded deep within the plot of the story. If you want to check out the story, the movie is out (in Japanese), I suggest you watch it instead.

While we’re talking about movies… I ended up re-watching an old favorite because.. I’m.. a dork XD If you haven’t seen it, “Lovers Concerto” was a movie that’s really cool to watch with somebody else. (It’s depressing to watch alone!) It does so many things right in a movie. The plot is wonderful, the lines are thoughtful, and the acting isn’t emphasized as the situations are. I.. can’t.. really describe it well. The movie was made in South Korea, so we’re talking about the whole Korean cinematography and style of movie making. If you want to see a good romance / drama, you should definitely check this one out. Ok, now Ii know I’m going to get attacked on this one. “Scott, you’re an eighteen year old guy, what the heck are you doing watching romantic dramas? – Foreign ones at that!” Well, I can’t really answer the question, but I can say that I much enjoy them because the stories are deeper than the so-often shallow American movies that leave you after a few hours. This movie stuck with me, and I find myself thinking about it all the time. Two of my favorite scenes stick in my head so often. The first one was when Kyung-hee is sitting on a small fluffy green motorized toy dinosaur and yells “Oh no it’s a cop!” at Ji-hwan ^_^ I don’t know why it strikes me as funny, but it gets me every time. The other one, that I really love, comes near the end. It’s a flashback. There is a boy in the hospital that looks to be around five or six years old. He has brain cancer. He is bald from the treatments, but they are failing. He is going to have “one last operation” that everybody knows he will most likely not survive. They show four doctors rolling his stretcher/bed down the hallway of the hospital to the operating room with the covers of his bed up to his neck. He doesn’t look sad, or happy, he just looks… tired (the best word I can think of to describe it). Then, one of the doctors signals “stop for a second” and he looks down at the boy’s bed. He slowly pulls down the sheet, and a small girl (his best friend) is curled up beside him asleep, holding his hand. I thought that was an awesome little addition to the story ^_^

Well, I’m off to class. Thursday nights are hard for me. I have to sit through five hours of incredibly boring classes. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll mange. I’ll leave in about ten minutes. That gives me just enough time to snap a screen shot of that movie scene. Well, comment your thoughts, but please be kind, all right? Thanks. I’m sure I’ll post again soon. Good day, everyone!

that’s right. AimPoo2; now written in python! Advantages? It’s a script, so it’s always 100% open source. It runs on windows. It runs on mac. It runs on Linux. It runs in a console. It can be used remotely over telnet. It can be used remotely over ssh. It is easier to code than the old compiled version. Since the source is open, anyone can modify it to change their needs. If they make improvements, they can send them to me and I can implement them. AimPoo2 will be written in python, so it’s really fast to get in there and change the code. Of course, AimPoo2 will be completely free as always. Isn’t Scott a nice guy? I’m gonna get back to work coding my script to let people like you hack 3 letter screen names. At the current rate, I already have a few pages of code written that can sign on a name and determine if it works or not. Now, I simply have to automate it. I don’t see how it could be much longer from this point. Give me your encouragement, for I could use it! But hold off on your ideas for the moment; I have to finish making the backbone first. If you have comments, let me know. I’m sure I’ll get both praised and scorned for my selection of programming languages. The reason for python? The same reason I wrote AimPoo in the first place: I just want to learn something new ^_^

Dang, today was really boring… and of all days!? Oh yes, I wasn’t going to let myself stumble into the bottomless pit of that topic again. I got all that fun stuff out of my system yesterday. Tonight’s blog will be purely about things not relating to SAD (singles awareness day) itself, but rather what happened today, and what I think about things. So, where to start? Oh yeah, I guess I already started. Today was boring. I couldn’t find much to do. I did a little bit of homework. I even watched a little TV (for the first time in forever) Then I got infested by newbishness (more on this later). And now, well now I’m listening to a Korean radio station on the edge of my seat from song to song /so I can hear the DJ/ (more on this later) while googling for pictures of Himalayan women (definitely more on this later). I don’t think today’s article will be at all sad or depressing. It will dodge the fact that lots of people live boring lives, and that we’re just going to grow old and die some day. I hope you enjoy it.

Ok, as if that weren’t the spookiest thing ever. I’m here in the dark typing my blog. It’s a little creepy, because the music is temporarily paused and I every thing’s quiet. There’s a slight hum of multiple computer fans spinning, but other than that it’s silent. It’s dark too. Other than my monitors, I can’t see beyond hand’s reach from my chair. My window (to my right) is about four feet wide and eight feet high. The blinds are wide open. I can peer out into the blackness, but the blackness is all I can see. All the sudden, I saw movement out my window. I turned my head to look, but after looking at the monitors, I could see nothing because my eyes were not yet dilated enough. As my retinas retracted, I could slowly see what resembled two dots about at my waist level. Then I realized… those… those are eyes… there’s a man down there! I started to shrug off the idea when suddenly the eyes moved and glanced at me from a different direction. After relieving myself in my pants, I remained frozen in a state of shock. I decided to play the tough guy and start to swing a punch at the eyes. When my knuckles hit the glass, I saw the eyes turn the other way. Then I saw a cat leap from the windowsill. “Whoa, I’ve got to blog about this”, I thought to myself, “…after I change my pants.”

Scott, ce0 you to 100% again? Yeah. What a newbie. SOMEONE must have been all alone on Valentine’s day =op His aim handle is ce0 (that’s a zero) but you may remember him as the former “TheBlackAlbum”. I must say, even I am surprised at how stupid the whole thing has become. The guy got mad from his own stupidity and started to take it out on me. Yay, now my warning is 100%, I can’t talk to anyone on my screen name (RTS), and the person who caused all of it is… well ok, he’s totally screwed. I’m sure you’re interested as to hear what happened. In a nutshell, he’s a lamer newbie who pretended to me to know what he was doing and asked me how to do something and I told him step by step how to do it then he got all mad at me because it didn’t do what he expected. I’ll let you know that I saved a snippet of the conversation in the quotes page, in case you’re interested. So, what happened? Well, he’s like “yo Scott, I want to install Linux and I need to erase windows, how do I erase windows?” So, more or less, I walked him through how to make a boot disk and run format c: with it. Then he got all mad at me when he realized he erased his computer. It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t lie to him one bit! Well, ok, maybe once I was a little unclear. I mentioned “… to make your hard drive just like new.” Everyone knows that new hard drives have nothing on them, don’t they? So, as he was formatting I realized that he had no clue what he was doing. Then I pretty much gave up on the guy (he got a little annoying) and when he was asked to enter the drive label, I told him to type in “OWN3D”. That’s when he figured it out and got all crazy about it. He (or his friends?) in his/their newbishness ran a little program to warn buddy icons. My buddy icon (mini-kenshin) has been “stuck” ever since I got this SN, so I haven’t been able to remove it, thus it was repeatedly warned until it got to 100%. I’m going to spend a little time tomorrow to write a silly little (python-based, I’m guessing) script to let me sign on to aol’s TOC servers manually and I’ll try to hand-rest my buddy icon file. Now why in the heck does AOL save your buddy icon, but not your profile? I don’t get it. Ok, well, there’s little more to see here. Ce0 is a total newb. He even asked me to take his SN off my website. Then, when I tried to have that arranged, he 100%-warned the two temp. screen names my messengers were on. Such a moron. It could have been arranged too. Things like this makes me sad; what kind of unsuccessful man will come from such an ignorant boy if he doesn’t start changing soon?

Oh well, I’m tired. I’m cranky. And dang it, I need to go to sleep. This is a bad thing I’m about to do, but oh well. I mentioned that I’d talk about Korean DJ and Himalayan women tonight. Well, I’ll tell you… and in the shortest sentences imaginable! I was listening to a Korean DJ on a [Korean] streaming radio station because her voice was soft and flowing and great background sound to work to. I was also in mid-conversation with someone about Himalayan women and what I thought about them. So what? Their eyes are pretty ^_^ Ok, I’d best go. Goodnight, everyone. Happy Valentine’s day.

Oh the decisions! I’m not sure what I should blog about this afternoon. I have a little time and want to write something, but I can’t decide what! I’ve been flirting with a few ideas, but none of them seem that interesting. I could simply write a ‘normal’ blog, but where’s the fun in that? Plus, that would take too long. I’d much rather write about something deep, fascinating, thought provoking, and inspiring! Sure, I have my little note card(s) of “to blog” ideas, but none of them seem interesting anymore. Ahh yes, I’ve got it. Valentine’s day. Someone recently told me that this Saturday (tomorrow) is Valentine’s day. I didn’t even know it was February! Nonetheless, Valentine’s day is tomorrow and what could possibly be a more fun or relevant topic for me to write about!? Ok, maybe not fun, but at least it’s relevant. Well, buckle your seat belts and hold on tightly to the side rails. If you read it, you should comment on it and share your thoughts! I have no idea where this post will go, so be prepared for the unexpected…

I hate Valentine’s day! It is the one day of the year that singles out singles. It seems as if this day were devised to cause single guys and girls to stand alone and watch everyone else have all the fun. Not only are you alone, but you’re alone on Valentine’s day! Quite possibly the most depressing thought known to man, this idea is rubbed in your face wherever you go. Walk around a high school and you see little hearts everywhere. Go in a crowd of people and wherever you look you see boys, girls, men, and women exchanging little red and white hand made cards with hears on them. Then there’s the inescapable proverbial image of a guy buying his girl a heart shaped box of chocolates and handing it to her (most romantically, of course) with a bouquet of flowers and a small kiss. At times like this, the stereotypical single will try to justify their singleness in his or her own mind. They usually come up with a plethora of excuses from “I don’t like cards” to “flowers just die eventually”, not to mention the inescapable fact that “chocolate just causes acne anyway.” After thinking about the advantages of being single and the disadvantages of being coupled with somebody, one might stop and reflect upon themselves and the position they are in. “Hey, why am I like this anyway?” Although Valentine’s day could be a very happy and romantic time for couples, it comes at a price for others who are single. All you can do is sit around and watch all the beautiful people enjoy themselves. What is to happen to the guy or girl who admires someone in silence, only to see them snatched by somebody else because he hesitated for so long? What happens when you buy a single red rose and honestly intend to give it to someone, only to find out that you can’t give it to them because they already have a “valentine”? Then, with little else to do, would you stand in a crowd of people and give your rose to a random person who looks lonely, only to turn around and run the other way? Standing alone with a rose might seem like a sad image at first, but if you stop and think about it, it can actually be a sign of a pretty nice person. Is it not considered more respectable to wait alone in silence with a rose rather than find a person who’s simply willing to say “yes”, only to exchange shallow gifts and words? I think highly the man who holds-out and waits patiently for “the right one” to come along. Valentine’s day promotes couples, but I know some very nice singles that need to be recognized! Wouldn’t it be a great idea to have an Anti-Valentine’s day recognizing singles? Unlike Valentine’s day, Anti-Valentine’s day would not make the opposite party (couples) feel bad, but rather spend a day in recognition of those who are waiting to find their perfect match. This holiday could also be constructive in the sense that singles could meet other singles and get to know each other better! Spending time with close friends (especially those of the opposite sex) can be such a fun and enjoyful experience, and that’s what these two days should be all about! People have to be careful not to get stuck in the superficial shallowness of the date and title. Stop and think about what’s really going on! What’s so special about sharing your appreciation on Valentine’s day? You should share it with the ones you love every day! What a sad and boring relationship it would be if it were devoid of these simple qualities except for one day a year! Valentine’s day is simply another day of the year. For those who are coupled, it’s an excuse buy, trade, and eat some good chocolate. For singles, it’s a time to be happy for who you are and enjoy thinking of the future (while keeping an eye out for the lonely looking guy or girl girl who seems to be in the same predicament as yourself; After all, you probably will have a lot of free time this day). Although it may seem a little unfair in it’s bias toward couples, it can still be enjoyed by everyone! After all, there’s no shame in eating a box of heart shaped candies by yourself ^_^

Craziness! As you may have seen on my webcam I was studying all day today! Today was my first really big school work day of this semester. I have five tests in two days (3 of them tomorrow) and I’m trying to go ever each subject deeply enough that I know I will do well. Both math tests I feel confident with. A programming test will be no sweat. Tomorrow morning I have a Chemistry test. I’m afraid I feel a B coming on. I didn’t know what this guy was expecting from us near the beginning, but it’s become more clear now. I didn’t have as much time to [properly] prepare for the test, but I think I can do well. I’ll shoot for a solid A but not be too surprised if I get a B. I know I will be able to pull up my grade on the next test(s) now that I know how he teaches. You can tell this is bothering me, huh? Yeah, B is for bad. I don’t like B’s. In fact, B’s are BS. ^_^ I would like to be in bed in half an hour, so I’ll do a light blog tonight.

I’d like to start by thanking my friend Rei. Due to some server changes, my entire website was erased and a backup was stamped on the web server so it was more or less the same as before, with one exception. The backup was created about 16 hours before the site was erased. The only thing that changed in that time was a blog post and a couple of comments. But wait, oh no! I lost the blog post! Ahh! That had come to be one of my favorite posts too! I talked about so many fun things! (If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, you should.) Anyway, I was desperate to think of a way to get it back. I didn’t want to retype it (I didn’t think I had it in me to do it justice) so I stopped and devised an idea. I threw a message to my pal Rei (my assistant writer of AimPoo!) and told him not to go to my website until he IMed me! I told him what had happened and he was able to go in windows’ temporary for storing website caches and pull out the old version he still happened to have sitting on his computer. Wow, Internet Explorer’s website caching habit actually did something good for once? Crazy! Caching websites on your hard drive is a bad idea by the way… I don’t use Internet Explorer. I don’t use windows. Woohoo! (Click on the ‘desktops’ section on the left menu to see what I do use). All right, I’m getting off subject. Okay, I say Rei saved the day in his own particular way (no help to Ebay, valentine Fay, or horse hay, neigh?)

So I’m doing math homework tonight and I start laughing. I read a math problem that sounded something like this: “A 6 foot man stood 13 and ½ feet away from a mirror and noticed that the top of the mirror was 39.1 degrees above the horizon…” The rest of the problem was simple and easy to solve, but it left me with one burning question. Who the heck looks in a mirror and notices that the top of it is 39.1 degrees above the horizon! Wow, there are some sick people out there if this is the case. Actually, this isn’t the end of the strangeness. You know what I think is wrong? Those train problems you all had in Algebra. You know, “Two trains are 50 miles apart when one train starts on the left and heads right at 30 miles per hour while at the same time another train starts on the right and heads left at 20 miles per hour. At what time will the trains collide?” Oh, that’s good. I feel safe now. Some man was watching the news and heard a story about two trains colliding and thought to himself “hey, wouldn’t that make a fun math problem for a class room full of 8′th graders?” And my question is what the heck is math book writers’ obsession with trains? Who in the heck rides trains anyway. It should be airplanes, cars, or space shuttles. (Ok, that was wrong.) You know what I want to see? Bikers. That’s right, bikers! “… at what time will the two bikers run into eachother?” Who cares? It’d be hilarious to watch!

I’m a klutz. Tonight around ten thirty I decided I needed a break from my homework. Tomorrow morning I was planning on getting gas, but I decided it’d be a nice little break to go get it tonight. On the way back home, I parked the car, turned the lights off, locked it, closed the door, opened the garage, closed the garage behind me, stood in front of the door to the house, and opened it right into my face. The pull-to-open door was thrust toward my eyebrow. I, being the quick one I am, noticed what was happening. “Hey, I can break the force of the door to my eye by sticking my hand between the two!”, I thought to mself. I raised my hand with lightning-quick reflexes just in time to have it reach my cheek when the door hit. Now, I have a red mark on my hand, a red hand mark on my cheek, and a really bad looking two inch vertical red mark on my eyebrow/forehead. If anyone asks about it tomorrow, I think I’m going to tell them that I was street fighting and got a little careless. However, anyone who visits my website will know that I had a battle I had with a door and lost.

I made my web cam better! I’m sure you’ve noticed the new little picture on the top right of the layout. It’s a little thumbnail of my room. The cool part is this little thumbnail is live. The cooler part is that you can click it. The coolest part is that after you click it, you can see the big one. Oooo. Ahhhh. I spent a little time earlier researching how this thing works and was able to find some hacked drivers that seemed to take a little better quality pictures than what I was using. Also, it gave me more control over some of the little settings that made it possible for you all to see (better, at least) what’s on my monitors without the horizontal sync throwing off the web cam and making the proverbial white blurr. So, there you go. Enjoy it. A few days ago I mentioned the possibility of raising money for a nicer one. I think I’ve decided aginst this idea. The “next step” up (that’s worth making, anyway) from my (free) one is about 80 bucks (eek!) and it doesn’t even do night vision. The only real improvement is the way it snaps the pictures and the size/quality you can get from it. But, since the actual image is being stored on my (crappy, low-bandwidth) home server, a higher quality image would only mean more loading time; and it’s slow enough as it is!

Well, it looks like I blogged a little longer than I was expecting. Thirty two minutes. Oh well, I guess I can’t complain. Not yet anyway. Ask me tomorrow morning while my alarm clock is buzzing and my response might be a dramatically different answer. I doubt I’ll be able to write tomorrow (for reasons relating to my late night class then doubled by exhaustion and squared by other responsibilities). So, until Friday, have a good one! I’m Scott, and you know who you are.

As I sit down at my desk to write, it feels as if I just opened my eyes in the morning. Though I’m still tired, my mind starts glancing from place to place in shallow thought, trying to remember where I left of the day before. Then, suddenly, ideas and memories flash in my mind like rays of light cast from a ball of fire exploding with great power! Suddenly I remember the quest I am on: TWD (total world domination). Then, as if the rug of sanity and order is ripped away from beneath my feet, I’m suddenly reminded of my duties and responsibilities toward my school, my work, my family, and my friends (in that order?). I can do little more than sit here and reminisce in the memories of past times and dream of the way I most desperately desire life to be. Then, while I’m about to collapse from the incredible volume of information, senses, perceptions, thoughts, ideas, and emotions, I shake my head and blink a few times, “Oh crap, I was doing it again! Getting all stupid in my writings. Wake up man /slaps/ get a grip!”

Today in chemistry class, someone said something that stuck me as really funny. I (last week) sent an email to a girl in the class about some of the homework. I mentioned in it something along the lines of “…you might want to contact me via phone or IM if you want to tell me something because I rarely check my email.” Mysteriously, I never got a response… In class today, the girl told me “hey, I got your email!”, and I was like “oh you did?”. “Yeah, I did. I didn’t respond though because I know you don’t get on the computer much.” (I know that’s not exactly what she said, but it must have been close, that was the impression I got) I thought it was really funny to hear someone say “because I know you don’t get on the computer much”! I could feel a grin/smile creep over my face as I tried to withhold the laughter that bubbled up inside me. What a silly thing to hear! I know she knows almost nothing about me, so I can’t expect her to know that I spend so much of my time working neck deep in code, but I just thought it was kind of (dare I say?) ‘cute’ to hear that in such a serious voice from a girl.

Hurry up and marry me! I went to a class tonight (a math night class) and got there ridiculously early. Dorks show up 10 minutes early every class. Nerds show up 15 minutes to early every class. Losers show up 20 minutes early to every class. Scott shows up 25 minutes early to math class. ANYWAY, I simply sat there and listened to some of the conversations that people were having amongst themselves. One of the girls was spilling out the story about her boyfriend. Her boyfriend (who she has known ever since childhood) had talked about marrying her. They have already planned out the wedding and all of that sort of thing, but he hasn’t purposed yet. He’s not purposing. She can’t figure out why he’s not purposing. She thinks he should go on and propose. She thinks he’s being stupid by not proposing. She thinks that he acts like an idiot sometimes and she doesn’t understand why he does the things she does. She thinks that he acts like a retard sometimes. She thinks that his apparent delay and/or change of plans is a really bad thing. She disagrees with what he is doing. She thinks this bad thing, she thinks that bad thing, she thinks this guy is another bad thing. Gawhh! I could feel myself leap out of my desk and run to her and place my hands palm-down on her desk and staring her in the face and screaming “what the heck is wrong with you? If you have such a problem with this guy then why in the world are you marrying him!?” Then I blinked a few times and realized I was still sitting in my seat listening in my amazement. That girl wouldn’t shut up about what a bad person this guy was! It grieves my heard to think about what kind of marriage they are going to have (if they do get married). In a marriage, it is vital to support your spouse! All husbands need to constantly support and uplift their wives! Almost every married woman will tell you that she would like it if her husband would say more nice things to them ^_^ But it also works the other way around! Although men often act all macho and emotionless etc etc, they really do want to be accepted, supported, and uplifted by their wife. These principals obviously apply to boyfriend/girlfriend couples, but no where are they as important as a marriage. Being with the same person for so long, you can develop the feeling that the other person simply doesn’t care about you anymore… that’s why it’s so important to keep saying nice things about them! If you don’t agree with something, then try your best to think of a way to work it out… but going to class and talking about what a horrible person he is! Aww man… I… I just… it… sometimes… it just… ahh! It makes me sad to think about.

side note: this was the same girl that said “I would never marry anyone who knows how to program … he would spend all of his time on his computer and never spend time with me!” that I wrote about a week or so ago

I’m taking my first user-suggested question! This one’s from Seng; She writes, “Scott, why do you think so many people get mad at you?” Bitterness. Anger. Hate. I get it in my email. I get it in my IM window. I get it in my comments boxes. I can’t seem to stop it. I can’t seem to run away from it. Why do people take their time to send me horrible messages of hate? This is a question that I get asked almost as often as I ask it in my own mind. Since every person is different, and each situation unique, it is impossible to derive a simple reason why people do these things. However, I’m sure that many people share certain thoughts and live through certain situations that cause them to show anger toward my family and me. For the simplicity of this article, I will call all negative messages I get “hate mail”, even though some of them are over IM and comments. There are two types of hate mail I get. The first and most common of type of hate mail I get is what I like to call “flamage”. People will open up an email, type many very offensive words (in an order that simply makes no sense), and send it off to me. I’ll read flamage and simply laugh at it’s stupidity! I know that flamge is caused by simple frustration. Maybe a guy just broke up with his girlfriend, got a bad grade on a test, got made fun of, or got mad at his computer the day he decided to write me. These events might cause someone to act stupid and randomly send in junk that, in it’s stupidity, is not hurtful but rather annoying and often quite offensive to others who may read it. Most of the time, I can just laugh-off these mails. I seem to be an easy target for frustration release ^_^ I don’t have a hard time understanding the cause behind this effect. I mentioned, however, that there were two main types of hate mail I get. Unlike the flamage that’s pretty light and simple, I will sometimes get “hate mail”. These mails, unlike the prior type which are seemingly random harsh words and names designed to make me mad, are eloquently written to hurt me from the inside out. Some people find it their responsibility to sit down and conjure-up horrible things meant stick in my side and rip me apart. These hate mails, although more rare, are the ones that I have trouble shrugging off. Lots of them play on true facts and events of myself and my life… and really sting. My guess as to why the people write these letters is because they’re dissatisfied with themselves (and/or their lives) and think that I have a ‘perfect life’ (they are deceived) and hold a grudge against me (in jealousy?) Do these affect me negatively? Yes, they most certainly do… but it’s not all that bad. Reading one of these horrible mails and knowing it was written directly at me is hurtful, yes, but reading wonderful and happy letters and knowing that they were written just for me is ten times as awesome =oD I love getting uplifting and encouraging emails, and thrive on them! They, by far, counteract any negative side-effects of the hate mails that I get. What a wonderful thing it is to hear kind words from a stranger =o)

side note: Seng is the girl pictured by the above paragraph. (The couple is dressed as Mario and Luigi) I met her a while back (she contacted me a long time ago about my software and we became friends). She happened to IM me the question suggestion as I was trying to think of a topic to write about, and managed to hit it at the perfect timing, way to go Seng! If anyone else has a question or topic they think I should write about, visit the “shoutback” link on the left menu!