Archive for January, 2004

no, not really. I’m just super-tired and don’t think I can pull myself to blogging tonight. I just had a conversation with a girl who (I thought) came across as very snappy at 2:30am! Watch as Scott grows green with envy. Oh well, don’t fret… I’ll post tomorrow for sure. I guess tomorrow is today.

AS AN APOLOGY FOR NOT BLOGGING…
I uploaded a song that you can all have fun listening to!!! =oD

>>>>> Every Little Thing – Jump (mp3) <<<<<

Leave comments! Tell me what you think!

note: check out this bandwidth. Isn’t it nice? Be respectful though, if I get too many leechers with the mp3, I’m going to have to go back to hosting the songs on my personal server in my room which only uploads at about 35k/s. So, here you go, max your download bandwidth grabbing this mp3 ^_-

Unfortunately, I am a very boring person. Therefore, no one would ever have any reason to read any of the things I write. However, they do. You don’t believe me? Well the very fact that you are reading this line of text that I wrote proves me to be correct. Now the ironic part lies within the fact that people regularly come here to read about the smallest and predominantly meaningless events in the life of a person who has no life. Nonetheless, people do come, and I continue to write. My purpose for writing these things is the hope of creating a nice preemptive paragraph for a mostly meaningless yet interesting question: to blog, or not to blog. That is the question that haunts every waking our I spend in my room. Ok, so I’m not that bad off, but the fact remains that I am boggling less and less with every week that passes. I almost regret sitting down and starting a new entry, until I get a few paragraphs closer to the end. The magic has gone. The excitement has dwindled. And where have all the pretty women gone!? I only meet two or three a week through this website. Oh well. I guess even that is counterproductive, given the fact that they live in some other state or country. One would think that it would do me good to spend less time on the computer and more time living life. I think this is very true, but most people have a false assumption about the subject. For me, doing the computer is living life. Embarrassing? Yes. Strange? definitely. Stupid? Absolutely. But, I will admit that some of the most fun I have is when I’m sitting here doing something constructive, like programming for example. I do things, get things done, learn things, accomplish things, and have something to show for it at the end of the day. Social interaction is an essential part of daily life, but it’s vastly over-rated. Simple mingling with mere acquaintances seems pointless. Don’t get me wrong though, I’d very much like to spend some time talking with someone here and there. The whole thing is an ironic paradox actually. The image I cast attracts a certain type of person. But once someone gets to know me, they see I’m different, and then will slowly back away. So my outer shell attracts people I don’t work well with, and repels the people that I would work well with. Oh well, there’s little I can do at the moment. Plus, I’m greatly over analyzing the subject, and I’m all writing serious, can you tell? Pfft, I need to lighten up. Ok, fun blog today!

What could be more fun to talk about than lamers and AOL? Ok, you got me. A lot could. Oh well, I’ll talk about it anyway. It’s come to my attention lately that a lot of people who come up to me and are like “Scott, I’m a 1337 H4X04″ use America Online. I find this a beautiful irony! It’s common knowledge that anybody remotely knowledgeable with computers will find AOL very limiting and frustrating to work with. Also, anybody with any really great computer skills would never talk in newbish (using numbers for letters). Finally, anyone who knew the first thing about “hacking” would know better than to walk up to someone and say “Hi, I’m a hacker.” Only posers, lamer, and hacker wannabe’s say things like that. So, mix the three, and we get unskilled lamer America Online users! Woo Hoo! You’re cool now! Ok, now a word to any AOL users in the audience. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with AOL for people who simply use it for email and mild web work and things of that nature. I’m not trying to diss or offend people who use AOL. It’s just that if you want to become “skilled” at anything, you need to drop AOL. Seriously, it’s for your own good, all right? I need to stop bringing back this subject… but I made a really cool graphic in Gimp(.org), don’t you think it’s cute? I need a chick-attractor for once. Ok, so, that’s for all the newbs that IM me claiming to be able to hack me form their seat while they have the little blue AOL logo by their screen name in the Instant Messenger.

The personal blog: a window into a teenager’s life? It’s hard to deny the fact that I write lots of (mildly) personal thoughts, ideas, feelings, annoyances and goals in my blog. One naturally could go to my blog, read a few days of it, and get a really good idea of what is going on in my life. The fact that I write it myself and place it for anyone to read means that I more or less expect at least somebody to read a small part of it every once and a while. Recently, I got to thinking of how this could be used for good uses. I’m trying to bleed into the point of this paragraph, but I can’t think of a good transition. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that if I were a parent and kept claiming to not understand my son, reading his blog would be a quick way to get some information that would shed some light on things, wouldn’t it? I mean, wow! What an awesome tool for a parent to use (covertly, of course) to find out what’s going on in his or her child’s life if they seem to be so interested. Everyone knows that it’s hard to speak perfectly when on the spot, articulating your words in ways that convey the correct emotions, thoughts, ideas, and magnitude of importance and relevance. With the stereotypical communication gap between a child and his or her parent(s), it just seems like if the parent(s) wanted to figure out why things are the way they are, they could turn to it and get all the information they needed and more. I mean, heck, the blogs are written because the writer has information s/he would like to share with everyone. I mean, it sure seems like it sure could put to rest lots of unanswered questions about the views of school, life, girls, etc… along with raising a lot of new levels of awareness to other important issues that need to be looked at (though I wont list those: you have to derive them yourself) What am I saying? I don’t know. Do I want my parents to read my blogs. No, not really. They make a big deal of stupid little things (they read one or two lines here and there and take them way out of context). Then they proceed to discuss the misinterpreted line with each other until they reach critical mass and then blog up about it. Also, they make such a freakin’ big deal of it. Recently, for example, one of my parents walked in my room and saw me working on something with my website on my far right monitor. S/He proceeded to stand there and read it all until they were done with that page and were like “scroll down now.” blah blah. I was able to, in a console, kill it across the screen and let out the proverbial “oops! That was accidental.” because it was just too awkward. I guess I don’t care if they read it, they just need to grow up a little about it ^_^ I’m not trying to belittle my parents’ current ideas on the subject in any way, but I do think that if they stopped and thought about it for half a subject, they’d stop acting so young about it. Ok, there’s my two cents. Watch them now happen to read it all the sudden and this is the first paragraph they read. Knowing them, they’d probably stop here and proceed to “talk to him” about it /rolls eyes/. Oh well.

Scott: Around the world in 80 days? At this point, it’s just a little idea I have. I doubt it will go through, but if I get a ton of good response back from this paragraph, maybe I’ll change my mind. Earlier today (driving to school) I was thinking about how many complain about the pictures of me (or lack thereof) that i show on my website. To add more, wouldn’t it be cool to think of a creative way to do it? Well, my idea was to get pictures from all over the world (80, to be exact) and place me in each one (gimp’ed, of course) in ways that’d be cool, interesting, creative, or funny. I don’t know, does it have potential? No. Ok, I’m an idiot. After proceeding to re-read this paragraph, I just realized how stupid it is. Scratch the idea. Forget it. Never talk to me about it. Ever. I’m an idiot. I um… I didn’t write that paragraph. Misia did. Yeah, blame her.

Scott, you are writing some strange stuff dude… Yeah, tell me about it. Especially the whole blurb about pedestrians. Why am I doing all of this? Well, first of all, it’s mildly relaxing. Second, I actually find it fun. Third, it’s something to show people when the [rare] conversations bring up a subject that parallels it. However, I do have a hidden motive. I truly desire to be able to write well by using a technical and logical appearing text format and still have my writings be powerful and full of emotion or humor. So, in other words, it’s practice… Practice for what? I haven’t decided yet. However, I thought it’d be fun to take a seemingly random subject (but a curiously interesting nonetheless) and write about it. The combination of the seriousness of the technical fashion of writing combined with the implied humor and absurdities might make it really interesting to read. My ultimate goal? I’d like to be able to write well. I’m not asking to have my little articles published in a side column of a magazine (losers-4-life) but I think it’d be nice to be able to write well. I know that I, at least, hold great respect and admiration toward those who can sit down and write nicely flowing articles. Combine this ‘talent’ with humor and bang! You have a new phenomenon of textural entertainment!

Well, I’m off to class in a few minutes, which reminds me… I haven’t talked about my classes for this semester yet! Well, why don’t I wrap up by saying that now. I’m in six college classes at the moment. Monday and Tuesday mornings I have a math class. The teacher is very nice, and explains the math well. She also makes it easy for the people who already know the stuff (me) to sit back and watch as a ‘refresher’ while not requiring much outside of tests and the occasional quiz. I think this is one of my favorite classes for this reason. The next class I have is Chemistry (Tuesday and Thursday mornings). The teacher I have is awesome. He really knows his stuff and has a great teaching voice. He expects us to have come right out of high school chemistry (I haven’t had chem in 4 years!) and needless to say, I am a little behind. However, I’m almost completely caught up. I had to relearn how to calculate the charge of atoms on the periodic chart and relearn the transition metals and other [simple] things that I knew at one point, but have long forgotten. The next class I have is another math class (Tuesday and Thursday nights). This teacher is really nice and a good teacher, but he requires that we turn in homework. And, might I add, he requires a lot of homework! It would look bad if a lot of his students fail, so this is the reason I believe he requires so much. I haven’t started any homework yet (I already know all the stuff) and he’s requiring we show it in five days. I have some work to do! It’s dumb, tedious and unhelpful work. Oh well. The next class I have is on Thursday nights. Just one day a week, but for three hours! It’s macroeconomics. It’s pretty easy I guess. The hardest part is staying awake! My final class is on Fridays only (again, 3 hours). This computer programming class is a breeze, but a nice one at that. I am provided with an Internet-enabled computer during the whole class. I load putty and ssh my home network and use GCC (the C compiler I use to test my homework projects) and proceed to finish all the homework he assigns as he assigns it. I’m done with it all before he even dismisses class. I’m sure this will change in a few weeks, but for now it’s nice. Oh yeah, I kinda forgot one. My chemistry class has a lab too. It’s right after class on Thursdays. Thank goodness, I have an intelligent (and semi-sane) lab partner! That really helps. I can’t help but reflect back on my days of high school chemistry lab projects with a partner who was a very very nice girl who didn’t speak much. I guess this one is a contrast, but a refreshing one at that. So, there you go. I need to pack up and get ready for trig class and macroeconomics right after that. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to blog tomorrow. Have a good day everybody!

Pedestrians: the roaches of the American road. People may claim that their only method to get from their house to their work or school is to walk. Some people take strolls on the pavement as a means of relaxation and recreation. People may say that walking on the sidewalk is limiting and that the road offers a greater experience. Others claim that walking to work or school outside in the fresh air on a nice day makes them feel good inside. Screw them. Meanwhile, the one hundred and fifty million car owners have to risk lives and lawsuits weaving in and out of the seemingly endless plethora of men and women of all ages and sizes who feel it is their personal duty to act upon their privilege to walk in the road. These pedestrians, as they’re referred to in court, are a non-escapable nuisance of life in America today.

Walking in the road is dangers. Every year, more than eighty thousand pedestrians are injured by motor vehicles. Every day, almost fifty road-walkers are killed by cars. There is no escaping the fact that walking in the road is dangerous. Remember when your second grade teacher told you not to play in the road after she caught you mooning traffic in the median? Everyone has grown up knowing that roads and highways are dangers places to play. Why are these rules any different for people who decide to walk in the road? Why is loitering in the road considered to be such an ignorantly stupid thing, while walking in it is a common practice that’s even supported by law? If an accident occurs involving a pedestrian, most often the car driver is declared “at fault”. The (then happy) pedestrian gets to take off work, lounge around the hospital, and get paid not to work while the driver who hit him has to pay fines and increased insurance rates.

And now, the interesting part. Did you know that every year, more drunk pedestrians are killed than drunk drivers? Drinking and driving may be dangerous, but you should always remember: Never drink and walk. Walking while under the influence of alcohol can create unsteady balance and wobbling of the legs causing the pedestrian to walk out into swiftly moving traffic. Drunk pedestrians lack proper judgment. Obviously, not all pedestrians are drunk; so why do we see so many judgment-lacking pedestrians? Every day while driving to college and/or work, I pass people who walk, stroll, or jog in the road. Rarely do I come across an alert pedestrian. They are most often walking in a daze biting their fingernails or picking their noses. They don’t stand near the outside edge of the road, they stand right on top of the little white separator line. While this might be considered “a good idea” because they are legally protected in court if (when) they are hit by a motor vehicle, there is a fundamental flaw. Getting hit by a car huts like crap. Why would anybody with a proper sense of judgment want to walk in the side of the road? I may understand this pastime if you’re walking on the left side of the road facing oncoming traffic so you can jump out of the way if somebody is too close to the edge. However I don’t see any logic or reasoning in walking on the right side of the road with headphones on looking the opposite direction with headphones on. It is these people that are unknowingly turned into fertilizer when large vehicles drive around a corner and plow right into the stupid pedestrian slamming them to the edge of the street and rubbing their body into the sidewalk killing them (almost) instantly.

You’re probably asking yourself, “but what can I do?” There is not much you can do to stop pedestrians from using the streets, however you can do a lot to help control the mindless sheep who pollute the roads. First of all, you should all practice swiping. For those of you who do not know what swiping is, it is a little act that can greatly reduce the number of pedestrians on the road. There are two main methods of swiping, though more can be creatively devised.

The first and most common method of swiping occurs if you see a pedestrian in the road near you. You are to accelerate softly, so as not to startle the away-facing pedestrian, and drive very close to the edge. Pedestrians like to push the limits by standing right on the white line. Although their arms, torso, and sometimes head is on the left of the line, their feet are technically inside the allowed region. So, you too can play their game and drive right on the white line. Although your tires are within the allowed region, your vehicle side, door, handles, and side view mirror are graciously positioned to the right of the rim of your tires. Thus, when you meet the pedestrian, you can usually do a pretty good job at transferring the acceleration from your car into their upper body, usually creating a twist/fall motion in the pedestrian causing them to crawl off the road. In the event that an arm is unfortunately severed, you must stop, pick it up, and return it. If a pedestrian’s limb detaches from his or her body, it is a ton of fun to go and pick it up though. Don’t take it for yourself, however. That is stealing. (arm-robbery?)

The second method of swiping that you can do with your motor vehicle is called NMF (not my fault – pictured). Although it sounds simple, this maneuver is far more difficult to do, however is does have better results. When you see a forward-facing pedestrian from a long distance, try to drive as close to the right of the road as you can, all the way in the side lane. Even though you are in their space, continue driving right next to the road. Chances are, you will be seen by the pedestrian. They will have to make a choice. a.) step in the grass, b.) step in the road to avoid the car, or c.) get ground into the pavement. Unfortunately, option c is rarely chosen. Surprisingly, most pedestrians do not choose a (to walk in the grass) because it might soil their new shoes. They choose to walk in the center of the road instead (since you’re on the far right). Now the fun comes in. Slow down (as necessary) to try to get a vehicle behind you. Then, when you’re almost about to get to the level of the pedestrian, slam on your breaks (”to avoid from hitting the pedestrian”) and the car behind you will quickly change lanes to avoid hitting you. This driver, however, has accomplished two things. First, he has avoided from hitting you in the road. Secondly and more importantly, when he switched lanes he plowed right over the pedestrian. Congratulations! You’ve killed a pedestrian, and it’s not your fault.

Encourage pedestrians. Pedestrians, being the small minded and most likely insecure brainless humans that they are, need encouragement to do simple everyday tasks. You can help reduce the number of pedestrians by encouraging them to walk in groups. This way, when an accidental pedestrian killing occurs, more pedestrians are killed at once. This greatly reduces the number of individual incidents, while increasing the amount pedestrians that are disposed of. So remember, if you must walk on the road, walk in groups. The larger the group of stupid people, the better. (note: cheerleaders make great groups of pedestrians) This way, instead of just one or two people being killed by a semi, thirty or forty people can go at the same time.

Scott, don’t you think doing this is wrong? I certainly do. I think that we should not be planning to strategically kill pedestrians. I do not believe that hitting them by cars is a good thing. I think they need to all be rounded up and shipped to an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean. But, unfortunately, since this is not possible, killing and injuring them will simply have to do.

Ahh, the reassuring comfort of silence. I have chosen to take twenty four hours of my life and ‘unplug’ from the things that are so frustrating. In case you haven’t known me for long, this is something I try to do at least every two months. Some times, you just get overwhelmed with the sheer volume of stupid little things that you know you should do, the dumb little things you have to do, and the beautiful things you wish to do. I’ve found that every once in a while (when stuff seems to really pile-up) it’s good to take a day off from the frustrating world of these assumed responsibilities to refresh your mind and make your priorities clear. I will do this by unplugging from everything. By this, I mean that I literally unplug my monitors (yes, all of them) and spend a day (or more) detached from the computer. This is a great way to once again realize that all the little people that email, instant message, and contact you over the Internet are relatively unimportant when compared to the responsibilities of real life. No, I don’t need to stop what I’m doing and email somebody how to rebuild their monitor. No, I don’t need to tell some kid how to use a raid drive with the latest kernel version. No, I don’t have a responsibility to help every little newbie that IMs me with silly little questions about Linux that they’re too lazy to google for themselves. Today, I unplug, and enjoy life as a normal human. So, if you try to contact me and I remain mysteriously silent, now you know why. I just needed to spend a little time away [from people like you] to induce a little reboot in my mind. Thanks for understanding! However, during this time, I do use a computer to do one thing. Blog. That way, it’s one way communication. People can still find out about me, and I can still talk to people, but I don’t have to worry about them harassing me back. So, here you go, I hope you enjoy it. =o)

All right, to start off this refreshing day, let’s jump right into the subject of all the people that actually do like my website. I’ve flirted a little bit with the subject in the previous post, but I haven’t gone in much detail with it. ScottIsHot.com was born only eight months ago. I started the website as a name for myself that would be easy to remember. I never intended to make a real website out of it. I was running many servers at the time for friends and things (ftp server, irc server, etc) and scottishot.com was easier to remember and to type than nibjb.sytes.net. However, since I had the domain name, I figured I’d might as well put a website on it. I had previously created a [small] blog, and thought I’d simply continue it on my new website. I slowly added things that I thought were cool, and transformed it from an informational website to more of a mainstream personal website. That sounds like an oxymoron, but it’s not. The two words do clash harshly, but I try to maintain both. At this point, I get about twenty thousand hits (with over two hundred thousand files served) every month. Why do I get so many people interested in my relatively small website with little more than some technical writings and a personal blog? I am honestly amazed, and I don’t completely understand it, but I do like to think that I have a solid hypothesis and I try to mold my site around it to make it better for everyone. People come to my site because they connect with it. I think [almost] every person can find something on my site that they feel they connect with; from the strange perspectives on life, love, liberty, and happiness, to my Apache configuration files. People, when they’re slightly bored with a computer in front of them can type-in scottishot.com, press enter, and read the latest day in the life of this mysteriously anonymous Scott character and have a feeling of connection. Some people like it because it makes them feel like they have an eventful life (in contrast to my somewhat-predictable [boring?] life). Others live vicariously through the very act of reading about the things that happen to me. Since so many people have so many different reasons, I try not to cater to any one group, and my blog topics cover an staggeringly wide range of topics. The simplicity of my writings combined with the ease of contacting the writer and intermingled with the feeling of being able to really be a part of my life is how I keep the feeling of closeness with my readers. Anyone can reach me, anyone can ask questions, and anyone can get talked about! Since they feel they’re a part of my life, they can come and read any enjoy it. So, there you go. Those are some of my ideas of why I get so many people coming to my website. I may have hit a few points there that seemed right, or I may have gotten it all wrong, who knows. If you have your own theories, feel free to comment about them and I may write about them in tomorrow’s entry!

So, you figured me out ‘eh? I get a lot of people these days that think they’ve gotten me figured out. They see the things I say, the things other people say about me, and draw a [semi-logical] conclusion about why I act the way I do and why I think the things I think. I think almost everyone that knows me well has their own ideas, but the funny thing is that so many of them are different! I try to encourage people not to jump to conclusions about me, because they can often appear logical but because of some small thing that you don’t know, they’re completely wrong. This can be very detrimental when you base other ideas on that fundament[ally wrong] assumption and say things to or about me that just… eek… it’s a mess.

Ya’ know, I look/listen at/to strange things ^_^ You’ve probably noticed my strange ramblings about browsing deviant art and listening to foreign non-English music, but you may not have realized why I like it so much. Well, I’ll clue you in. First of all, one of my favorite things to do for fun and relaxation while at my computer is to go to deviant art (.com) and simply browse a few hundred of the millions of pages of user-submitted art. I will look through the pages of thumbnails and then open-up the pages of images I like and if they’re really good, I’ll look up every thing that artist posted. I tend to be drawn to images that tell a story. I especially like it when these stories are surreal of fantastic, telling of strange places and far away lands. Look around my blog and it’s archives. I’d say 95% of the images I use come from deviant art (.com). If you’re bored, it’s a great place to go to spend some time. However, be warned: it’s very addicting. I go to it and browse about four times a week. Some times I can go two or more days without looking at deviant art, but much longer and I start going through withdraw symptoms. On a slightly different subject, a few years ago a friend of mine got me started on watching a foreign film. I ended up really liking it (even though it was subtitled) and downloaded as many more similar foreign films as I could. I found some awesome movies, and I noticed that some of them had really cool music. After searching for and downloading the music, I proceeded to download as many songs from the same bands as I could because I liked it so much. Then, I found an online radio station that played Japanese music twenty four hours a day. Japanaradio (.com) was this station. Now, years later, I still listen to this station almost all hours of my day. I don’t even listen to American singers anymore. I’m almost all about Korean and Japanese music. I also don’t listen to music where guys sing… only girls. I don’t know why it’s this way, but I just don’t like the feeling from hearing a guy sing softly to me. It’s unsettling. I think that listening to music with words that are not understandable is cool, because you can make-up your own meaning for the songs. You have all the advantages of being able to listen to a woman sing beautifully, with none of the disadvantages of having to hear the shallow lyrics. This, my friend, is why I listen to foreign music! Also, I like Korean and Japanese music because I’ve come to really like listening to the language. Chinese is a little harsh, German seems a little cold, French is a little sloppy, and Thai music is too hard to come by these days ^_^
note: the image on the right is of Boa, one of my favorite Japanese singers.

60 minutes to live, what would you do? Yesterday, I drove my sister and her friend to a movie (they wanted to go and didn’t have a car, and I was bored and wanted to get out, so it worked out well). On the way home, they both were tired in the back seat and seemed to be right ton the edge of falling asleep, when my sister’s friend said, “If you only had one hour to live, what would you do?” What a strange question, but wow, it really does make me think to answer. Both of them just spat out “I’d call as many of my friends as I could in the 60 minutes.” However when I thought about what I’d do, i had a hard time thinking of something. I don’t say this in a bad way at all, so don’t take it the wrong way, but… I don’t really have anyone I’m close to. I don’t have any close friends. I don’t think I’d call anyone. Maybe I’d call my parents, to tell them where I’ve hidden my “if I die” paper (yeah, I have one, and you should too), but other than that I can’t think of anything I’d do. I think I’d like it to be night time, and a little cold… and I’d put headphones on and walk around alone outside somewhere. That’s the time I most value =o) So, as strange as this paragraph is, I actually was able to conclude with a somewhat sane answer. Ironic? A little. Why, are you mad? Yes?! Ok. /sigh/ I’ll say it. “If I only have one hour to live, I’ll do my best to blog in the 60 minutes I have.” =op

Well, it’s time for me to go. I have this thing I have to go to for school (yeah, I know it’s Sunday) so I need to leave in about ten minutes. I planned to write more, but yet again the clock is my limit. Oh well, I’ll have plenty to write about tomorrow afternoon. To everyone who reads my blog and supports me, thank you. To everyone who reads my blog and condemns me, get a life. To everyone who reads my blog and remains silent, you need need to talk more. To everyone who doesn’t read my blog, what’s it like to be sane?

postnote: I finished my hw and decided to do something on the computer that did not involve communicating with others. So, I spent a little time and cranked-out the layout I had in my head for a few weeks. What do you think?

Man, this is going to be rough, but I’m going to push my way through it! You see, right now the last thing in the world that I want to do is sit down and write this blog. However, I’m sure once I get into it, I’ll be able to enjoy it again. You’ve most likely noticed that I haven’t posted for the last few days. I (for the first time in a while) disappeared for seventy two hours without notice. People who tried to contact me couldn’t get through, people who emailed me didn’t get their mails returned, and people [desperately] going to my website were unable to read the latest events of the life of Scott. Forgive me! This one was [mostly] out of my hands. And by the way, if you feel deprived, because your lack of Scottness in the last few days, you are addicted my friend. No worries though! It’s all good. It’s time for me to start blogging again. I have peeled off the shell of procrastination and jumped into the hot tub of accomplishment (splashing some productivity out around the edges from the waves of change). I’m talking in directionless riddles. You know what that means! No more introduction; It’s time to start the blog.

Scott! Where have you been? Well I did address the fact that I had stepped away from my computer for a few days, but I did not go into the reasons why. Truth be told, I was captured by the RGB and lights were flashed in my face. Oh wait, that was last night trying to fix my monitor. (get it, rgb? Wow. Dumb.) I think I’ll work backwards. As you can tell from the dry and pointless attempts at comic relief spewing from my mouth, I didn’t get an excess amount of sleep last night. My parents were gone last night and my sister (14) had a friend over to spend the night with her. We watched movies until the wee hours of the morning. Then they went to sleep… and i started a blog. I started this blog, actually. The funny thing was that by the second paragraph I couldn’t comprehend what I had actually written. I had typed so near the edge of my consciousness that I would slip in and out of sanity while curiously typing throughout the whole ordeal. I ended up giving up, closing the window, and setting up my bed [a blanket on the floor] and went to sleep. The days before that were pretty much the same. I woke up early, went to school, got home, studied and/or went to work, went to night classes, got home late, went to sleep, and repeated the process. However, I’m sure you’re like “yeah right Scott, you’re going to try to tell me you didn’t have time to blog?”. From the very moment I wrote those previous words, I knew I’d get flooded with people trying to chew me out for not blogging. (more on this later). So, I figured I’d go on and explain. My hard drive died. Dead. Unfortunately, it’s my main workstation’s hard drive that I do (/did) everything on. I decided, however, that this was a glorious opportunity to rebuild Linux on a fresh hard drive in a patient and methodical way; a great contrast from the previous Linux installation that was done in haste with little care. So, for the last few days I’ve been stuck in a console. Only now do I have X up for a GUI, a web browser installed so I can go to deviant, gimp to edit the images I find, and open office to type this blog in so I know I’m spelling everything correctly. Could I have simply used another computer? Yes, and I’m sorry.

Dude, you’re freaking out about this. No one cares how often you write. One would think that, wouldn’t they? However now I’m faced with the strangest crowd of [obsessive] blog readers. Every day I’ll get about 30 IMs from new people who stumbled upon my website and decided to contact me. The strange thing is that I missed two days’ blogs and I got at least three times that many from people who were like “yo, you skipped a day! Get back on it man!” As odd as it seems, and as difficult as the concept is to grasp, people actually do thoroughly enjoy my website [especially the blog] and make it a small [but stable and reliable?] sliver in their day to day life. I have yet to figure out the mystery of what attracts these strange people, but I do find a little bit of comfort knowing that there are people out there that have just as little of a life as myself. All right, it seems like all I talk about in my blogs these days is the blogs themselves. No one wants to read about that! On to bigger, better, and infinitely more intriguing topics, like the way my room looks ^_-

Ok, Scott, in yours pics you have… two chairs at your desk. Wow, you are an observative one aren’t you? In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can see my collection of pictures of my room through various times in the past few months. Notice that in all of these, I have a desk with spots for two chairs. I haven’t gotten a whole lot of people ask me about this, but I have gotten just enough that i figure it merits a healthy mention in the blog mud pit. About three years ago, I had a desk chair that broke. About the same time, my mom’s parents (my grandparents. Duh.) moved houses. They had an extra desk chair left over and offered it to me. The desk chair was nothing special; a little gray cushion and small backrest on a black body. Strangely, a few months later, I got the identical chair given to me from somebody else (who I have forgotten). So, two matching desk chairs that fit me perfectly and are usefull for so many things now exist in my room. I figure, if I have them, why not arrange them in a way that they can both be used at once? I can slide my desk chair back and forth between two positions to work on two computers, or better yet, I could work on one system while somebody else [sitting next to me] is working on the other. After the first few months of doing this, I became so accustomed to the strange benefits of having multiple chair spaces at my desk that whenever I moved my room around, I made sure I had room for two people to sit. It because a strange desire for me… not an obsession or anything like that… I just felt happier when I had another chair beside me. Since then it’s evolved into a very strange situation. Two chairs [romantically] placed side by side and I’m always in one while the other one is always empty (with the exception of the occasional school book). So, there you go. You now know that I have a… ‘thing’ for having a chair [empty or not] next to me. Call it optimism. Call it nostalgia. Call it self delusion. You can even call it a nonsensical prospect of an aspiring lunatic mind. You can say what you want, just don’t move my chair ^_^ (o… k… that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever written in my whole life)

Another awkward bloggish intimidation Scott? As if your imagination cannot supply your mind with a vivid picture of the awkwardness this blog causes at times, I will describe in some detail something that happened this morning that was nothing short of ridiculous. I have a website which I work to maintain with my own time by my own means using my own funding. Some people rebuild cars, some people tile floors, I add to my website. Not everyone likes cars. Not everyone likes tile floors. Not everyone will like my website. Live with it, move on, and leave me alone about it. There’s no need to rub someone’s face in the fact that you simply don’t see the point [reason? Logic?] in someone’s hobby [for relaxation]. However, something weird happened earlier today. The actual confrontation wasn’t weird, but the way I responded in my mind was very strange. Afterwards, I tried to figure out what caused me to reason the way I did. Ok, I’ll back up. I was sitting in my room like a good little boy in front of three monitors and configuring something in a console. One of my parents walked in my room and started talking to me. I slowly responded, but didn’t feel the caliber of the conversation was to a level high enough that it would be rude for me to continue working in the console as I spoke. So, being the [curiously bizarre] multitasker that I am, I continued to work on my far left monitor as I talked. About thirty seconds into my spiel about things I’ve long since forgotten, I noticed that that parent was looking at the far right monitor where I had happened to leave my website up. “Is this your website Scott?” Now cut for just a second. Why do I do this? Every time someone confronts me in the flesh about reading [live] my blog, I freak out. Right now, I just realized that I’m breaking a sweat typing about it. Are these nerves? Why!? Ok, so, anyway, I gently resisted because I didn’t want to stop doing what I was working on and also because I didn’t want him/her to stand beside me and read all that stuff. Sit down at least, in another room. However, (yet again) my resistance was taken as concealance and then s/he demanded that I load it again so s/he could read it. Why does this keep happening? (me resisting for one reason and having it be taken as “Scott’s hiding something” Well to make a long story short, I tried my best to smooth talk my way out of the strange situation and succeeded in doing so. However one thing that I thought was funny was that h/he [threatened?!] to go to someone else’s house who had the Internet and “read it all.” The funny thing is that s/he could have done that at the computer in the kitchen, but s/he has a silly idea that my website is blocked on it. Isn’t life funny some times ^_^

Yes, well, I’m about to leave so I need to wrap up. I doubt I’ll be writing again today because I do have a lot of schoolwork I’d like to get done. After that, if it’s still early enough to keep my eyes peeled open, I’ll see if I can blog some more. Otherwise, expect an entry Sunday afternoon or night. Also, you should keep your eye out for a refurbished layout one of these days… wink wink. All right, well I apologize for my stoic seriousness in today’s post and the lack of interesting information… but like I said, today’s post was more of a “house cleaning” and hopefully tonight’s / tomorrow’s will be more of a game of twister while eating Oreo cookies in front of the TV watching the Jetsons, and other strange examples of things that rarely happen… But aren’t the experiences enjoyful, nostalgically reflected on in pure bliss? Ok, Scott’s getting ahead of himself. Save it for the next blog buddy. Oh yeah, Scott forgot to add an image to this post. Pfft, what a dork. I’ll have to select one for him at random… Oh yeah, while I’m at it, I think that Scott’s blog might do better of all the images he adds have the cool (gimp’ed script-fu) faded edges on them. What do you think? My reasoning is that it might make the page flow better and not seem as sharp around the edges.. but feel free to comment. All right. That’s Scott, I’m the narrator, and you know who you are.

Is a late new years resolution brewing in Scott’s little mind? Possibly. Although I asked for suggestions and ideas for a new years resolution many months ago, Jan 01 came and I didn’t get any that stuck me as good. Well, a few were really good, but they simply weren’t possible. One of the ideas that’s been rolling around my mind is the concept of organization. I’m not talking about “Ok now Scott, put your pencils on your left and pens on your right.” No no, I’m talking about organizing my goals. I have a few long term plans / goals that I have set in my mind. I strive to obtain these by the things I do every day (school, work, etc.) However, the sloppynes of my own mind (that’s shown through my life) is what is staring to bother me. Although the long-term goals projects I have are constantly in my mind, the short-term projects are the ones I have a ton of trouble with. I keep hopping on one project, then stopping it to put my time into another project, then I get distracted with an idea, and that leads me to do something else for a while… By the time I have a minute to stop and think what I’ve actually done in the past few months, I see little more than a jumbled up pile of unfinished projects, or plans that got placed on hiatus. In the past few months, I’ve kept three note cards on my desk at all times. The first one is my long-term goal card. I literally write the things I want to do with the rest of my life. It may seem stupid, but if you actually do jot down four or five points, it’s a nice way to put things in perspective later on. The second card is a “I want to” card. Here, I write down all the things I would like to do. This can be anything, from meeting friends to making web sites to buying a computer or writing software. This card serves mainly as a reminder card of things to start working on once I have some free time. So, when free time comes, I grab my favored few items off of the “I want to card” and put them on my “short-term” card. This card gets changed every day practically, and often thrown away and a new one is created. On the short-term card, I write the things I want to do within the next one or two weeks. I cross items off as I do them. I really don’t like removing items off the list without doing them (giving up) so I try hard not to add something unless I think I really can do it. I know you’re thinking “Why Scott? Why all the trouble?” and I’m glad you asked. So many people these days seem to get bored and have time to kill. They even get frustrated because they have nothing to do. It’s usually in these times when people mope around their house and get all depressed and stuff. Although I doubt I’d take it to that extreme, I do very much hate having nothing to do. So, with a list of projects to work on, I always have something to do for twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I’m going to see about placing these 3 lists on a section of my web site so other people can see what things I’m planning on doing and I might even get some motivation out of it. The assumed responsibility of knowing other people see what you want to get done is enough to motivate you to get it done faster. So, there you go. My final polished resolution is to get more organized with my time and my projects and not have so many hanging projects that I never finish. Ya’ happy? No? Go away.

What’s up with all this gothic/gangster stuff? I know these two ’styles’ have been around for a while, but all the sudden it seems (in my area, at least) that people want to be one of these. I cannot tell you how many people contact me these days and tell me they’re either a gangster, or gothic. First of all, let’s take a look at the gothic crowd. I have nothing aginst them, I mean, hey, they’re people too… they just dress weird. I know (personally (in the flesh)) a few people who are gothic and are very nice. However, there are two things I simply don’t understand. First of all, “Why do they call themselves gothic?” I mean, (correct me if I’m wrong) isn’t gothic a simple term that describes something about or relating to the middle ages? These people wore brown clothes and warriors wore armor. I don’t see the connection between the people who lived in the middle ages who’re referred to as “goths” and the black-dressing spike-decorating face-painted black lipstick people today who call themselves by the same title. I guess it doesn’t really matter, it just strikes me as funny. The people I know that are gothic don’t have answers either. I ask them that question, and only one of them has even heard of gothing meaning the middle ages. Well, yeah, beside the technicality, my second question is “why?” I guess this question may appear shallow, stupid, accusing, demeaning, etc… but it really is made of a purely curious intent: “so… why be ‘gothic’?” The 2 most common answers I’ve gotten is “to be different” and “to have friends that are like me”. I guess those count a little. I don’t know, I’m just weird. I got to thinking about it in the car earlier today and I thought I’d put the subject up for discussion and ask you all what you think. So, drop any comments you might have, and if any real “gothic” people want to clue us in to the truth, that’d be great. And, oh man! I almost forgot. Gothic, ok, I’m all right with that. It seems… sane. But what the heck is this uprising trend of gangsters? I will admit I’m practically clueless on this aspect. I don’t know what, who, why, when… I don’t know any of this stuff. All I know is that I’m getting people come up to me and be like “yo I’m a gangsta” like it’s really cool. I don’t know if the ‘gangster’ style is a style, or people who really think they’re tring to be gangsters. Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you want to be a gangster, don’t you just have to join a gang? I’m confused. I see lots of little 14 year old white boys outside of school with huge jeans and sweatshirts loaded with fat ‘ol gold neckace jewlry and a hairnet to top it all off. Somebody clue me in to this one?

Well I’m off to work… I’ll post more later. I just got back from my classes and I don’t have any more tonight… but… I do have a lot to stuy /sigh/. I’ll try to put in as much time as I can into work, but I have so much to do! Ahh! I know what you’re thinking “how could you blog all this junk if you’re running out of time?” Well, the answer is that I’m eating lunch, and this only took me 15 minutes so far. I know, I’m bad. I’m putting my blog before work, school, and life. Oh well, call me mister butterfinger. Check back later and I’ll finish this thing…

Yes, that’s right! … or at least it was a few hours ago when I started this much of the blog and then procrastinated for many hours. Nonetheless, here I am, and here you are. How do I know you are sitting there reading this page? It’s because I know you’re sitting there reading this page! Wow, you are stupid. Ok, let’s see what’s on the serving tray for tonight! I’m in a funny mood and remain indecisive on the topics I’d like to talk about. Yes, I’d like to talk about them all, but it’s already 7:30 and I have some homework I’d like to knock out tonight. Needless to say, I don’t have the luxury of infinite amounts of time blogging. Instead of breaking off a new paragraph at this point to form a new thought, I’ll use this sentence as a transition into a new idea. This way, it looks like my webpage has larger paragraphs and smoother thoughts. How silly. Anyway, the first thing I wanted to talk about tonight in my blog is my blog. You know, the little thing you’re reading now. Believe it or not a lot of thought, determination, and work goes into these crazy little postings. Can you believe it’s already been almost two weeks since that seven thousand word post? It’s about to run off the page and be more or less lost forever. I will be saddened when this happens, but also happy in the idea of the past being erased behind me and I have a blank slate from which to carve ahead of me. My last few blogs have been pretty skimpy, and I’m sorry. I have been really busy lately and I haven’t had the kind of time that I wanted to be able to devote to these blogs. Now that the apology is over, I can continue on with the rest of the blog. I will start a new paragraph, but I will only slightly deviate from the topic at hand.

Future changes to this blog are always churning as ideas in my mind and aspirations in my heart. (Wow, that was poetic. I should write “the computer lovers book of poetry and love stories”) Where was I…oh yes! Changes. See how at the bottom of each blog entry, the separator has changed a little bit? No longer does simple white space separate blog entries! I added cool little icons and clickey thingies and even something so fancy as a dashed horizontal line. I also added an automated word counter, so I no longer have to waste time going into a JavaScript cut and paste script to determine the length of the blogs after I write them. It’s all 100% automated, so I can go back later and add a few words or remove some and the number is automatically updated. However, there is a small problem. The word counter seems to be a little on the low side. That blog I wrote last week that I claimed was 7200 words only showed up as 6800 words. I think the main differences lie in the way that the word counters process small words. I’ll have to look this up to be sure, but it’s my guess that the automated word counter doesn’t count words that are 3 characters long or less. Enough with the technicalities! I’m sure (or mostly sure) that you read this paragraph because you were curious of the other ways in which I could change this blog. Well, I do have one more idea that’s rolling around the back of my head, but I think it may be years before I go through with it. For now, I think my blog will change here and there around the edges, but more or less be the same. In the future, I thought it’d be cool to make this blog video. That’s right, forget the text: it’d be video. I’m not sure if it’d be just for me or possibly public for everyone, but I have some time to figure things like that out. The cool part is that I can talk freely and continuously. Another cool aspect is that I’ll be able to see the way I look. I wish I had started this when I was 12! It would have been awesome to be able to watch videos I recorded of myself talking to my webcam, and it would have been awesome to be able to go back and watch myself grow up. However, I didn’t do this, so the question sits at my door. I know I wish I had done this in the past, but is now a good time to start? It’s funny. I sit here thinking “uhhgg I don’t think I could make myself sit down and talk to my web cam when I have so many other things I could do” and suddenly I flash back to myself saying “uhhgg I don’t think I could make myself sit down and type a blog when I have so many other things I could do.” I think it’d definitely be possible and possibly even probable (oxymoron?) However there are more questions. Is this a threat to my personal safety? Would I get self conscious and have to do my hair just right before I blog every day? Would I lose all care in how I look and come across a lazy bum? What if I just keep this private? Or would I make it public? How weird is something like this? I could do it audio-only (mp3?) which would make it really easy to move over the internet and hey, why not make it public. I mean, if I simply read my blog to a microphone, compressed it into mp3 format and sent it out… would it be more interesting to listen to? I think that reading gets boring over time… but my voice gets simply annoying. I don’t know though, you all are welcome to comment and cast me your ideas. Oh yeah, a post thought that coming back and adding in a while after: take a look at my quotes. Instead of normal quotes that all look the same, I’m using a plug-in for movable type (my blogging engine) that corrects quotes with the correct “curvie” quotes. See? Nice.

Thinking back to myself at 13, I’ve learned a lot since then! I just had a flashback to myself sitting on a windows 98 computer poking around the control panel and saying to one of my friends “I really like this operating system.” I’ve come so far in my accomplishments and achievements… or have I? When looked upon in a different light, what have I actually learned since then that’s of any value? Beside a [slightly] deeper understanding of scholastic subjects (history, math, etc.) and a little more experience with computers, what’ve I gained? I think that if you try to measure a man’s life by his actual personal accomplishments, you will usually not get very far. Even the most successful of people don’t always have incredibly accomplishments that make you stand back and go “wow.” I think that more importantly than the accomplishments you make yourself are the bonds you make with other people. Being able to say that you gained trust and friendship from genuinely nice people and also returning these qualities is actually pretty cool, when you think about it. The more you work to do something, the less impacting it is. (Work varies inversely with time exponentially) Oh no, I just restated what I just said mathematically. See? I’m turning into a nerd. A geek. A whacko. I don’t wear glasses with masking tape holding them together above the nose… but I think if I did, I’d be the stereotypical image of a geek. This leads me right into my next point of how different I as a person am. Despite the obvious physical changes, I think I’ve really changed a lot in my mind. Around the age of 14/15 I shut myself in a room and detached myself from the world (in a good way!) and started becoming a solitary worker. I don’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but it certainly is how I am now. Long hours of frustrating work that tries the patience of anyone seems to be little of a problem for me if I’m in my own room and setting my own pace. I remember reading documentation and making things in Flash (4!) and 3dsmax (3.1!) back in the good ‘ol days while the kids at school were making model airplanes. It’s strange to talk about now because something very strange has happened in the last two years. People at younger and younger ages are having access to greater computer technologies. Kids that’re 12 and 13 years old already have experience with 3d modeling and animation programs. Just last night I had company over and one of the guys who is a freshman (I think?) is learning how to use inventor in a standard class. Some special engineering or technically centered high school, maybe, I could understand that. But from what I had come to gather, this was just a simple normal high school and they’re teaching stuff like this. Something else that’s interesting is the availability of server-side web programming languages to everyone and the younger and younger ages of the people who get into it. I remember that when I wanted to create a website with dynamic content (nibjb.sytes.net) I had to build my own webserver in my room to run it, because I couldn’t find anywhere that gave free active server web hosting and I didn’t meet anyone that had access to it either. So there I was trying to run a little windows server using ASP and learning how to code dynamic webpages from the bottom up. My progress was so slow! Everything I did I had to do myself. Now I look out and see all these little kids who are given instant access to PHP and stuff and are able to learn it really fast because of the availability of great and simple tutorials and people who’re willing to help them. I don’t want this paragraph to sound like I’m sorry for myself for not knowing more about computers, so I’ll just end it soon. I’m happy with the way things have unfolded, because the long amounts of time I spent by myself have shaped me into the [socially reclusive interaction-incompetent?] person I am =oD

So these kids are given the world and still ask for more. Get a load of the newbies these days! Yeah, I know, there were newbies 10 years ago, but were there as many? I can’t recall any big complications or frustrations with newbies from long ago in my past. Then again, I probably don’t remember the newbies because I was spending too much time actually being one myself. Now once again, by newbie I don’t mean a beginner. By newbie, I mean someone who knows very little but acts arrogant and tries to make people think s/he knows a lot more than s/he actually does. I think that these days the intelligent geek slash hacker is actually a title that strangely sought after by some people? Wow, this raises a whole new point. Back when I was in 6′th grade, the computer users were always the ‘geekie’ people who no one liked. Some of the things I’ve sensed these days is that not only are they tolerated more these days, but in some circles they’re actually raised up! It’s crazy to watch kids tv shows and see the little guy with the computer who hacks a school is lifted up to the hero. It’s almost as if it’s being promoted these days. I’ve touched a lot of areas but haven’t actually spent time getting deep in any one of them. I don’t know, what’re your thoughts? Do you have an opinion? Are you a geek? Were ‘geeks’ accepted when you were young? Are they now? Why? What changed?

Oh no my screen name is going to be suspended! Oh, wait, my bad, it’s just another newbie. I think it’s really funny when people IM me things like “I’m going to suspend your screen name” and stuff like that. It’s like “hello! IM me something I don’t get 10 times a day from random people!” Ahhgg, oh well. As you can probably tell, I had an encounter with “America Online is the number one ISP, and if Linux supported it, you would use it too Scott” -ShynePosome newbies tonight. I had many encounters with newbies. I don’t know what it is with newbs and attacking me, but I sure get a lot of it. I had this one guy just tossing insult after insult at me about Linux. I will admit I did egg him on, but only because some of them were so funny! I mean check this out. This one is from ShynePo after I made fun of the guy for him using AOL. He proceed to say (in all seriousness) “AOL is the #1 ISP, and if Linux supported it, you’d use it too Scott”. It’s just like… wow. That and “u probably pirated Linux Scott.” I got a chuckle out of that one (considering that Linux, itself, is free). I’ll go on and say this because I know if I don’t I’ll get IMs about it. Yes, I know that certain distributions of Linux charge certain amounts of money for high-end uses. Red hat server operating systems are the ones I think of off the top of my head. When I mentioned that it was free for normal users to ShynePo, he was like “nuh uh, I saw it in best buy for 200 dollars.” Oh well. Later I got an IM from a group of newbies. Actually this was really weird. They banded together in a group and called themselves the newbie hackers. I’m sure that none of them knew anything about ‘hacking’ (not that I claim to). I was invited to a chat room with half a dozen or so “newbie hackers” and they all insulted me with the “Linux is stupid” and “AimPoo doesn’t work” garbage that I get every day in IMs and emails. After the hurl of insults, lots of these people proceeded to ask me questions to try to get help and favors from me! How crazy is that?! Vahh. I’m so over lamers these days. Hey, that’s perfect! I’m not going to call them newbies anymore. They’re lamers. Perfect.

Scott, you’re meeting women? How is that bad?? Yeah, actually. But don’t get all excited. It’s through my website. I’ve been getting a surprisingly large amount of nice women contact me as a result of finding me website one way or another. However, I do think that this is a bad thing. I’m only experiencing communication with other humans of the female gender through semi-anonymous online conversations and across the physical gap of land distance (rarely will someone live in central Florida)

SCOTT!!! YOU SHOULD GO ON HOTORNOT.COM!!! Ok, yeah, I’ve gotten this a million times in email. However, this time, I think I’m actually thinking it over. Since my domain name is ScottIsHot, I think it’d be pretty funny to make a big deal out of it. My current idea is to take 10 or so “It would be like Married by America… only you wouldn’t get married, and it wouldn’t have to be in America”pictures of me and then have an online ScottIsHot vote for them. The top two or three pictures I’d post on HotOrNot.com with a link to my own site. I hear from lots of [girls, mainly] that they get lots of emails from people after seeing their pictures. It’d be really funny to see what turns up. It’d be like “married by America” scott is hot style. You all (the viewers) select what you want me to look like and what I should say in my personal profile, and I share everything and everyone I meet from it with you through this blog. I think that if I take it seriously, it’ll get really stupid really fast. But I think that if I play it all just for fun, it could be a pretty cool thing to do. If you have any more ideas, let me know, mmk?

Well I think I’m about blogged-out tonight. At this point my office word editor is telling me I’m at 2700 words. This reminds me of just a month or two ago when I was all ecstatic about writing a 2,000 word blog. I put it all over my profile and talked about it in person even. Now a few thousand words seem like nothing. Even a little while ago, typing that seven thousand word blog wasn’t much effort. I can only imagine what it’ll be like in the future. I think I have the length area mastered, and even a little overboard. I think now I should put some serious time and thought into writing less fluff and more intelligent paragraphs that make sense, make an impact, and are fun to read. Maybe tomorrow. I’m ready to tackle that homework now. Then, time to plop my pillow on the ground and crash on the floor. Thanks for tuning in to tonight’s show. I’m Scott, and you know who you are.

Tonight’s blog will be a little different. I don’t have that long to blog tonight, and I have some information I’d like to pass along, so I’ll be pretty straight forward with everyone. That’s not to say that tonight’s blog won’t be really funny though ^_- Anyway, the subject I’m talking about is random hate. Ok, I know, I’ve talked about this a lot already. However, this time I’d like to just let it all out and be more or less done with it. The reason I’m bringing it up again is because I’m getting more and more of it, it’s actually starting to bother me a little bit, and it can make me look really bad. Multiple people are trying to impersonate me and say really bad things using my name. I want to clarify some of the possible problems and hope that things will continue to turn out all right =o)

So, Scott, what’s the problem? Humm, there are so many different classifications of this problem and so many possible causes. However, in one sentence: “Some people have nothing better to do than to try to mess up my life.” This is extraordinarily clear if someone were to read the assorted letters of hate and IMs of rage I get from total strangers. Some of these people find it their personal goal (for some unknown reason) to try to put a little sting in my life. The “last straw” tonight was when someone took a conversation I had with him and changed every other line of it so it was obvious I wrote it, but the way he changed it made me look very gay (literally). The whole thing is so stupid. I don’t understand what people get from it, then again, the more I delve upon the subject, the more I am defeated by it.

Scott, what can you do about it? Nothing. Well, not much at least. One thing I’m doing is I’m writing this warning to everyone! The downside of anonymous communication via the internet is that anyone can pose as anyone else and mess things up. So, if you see something in the comments section that came from “Scott”, that doesn’t really mean it came from me. My word if warning to you all is to take every new post with a grain of salt. Don’t take it too seriously, and if you think something’s fishy, come to me about it. So, now that you know that much, I feel a little better about relaxing and just letting my comments boards fly. Is there anything more I can do? Well, yeah, actually. I do have some ideas. The two ideas that I can see myself actually doing are somewhat funny sounding, because they’re both web pages. First of all, I want to make a warning page. If someone’s borderline being mean, I want to have a pre-typed page warning them that what they’re doing is immature, and to please stop. Then, if they persist, I will add their screen name, email address, IP, computer info, description of what they did and/or any other information I feel like to a new page I will call the “wall of shame” where they can be publicly recognized as acting very immature. This page will, however, have a “remove my name” button that the user can click to go to a removal page. I haven’t figured out how I’m going to do it yet. I want it to be a very annoying process. My current idea is you have to wait a (meaningful) 100 word apology letter to me, personally, and I will remove your name. Besides ignoring them, the next best thing is deterring them by public humiliation. Also, I think I might have a “hack at will” flag for people who claim to be “elite hackers”. That flag will basically say, “If you’re a real hacker and want someone to mess up because he or she is acting really mean for no reason, target this person.” The funny part is that only newbies claim to be elite hackers. Their names will be posted on the list with a flag. And they will be hacked with the silent ‘real’ hackers. I love it! Woohoo! The newbie hacker wannabe gets burned! /throws confetti in the air and runs in small circles under it/ However, I do love everybody so I will warn the real hackers not to mess them up too much. And I will also make sure to be available to accept an apology to have their name removed (or green-flagged?) on the page. Now, you know me, I’m always wanting to make something cool and public and open source out of it. You thinking what I’m thinking? That’s right. I’m going to make it a nice pretty little script, and make it open source and downloadable! How cool is that?! If you have questions, ideas, tips, or suggestions, be sure to comment or contact me about it. … mmm … I smell newbie toast!

As you may already know, long ago a very strange, embarrassing, stupid, and awkward-to-talk-about rule was placed on me for as long as I live in this house. I, for no reason, am allowed to remove my bed from my room. Why would I ever want to do that? Well, first of all, I don’t use it. I sleep on the floor (feels better with my back) and have done so for months and months. So to me, my bed is useless. It’s huge, bulky, gets messy easialy, and acts as a junk collector. Durring the curious episode in past months where the subject of the location of my bed being changed was up for discussion, the topic was closed with a final verdict from my parents: “Your bed will not be allowed to leave your room for any reason no matter what.” Recently, the bed was REALLY bugging me and tonight I finally tried to bring it up again. It got no where, of course, but I did raise one interesting comment. I asked “what if I put it in my closet” and they said “pfft, if you can get it to fit in your closet and still have room for your clothes, then feel free”. I called their bluff ^_^ They didn’t think it’d fit. It fit with a half inch to spare! I lengthened my desk, opened up my floor, moved things around a little… my room feels a lot bigger now and I finally have horizontal room to work! Now, it’s late, I’m off to bed… err… floor.

[ VIEW MORE PICTURES OF MY ROOM ]

Since so many people read my blog , I’ve come to the conclusion that at least some of them must be affected by the things they suck in. Thus, the words I write directly control their attitude, thoughts, ideas, and attitudes. I’ve realized that the least few blog entries have been dull, boring, and uneventful. That kid was right when he said “why would anyone want to know what you ate for breakfast?” Despite the [disturbing] fact that people do repeatedly as me to write about simple things like this, I’ll have to agree that as a whole, the readers of my blog would much rather have some fun in the process. Why would anyone in their stable mind choose to subject themselves to the gruelingly boring rants about computer technicalities, intricate political ideology, and the stupidities of the things that happen to me during the course of the day? Well, ok, maybe that last one is interesting. Where am I going with this? I’m trying to say that my website (the core of which, subsequently, strangely, and disturbingly) is my blog. This little asylum for the simple-minded has benefits in almost every aspect of its existence. I love writing it, my friends love being in it, strangers love finding it, and everyone can relate to at least some aspect of the mysteriously revealing ‘Scott’ that’s presented on the curious “Scott is hot” website. Now that the introductive formalities are out of the way, let’s take a glance at what we’re going to be discussing in this afternoon’s action-packed post. First off, I’ll talk a little about this blog, the future of it, and the strange things that happen as a result of me posting my personal thoughts for everybody to read. I’ll then continue to talk about the interesting possibilities that arise when people think my blog is not really real. Then we’ll talk about you. Yes, you! “The reader of this blog”. From there, I’ll move on to the fun little newbies that we all see so much of on my quotes page, and I think I’ll wrap it up on what I want to do in the next few weeks.

June 16, 2001: blog entry #1 Sometime between this date and now, a switch has been flipped in my mind that turned me from the casual information typer to the recreational blogger. I’m addicted. I’m addicted big time. I don’t foresee myself even being able to stop, it’s become such a part of my day to day life. Some people stop for thirty seconds before they go to bed and ‘reflect’ on their day. Nuh uh, not me! I spend two hours dumping the day’s thoughts through my fingers so I can read what I wrote methodically and enter all the information back into my mind in a more methodical manner. I’ve noticed some definite advantages from doing this. By typing as fast as you can (preferably, unhindered by typing itself, just letting your thoughts pour out in a text editor) you can dump most of what you are thinking about into a tangible, organizable, sortable form. Who cares? Not so fast, hear me out. Once all my thoughts are floating on the page, I can go through and pick which ones I want to stick in my mind. I can highlight and erase certain areas and disregard them. (Maybe something I don’t want to think about?) The coolest ability is to spit out a memory, change it a little, and write about it. It doesn’t take much, and it works really well! Hey, it may be an escape from reality, but it sure is easier! Maybe I said, did, or didn’t do something that bothered me. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about when I say something (really small, maybe) that you did makes you sick to your stomach every time you think about it and you can’t stop dwelling on it. All you have to do it spit it out, change it so it’s like you want it, and stick it back in your head. You no longer have to think about it ^_-

“How has your blog changed you?” I got this one twice in my topic selection box in the last two weeks. I think it’s a pretty cool question! Well first of all, I’m able to go back and read the things I write. The strange part is that as I write, I don’t remember the things I talked about. Someone will say something about a paragraph I wrote last night and I’ll have no memory that I wrote it. As I go back and read it, it’s like I’m reading something I’ve never seen before! The point I’m trying to make is that by now, I blog so much so often that it feels like a natural extension of my mind. When you talk, you don’t think about how to say each word; you just open your mouth and let it out without thinking about it. By now, I do the same when I start writing in my blogs. The biggest advantage of blogging is that it really does put things in perspective. If I’m thinking about something “really big”, I can go back a month or two and look at the things that I thought were “really big” back then. It really puts things in perspective and reminds me the places of the various things in my life. Another way that my blog changed me is that spending so much time writing has really improved my writing skills. I mean, two days ago I was in a literature class and the teacher said “This is a Gordon rule class and you will all be required to write 6,000 words this semester” and I just sat there thinking “pfft, I blogged more than that two days ago!” I can sit down and spit out a two thousand word paper like it’s a tomato. Get it? I spit out tomatoes? (It’s from last night’s blog) Never mind. Does my blog affect me in bad ways? Sometimes, yes, it does. It’s rare, and in general I get a lot more good things out of it than bad, but it does definitely have negative effects at times. The first, strongest, and worst negative side effect of writing your thoughts where they can be read by anyone is that you cannot control who reads them and how they take them. I try to construct my sentences in ways that I know I will be taken the right way, but it’s happened many times where people read something and take it the TOTAL wrong way. Then these people usually jump to further conclusions and base decisions about their speculated misconceptions. As if that’s not enough, sometimes they don’t take the problem up with me. They’ll go to a friend or worse yet: a parent! By the time one of my parents gets this crazy misconstrued story, it can be so far from the original that you’d never know it derived from anything I ever wrote! Also, another disadvantage is that if someone wants to hurt me or get me in trouble, they can usually scan over my blogs and try to pick out little sentences that they can take out of context to make me sound bad or stupid. Yesterday I got a really weird line from one of my parents when s/he got irritated with me. “We’ll I’ll just wait until you leave for work then I’ll read your blog.” Is that a threat?!? It was like… how do you respond to something like that? I simply didn’t. Oh well, bring it on. If you or anyone else want to try to make me something I’m not by picking out little pieces of these writings and purposefully taking them out of context in order to try to start an argument or cause a problem, then it shows your own stupidity reflecting in your this attempt at making me look bad. Ok, so, it’s good, and can be bad. Am I glad I started it? You bet! Am I happy with it at all times? No. Can you limit it so only some users can read it? No, not really. If I could make it so only strangers could read my blog and people I know would be locked out, would I? You bet.

Ahh yes, we roll right into my next topic, who reads my blogs? This is a really interesting question, because I’m mostly clueless about this myself. I know that many strangers find my website and regularly revisit it. I know a few of the people that I meet ‘in the flesh’ who go to my website. For some reason, I get really uncomfortable talking about my website with other people in the real world. Why? I don’t know. Am I embarrassed about some of the things I write here? Yeah. Do I regret it? Sometimes. Will you ever change? Probably not. Anyway, the strangest people read this thing. I can’t list them without getting specific, but it’s the people that hardly know me that take the most liking to this little jumble of words. I think it’s the excitement of being able to take a glimpse into the mind of a madman through his nonsensical rantings about nothing in particular. It might be going a little far, but I think that everyone finds something about my (through my writings) that they can relate with. This personal-seeming connection is what makes it so fun to come back day after day to read the developments of peoples’ attachment to their anonymous “alter-ego-friend”. Like I mentioned recently, none of my family reads my site. It’s funny to me. The most repeating visitors I get are from total strangers. I get a lot of visits from people I barely know. I get few visits from people I know closely, and I get no visits from the people I am closest to. In other words, the more you know me, the less of a desire you have to read my blog. It’s funny, as I was writing this (literally at this exact second) my mom came in and asked “what’re you doing, writing your blog?” The strange thing was my answer: A quivering “no?” (I wasn’t really; I was using Photoshop editing the image I’m going to put in this area) But the curious part was my instant reluctance to admit that yes, in fact, I’m typing out my blog. I don’t know why I cringe when people talk about it and deny its association with a quick reactive “no”. Ahh well, I guess I’ll have to figure that out later. This paragraph is getting a little lengthy, and I’ll move on. I have something fun to talk about next =oD

Tons of people contact me from my site. 1 in 10 are dumb. I don’t mean to insult, offend, or put down anyone when I state simple facts. (hehe) Seriously, this paragraph is just for fun and it’ll poke at the ribs of some of the people who contact me and say utterly ridiculous things. As a pretext, I’d like to define the word “newbie” for those who might not be up on the lingo. If somebody is really stupid with computers, but acts like they’re really cool, they’re called a “newbie”. If someone’s just starting out but they don’t claim to be some incredibly knowledgably computer user, they’re a novice or a beginner. However, “newbie” is generally a negative term to attach to people who don’t know much but think they know it all. I will openly admit that I hardly know everything there is to know about computers. Lots of people mistake me for someone who’s a total genius with computer stuff, but it’s all wrong. I may know more than some people, but I can tell you that there are tons of people that know far more than I do. I’ll call myself an “intermediate”. “newbie” is sometimes shortened to “newb” as an abbreviation. Another word I’ll introduce you to is “leet”. Newbies think they are “leet”. Leet is an abbreviated misspelling of the word elite to imply that they are “the best of the best” at computers. Newbies will often claim to be “leet hackers” or something dumb like that. A quick note on hacking: if anyone tells you s/he’s a really good hacker, then they’re lying. If someone were at all knowledgeable about that stuff, they wouldn’t be talking about their (incriminating) hacking-oriented activities. If someone claims to be a hacker, it’s purely to try to elevate their social status (people think it’s cool?) and most likely they’re simply making it up to sound neat. Ok, so you know what newb is. You know what leet is. But what is “leet speak”? See how I can use numbers to look like numbers in the following sentence: I 4M C001. That says “I AM COOL” in “leet speak”. Leet speak is very slow to write, slow to read, annoying to deal with, and frustrating to deal with. Oh yeah, and the irony of it all is that only newbies talk in leet speak! No one with half a brain would come up and use words like “H4X0R” for “hacker” or say something as silly as “KUZ I G0T`Z’TA HAX” (quoting ‘TheBlackAlbum’).

The funniest thing is when newbies brag to me about things they (don’t really) know My quotes page is full of these comical ramblings! I have yet to be able to understand what drives these newbies to try to act this way, but I don’t think it’s something I’ll every be able to understand anyway. I’m not talking about people who’re simply a beginner with computers and are asking questions. I love talking to nice people about computer things and don’t at all mind if they don’t know much about computers. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the little lamer dude newbie who IMs me out of the blue and is like “I hacked you and can see your c: drive”. First of all, being on a unix-base system, I have no c: drive. Secondly, what a stupid think to say! I mean, honestly, if someone had access to my file system and decided to use it for ‘hacking’ purposes, would you go up to the person and tell them that? Of course not! Obviously, if someone comes up to me and says “I’m hacking you”, I have nothing to worry about, because they don’t know the first thing about hacking. The funniest thing is when newbies IM me threats and things. You would not believe how many people send me threats that they’re going to have my AIM account suspended. I get two or three of these every day. It gets so old. My thought on motivation behind things like this is insecurity mixed with jealousy for stability, or craving the results of knowledge (ability) without trying to work for it? Ehh, what do I know. Another thing I get a lot is people who try to do nothing other than insult me or make fun of me for things. They try to tell me things I say wrong or do wrong about my own computer system(s). The funny part is when I “play along” and get them to say outrageously wrong things but they say it in an arrogant way that’s sounds like “Scott, you are such an idiot. How could you not know that one plus one equals three?” At that point, I have more fun with the newbies than anything else. Lots of you tell me “Scott, you always say not to respond to bad things people say to you, so why do you talk to these guys?” Well, my answer is simple. These guys don’t say bad things to me. Almost everything they say is wrong, and really funny to me. I don’t know why I get such a kick out of these people, but they have fun “cutting me down” and I roll over laughing at every line they say. An example of a funny little thing was when the people on the AIM screen names ‘TheBlackAlbum’ and ‘ShynePo’ worked together (I think?) to try to both insult me at the same time. I don’t know which one it was, but I think one of them drew me with the cookie monster head the other day. Anyway, just last night I made some comment to TheBlackAlbum like “I’ve had enough of your newbishness” and then he didn’t respond back for a few minutes. Then, out of the blue, he responded “newbishness is not a word. It’s not in the dictionary.” And he included a link to dictionary.com looking up the (nonexistent) word “newbishness”. Obviously, newbishness was a word I made up to be funny that has the root word of “newbie” with the pre-suffix “ish” to imply language (like ‘elvish’, ‘newbish’) and used “ness” to describe the affect thereof. Thus, I created the word “newbishness” which obviously doesn’t exist in the dictionary. But the funny thing was that he didn’t know what that word meant by looking at it and tried to find the definition on dictionary.com /rolls eyes/ Some people never cease to amaze me. Well this section is long enough, so I think I’ll start to wrap up with my next project, then close the blog.

What’s this about a ‘ToDo’ script? Well, you may have heard me toss the idea around. I always have little things that I want to do but always seem to forget them if I don’t write them down and organize them all in one place. So, like my quotes page, I’d like to create a quick little “to do” list script. It’ll be incredibly simple. Just one page that edits the list (with a password) and that data (in html) is dumped in a text file that can be php included anywhere on a website. It’s just an idea at this point, but I think I’ll go through with coding it. I doubt it’ll take more than half of a page of raw code =o,

Well, that’s it for this afternoon. 2:28! 2 minutes to spare. How cool, I estimated this blog would be done at 3:30 and it’ll be that time exactly. Remember when I was all amazed “2000 word blog!” just a few months ago… I sat down and cranked out over three thousand words just now without even trying. I hope it was as of some interest to you! Feel free to comment, but please keep them respectful, ok? Also, send me blog ideas if you have them, I’d be happy to write about a topic you send in if it catches my eye. Until we meet again, keep away from the carrot-flavored pineapple!

Today, some really good things happened! I went to a track meet and didn’t have to run.. I got a letter today from UCF, I’ve been accepted! woohoo! Early admission baby /high fives/ Also, remember that no-ip tutorial I wrote that I told you about yesterday? I just got an email back from no-ip.com and they said it was great! I get a free domain name outta the deal, and a year of noip+ service! yipee! When my domain is about to expire in a year or so, I’ll have to think of a new tutorial to write ^_^ So, yeah, I’m pretty happy. I was gonna go out and lay on the couch and watch a movie (gentoo is still compiling on my workstation) but my mom was out there and she was like “what movie is it?” and I started to say “it..” “-isn’t not one of those japanese movies is it? I hate movies with subtitles”… ::blink:: (I’m not gonna let it get to me, I’m not gonna let it get to me, I’m not gonna let it get to me) Tonight’s still going allright, we’ll see how long I can keep it up before I break something =o,

Add one more blog entry to the list! How long can this last? Oops, I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. That’s one of the topics I’m writing about tonight, along with a small assortment of other interesting topics that make today’s post an essential part of a complete breakfast. Actually, since I post every night, it’d only make sense to set it as your start page so you can see the updates every morning, afternoon, night, and quantazoinker. Oops, I accidentally talked about my fourth dimension time layer that I use to get all my work done in without having to worry about mere earthly time constrictions. Oh well, it would have come out anyway. At least I didn’t accidentally talk about the shoeyboarx transformation that makes me invisible so I can walk in peoples’ houses without being noticed. Tonight I don’t have too long to post, but I think I’ll be able to knock out a healthy amount of material for you all. Buckled in? Good.

Speaking of “hate mail”, look what someone sent me today! Can you believe it? The very fact that someone sat down and spent the time to create this picture to be sent to me as an insult is so funny! If you don’t know what this original picture looks like, go to my “about Scott” page on the left. The picture in its original form is on the top. When I saw the picture, it wasn’t anything special. But when I realized it was intended as an insult, I fell out of my chair and hit my head on the floor I was laughing so hard! This guy thought he’d get to me for emailing me a picture like this? I’ll be he would be surprised to know that I found it so funny. I can only imagine he’d be amazed at how many people I showed it to tonight. I don’t think he ever expected that it would make the front page of ScottIsHot.com! Well, despite the intention of creating and sending me this wonderful work of art, I did thoroughly enjoy it and am very proud to have received it. The fact that people spend this much time on me just from reading my website (whether in hate or in praise, it makes no difference) gives me a [false] sense of importance. So, if you’d like, post some comments about this lovely picture, and I’m sure the creator will read them. To whomever you are that created this picture: thanks! You made my day more fun ^_^

However, not everyone is this nice. Today I got another death threat in my email, which made me think; “Did I ever talk about death on my blog?” Suddenly, I realized that I never once talked about how I plan to die in my website! Wow, that sentence sounded very strange. I don’t plan to die, but it’s obviously inevitable. I hate suffocation, and I don’t think I’d like to die in some extreme pain. When you think about it, what good ways are there to go? Well, recently I was in a conversation where someone was talking about being inhaled into the intake valve of a jet’s engine. Large bars prevent a human size object from being impaled in the blades, however if the bars were removed, I’m sure that a trip in a jet engine and out in ten thousand little slices would be a pretty quick and painless way to go. However, the chances of me being sucked into a jet engine are pretty slim. If you’ve ever heard of the website ‘rotten’ (which I have chosen not to link to or show you the url) you may have seen the collection of pictures of a man who was decapitated by a helicopter. It looked pretty cool… in… a… non-”I’m sick get my psychiatric help as soon as possible” way. His head was lying on an aircraft carrier in three of four main chunks (I think the rest flung into the sea) and I’m sure it was pretty quick and painless. However, the chances of this happening are also uncommon. People often talk about dying in your sleep. Boring! Who wants to go to sleep and die? I want adventure! What about electrocution? Is that supposed to hurt a lot? If it’s in large amounts of voltage, it eats you up so fast that you’re instantly dead, but what about in lower amounts of still-lethal electricity? Ol’Sparkey (electric chair) burns people with so much electricity that their skin is 120+ degrees (F) after the burn. Ever wonder why they put leather masks over the person’s face when they electrocute them? It’s because the liquid in their eyes gets excited from the electricity and causes the person’s eyes to explode shooting juices out from his or her head. Yeah, I just thought I’d share. Ok, now that I’m totally death obsessed, I’ll have to find a strange but peaceful image to back up this long paragraph. Ahh yes, here we go. You can see that it’s a person standing on the top of a building looking over with cool birds. Now that looks fun, but I’d be scared to stand that close to the edge! However, this brings me to my next possibility. What about accidentally falling off a building? I’m sure that it would be pretty painless if you died instantly, and what a fun last few seconds of your life, ‘eh? At least the bad guy in the movie “Ichi” thought that it was. Hum, I think I need to pick a different role model. I know that if I don’t write about this, I’ll get IMs and comments about it. And, I’m sure, if friends, family, relatives, or parents (the last three are a little redundant) find this I’ll be in getting psychological help: suicide. No matter how bad things got, are, or will get, this will never be an option. I think that it is a horrible thing to do no matter what the circumstances are. I believe that abortion is murder, euthanasia is murder, and suicide is no different. So, yeah, I thought I’d go on and get that one taken care of. No need to worry for Scott, I’m fine and dandy =oD

Scott, talk about what you eat! Wow, someone is asking weird questions. Anyway, I have no reason not to answer this one. It’s interesting, useful, and informative. I really like meats and breads. One food I really hate is tomatoes. I cannot stand tomatoes! And, mind you, tomatoes are in many foods. Spaghetti, Fettuccini, Pizza, Catsup, Lasagna, and lots of other ‘tomatoie’ foods I don’t really like. I will eat some pizza if it doesn’t have too much red sauce though. I never have catsup with French fries. Oh, I love goldfish (the cracker) Steak is really good, cheese is good too. I love cheesy stuff. Oh! Don’t forget the garlic stuff. I like garlic bread. Yeah, so, for whomever asked me this odd question, I hope this answered it!

What’s going to happen to this site? This is a question that I ask myself all the time! Right now, I’m still in my first six months of owning Scott is hot dot com. I think I will continue to renew my domain so people can always find me here. When KnightHacker.com was shut down, it really hurt me a lot that the name had to change. I hate it more than anything when people change their email addresses, screen names, or website URLs. Of course, after I make that known, my own gets changed on me. Oh well! I think it’s good now. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in the future. Will it change to a less immature-sounding domain in the future? What about when I get married? [scary thought right there] Will I keep this domain name when I have kids? As they get older? What will change? What will be hidden? What will I add? How big will it get? How few or many people will go to it? Will my wife/kids come here? Will my children read what I wrote about Misia…? This paragraph is nothing but questions… questions that have no answers. I just thought I’d type it anyway though.

Well I’d better finish up here. I covered a little ground and it looks like I’m going to end up in the 1500 word range. Did you notice anything different about the blog tonight? No spelling errors! I’m testing out a new way to incorporate spellchecking inside of my blogging system so I don’t make as many typos and silly misspelled words. Well, if anyone has any questions, comments, complaints, or commitments to this site (you may need help if that last one applies to you), email me, IM me, or comment your thoughts. Thank you for reading tonight’s blog! I’m Scott, and you know who you are.

postnote: I’m sorry I completely forgot to talk about my personal life today. My classes, my ideas, my thoughts, etc. I’ll catch up tomorrow. I promise ^_^

Ahh yes, I went to school today. All new classes, all new professors. Actually, I only had two classes. One of them (a math) was in the early morning. I went to work after I was done with that class. Then, I had a three hour nightclass that got let out an hour and a half early! I won’t bore you with details because there weren’t any worth mentioning. Well, ok, maybe a few things. The professor I have for world literature is not my kind of guy. He’s one of those purely psychological reason people. He walks in the room “Is anyone here hurting?”. It’s like, get a taste of reality, and just teach the freaking class. My math teacher seems really nice. However, one of the required materials for this class shouold be a hearing aid, because she’s so darn quiet. Tonight I saw a guy from a class I had last summer and he was like “hey Scott!” (I was impressed he remembered my name) and he continued, “what’re ya’ doin’ here?” and I was just like… “uhh… classes… college… um… any of this a-ring-n-a-bell?” Oh yeah, my world lit teacher is like “in this class, you will write six thousand words before the semester is over!” and everyone ooooed and awwwwed and maaaaaned and I just sat there thinking “I blogged that last week in one sitting!” Oh yeah, and to finish off this unstructured and directionally pointless paragraph, one of the girls in my math class is really weird. However, she was very intersting to listen to. She was wearing a tshirt today that showed pokemon-style animated dragon toons in different “positions”, if you get my drift. It was very scienfitic, like a reference chart. I laughed when I saw it, despite how hard I tried not to ^_^

I will write about five user-submitted topics tonight! Then, I must go to sleep. I am very tired. I did not sleep well last night, and even though I did get a good seven hours, I was tired all day. I fell asleep (literally) at my desk at work today. My head falling cracked my neck a little and the audible snap broke my sleep. Even now, I’m having a tough time keeping my eyes open, so I’ll try to push through these. All of these have been emailed me by the “tell me what to blog about” page. I’ve included a button at the bottom of every blog entry if you have questions or ideas for topics to write about. However, please note that I may change it around a lot so even if a blog was inspired by you, it might be changed so much that I don’t bother quoting your email. That’s why you have to be specific! Ok, heregoes.

“Scott, you’re obsessive!” After proceeding to list examples of previous ‘obsessions’ (knighthacker, website, scottishot, blog, lcd, bsd, linux, aimpoo, etc) someone asked me what this is all about. So, I guess I’ll tell you. I’m sure you’ve noticed my strange little obsessions with seeminly random and oftenly stupid ideas, concepts, objects, or activities. If you haven’t noticed, then well, maybe you will if you think about it for a minute. I get one idea and it gets stuck. Badly. I think of other things to do, but none seem as important as that one goal I try to reach. In time, the goal gets more and more distant, I grow more and more tired, and suddenly a new goal looks mighty close, so I give up and go for a new one. That’s my two cents. I don’t have all the answers. I might even be blatently wrong. I can look at other people and try to guess why they do things, but there is no way I can look at myself and figure it all out. So, I guess, in short, my answer to why I do these things is “I haven’t got a clue.” If anyone has any input, feel free to comment it in (using very kind words, of course).

“Scott, why don’t you meet women?… you sure talk about them enough! It would do you good to find a nice girl to spend time with” This one I got a few days ago but I’ve been struggling with a clear answer. Once again, this is a question that involves lots of my own thoughts and perspectives on things that I can’t self-analize very well. However, I will say what I think I know and leave the rest open to interpretation assisted by those who choose to comment to this post about the subject. First off, I’m not gay =op Lots of people think, say, or assume that. Why? Don’t get me started on that topic. Anyhow, let me assure you that this is not the case ^_- I get lots of strange questions about the whole girl thing though. I’ll get emails from twelve and thirteen year old boys talking about ther girlfriend blah blah or I’ll get a message from some girl blah blah and I don’t know where I’m going with this sentence so I’ll just kill it. Anyway, I don’t think it’s a good idea to date purely fot the sake of dating. If a guy is to spend a lot of time around a girl, it should most certainly be for a reason. Like I’ve said on this blog before, I strongly support abstinence until marriage. I take this concept into my personal life and stick to it. When sex is removed as a ‘reason’ to have a relationship with someone, you can start to see where I’m coming from. The things I say make more sense. Ahh, so that’s why he wants a girl with a personality. Ahh, so that’s why he always talks about honesty and kindness and all that other fluffy stuff. Ahh, so that’s why people think he’s gay =op Yeah, well, anyway, I don’t aggressively seek a girl at this point in my life because right now. However, I don’t hold my eyes closed either. Maybe, just maybe, if a nice person comes along who’s pretty cool and fun to be around… then you’ll get to read about her in my blogs =op Speaking of which, have you ever seen someone you could swear you know but don’t remember how? There’s this one girl today I saw that gave me this blinding flashback to some… time…. I don’t remember! I lost her, I couldn’t find where she went, I couldn’t recreate the flashback, and I couldn’t remember what she looked like, or how I knew her. Or… did I ever know her? weird /twilight zone music here/ Feel free to comment on this one but please be nice. I know I put myself in an attackable position by answering this question. Just think before you post.

“Does your family read your blog?” This is an interesting question. JT asked me this one. My anser? ‘no’! Weird, huh? It’s true though. I don’t know if it’s the nonsensical rambelings, the extended paragraphs, or the horrible spelling, but something makes them not want to go to my site. My parents go to my website every once and a while when they’re mad at me to see if they can find something to chew me out about. It hasn’t happened recently though. That was mainly in the track/misia/knighthacker days. I am so thankful those are over. Now, it feels like smooth sailing. My siter’s never been to this website: but she talks about it and hears about it all the time. I think it’s funny that no one from my family ever goes here, but I also do think it’s for the best. If I knew that they were reading this (and, as parents usually do, twist its meaning into something horrible) I wouldn’t be able to write the same. I’d be unclear, hazy, boring… Where’s the fun in that? Now, one thing that did send a little chill up my spine was the amount of the people from the track team that read this blog. In fact, they may be reading it now. This is something I never expected in the past. Now that I’m gone, how much stranger still is it that they read this thing? Anyway, there were some incredibly old track-unfriendly posts that I censored (by ‘hiding’ them for 600 days, just long enough so I won’t know most of them anymore) so I don’t think I’ll get any problems from that. And, if you’re someone who got to those and may have been offended, sorry! ^_^;; However, I’ll compliment your hacking skills, considering they’ve not even been made public on this website =op So, does my family read my site? never: unless they want to find something to chew me out about ^_-

“how do people know you’re real?” and “who do you consider true friends” are still planned… but I’m too tired. I know, I’m an idot. Oh well, tomorrow night. Goodnight everyone!

scott? changing something? no way… Just so you know, tonight’s blog will [hopefully] be different than the rest in a positive way! It’s going to be more interesting to read, with more juice and less boring stuff. I’m also going to see about getting a little more personal, and, oh yeah, short this time! Ok, so what’s this all about? You may have noticed me [indirectly] asking what people think about the way I write my blogs. I figure that if I find out what people think is the most interesting to read, it will not only be more interesting for the people who go to my website, but [my ultimate goal is eased because] when I come back and read these writings in the [distant?] future, it can be a more enjoyful process. I’m sure your curious as to know the things that are going to change! Verywell. I wish I could uniquely give credit to all the individuals who give me feedback on my blogs and writing style via email [or the 'contact me' form on this website]. However, for time constraints, I’ll just have to sum you all into one big group. You know who you are! =oD And, if you’re not in the group of people who email me but read my blogs a lot, shame on you! I certainly go through a lot to write them, and you sure spend a long time reading them, you should at least give some formal feedback if you get any movement [hopefully not BM] from reading these postings. Ok, so, what’m I doing here? I’ll tell you, but in a new paragraph.

The suggestions I’ve taken seriously mainly relate to the writing style with one exception. I’ll start with the exception. I have gotten [a suprisingly large amount of] comments from people about the images I use. In short, the changes I’d like to make are as follows: I’d like to use fewer images; I’d like to make the images more relating to the topic at hand; I’d like to make the images have more contrast (very colorful or black and white, not as many pastel-colored ones); and I’d like to start showing [a few] images of [female? ^_-] humans again. So, there ya’ go. In fact, tonight, to compensate for my past overuse of images, I’ll only use one for the blog. (It’ll also cut down on storage space and loading time, I guess) When it came to the content section, I had tons of ideas, and most of them were really good. The concepts I’ve selected to work on are as follows: Speak more fluently, like you’re talking with another person. (don’t use so many extended words: use contractions whenever possible); Use semi-formal grammar to illustrate the natural pauses and pitch changes in your voice as if you were speaking; use [brackets] to imply thoughts that you think but don’t actually feel like saying; and try not to talk about things that are boring unless they’re meaningful to read back on (ie: boring now, boring to reflect on, even if I did write it). Also, I’m going to try to blog shorter but more often, with clearly defined topics. By hitting three or four topics a night, it’s a lot easier to read than a (seven thousand word) post about a gazillion things. And a word about the brackets… I think this is a really interesting concept. I’m thinking of writing a script to hide the words in brackets but put a little symbol in its place so when you hover over it it shows you the text inside? I don’t know. To clarify again, I’d like to restate that the brackets imply things I think but don’t actually say. If we were speaking in a normal conversation, they’re the little details that would go through my head but I wouldn’t actually say. The story is the same if you don’t read them, and the sentences [actually] flow together fine if you do remove them. I just put them there because I feel they’re too unimportant, silly, or embarrassing to say. The irony of all this being that I’m typing it all anyway, so I’m not really hiding anything anyway. My hope for it is that it will give [the future] me a glimpe into my own mind and the ability to see the line between what I say and what I hide. ^_-

Hate mail! Why do I get so much?! This is a topic that I was somewhat avoiding but I think I need to address it eventually, so why not now. Actually, the thing that triggered today’s date for this topic is the curious thing that happened to me earlier today in the car. I was with another family this morning and we were driving and somehow the topic of hatemail came up. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll explain it for you. Hatemail is a term I use to describe mail that has no other intent than to try to [mentally] hurt me. Who sends these aweful things? It’s hard to tell most of the time, so much of it is anonymous! I mostly just shrug them off as people who are having a really bad day, find my site, try a tutorial, get frustrated, and decide to try to flame me with their fiery words. What do they say? Well 9 out of 10 are really really immature. They sound like nine year olds writing emails. I get enought of it now that it doesn’t affect me [that I know?] so I can just laugh at it. I read these things and it’s just like… “did these people just learn how to cuss or something?” They try to use swear words in crazy places that don’t even make sense. A cuss word in itself is meaningless. What a fool someone would be to stick a bunch of them together randomly and email it to me. Also, something I laugh at a ton is when people see all the Asian things on my website and conclude (falsely) that I, too, am Asian. They use these ‘grounds’ for slurring out Asian racist jokes at me! I do get pretty mad at it, because I do have many very kind Asian friends (and a sister who is from China at that). I can delete these with a low-eyebrowed stare. However, I did say nine out of ten earlier. The one in ten seems to come from seemingly intelligent people who take a few minutes to think-out [or so it seems] their method of attack and carry it out with quick but steady slices. The worst ones [that stick in my head for a few days] have zero swear words or racist comments. These people go for the throat, and slice down. They stab my website, the cut up my family, they rip at my ‘accomplishments’, and they lunge for my throat [often with very serious sounding death threats, actually]. A few days ago I got one via email that was much like this. Trying to respond to hate mail of any time is an aweful thing to do! By reading it and sitting down to write back [what would probably be just as 'bad' content in an] email trying to slice up the writer, it admits defeat. Even trying to defend yourself anything more than one statement (in my opinion) is letting the other guy win. Obviously, the horrible things these people say about me are not true. A weak man would fight. In my opinion, anyone can fight back with simple words. A strong man can stand there and do nothing. Not only would fighting back accomplish the wishes of the attacker, but it would also bring further risk to yourself and also give your time and energy to a wasted cause. Relying [fight back] to hate mail is counterproductive, inconclusive, and ignorant. The only way you can win is to completely ignore it. Let it slide right on by ya’, and you will be the unscratched victor. Yes, people write really mean things about you. But it you think about it all in perspectives, look where it’s coming from. What kind of depressing, sad, hopeless life of a human would take the time and get the enjoyment from sitting down and writing horrible things to a person like me. I feel very sorry for the people who send me these horrible messages, and I pitty their miserable lives. How can I say such a derogatory statemt without becoming one of them myself? Well, I’ll yet again clarify that when I say they have miserable lives, these aren’t the words that come out of my mouth. Oh no, take one look at the things they write that comes out of their mind, and you too will realize how much of a dark, gloomy, sad, depressing, and hopeless life they must have.

Whoa, I got carried away. To finish up that idea, I [stupidly] threw out the phrase “hatemail from my website” in the car today around this other family. I say ’stupidly’ because I really didn’t want to go into explaining it ^_^;; When I try to talk about things with my tongue, I’m sure you can understand how badly I could mess something up when I’m caught off guard. So, in a brief, not only did I try to define hatemail and how it relates to me, but also continue with my first topic. When I spat it out, I felt so stupid. I came out really wrong, and sounded really bad! I think that it sounded like I was begging for attention and/or trying to get people to feel sorry for me and/or trying to let people know that I was feeling sorry for myself. /Shivers/ I hate talking with the tongue! It messes so many things up. Don’t get me wrong, I can say things and have them taken wrongly even in the type. Anyway, so, yeah. I’m an idiot. And now that I think about it, one (or maybe two?) of these family members will probably read this entry. I don’t feel like erasing it though, because it applies to so many past conversations when I throw out quick definitions of ‘bad’ things that are purely facts as far as I’m concerned but the “listening party” takes my defining them as a “aww let’s all feel sorry for scott” cry. Somebody hit my head with a really big goldfish. Actually, an awkward sumup: If you’re a member of the family I’m talking about or one of the people in one of the ‘past events’ I just described, don’t come to me and ask about this! Just pretend you never read it (which probably will be the case anyway) and I’ll just assume the same ^_-

School tomorrow, I’m gonna wrap up. Wow, my last night of Christmas break is almost up! I will have a lot to talk about tomorrow, and all the wonderful blog ideas I’ve been getting from my email! No long extended goodbyes tonight. No sir-ee. You know how badly I hate taking a whole paragraph to say goodbye. I once had this cousin’s aunt’s roomate’s vet’s father’s maid’s vaccuum seller’s haircutter’s pharmacist’s biggest client’s grandson’s best friend’s brother’s sister (twice removed) who took forever saying goodbye. Pfft, idiot.

Ahh yes, here I am. Miss me? I formally apologize for the delay between the last entry and this one. I’ve been very busy and had many obligations that I couldn’t get out of. Not only was school demanding, work challenging, and my home life very active but… aww forget it I’m tired of making excuses. School? Pfft it hasn’t even staretd yet. I just didn’t post because I got lazy! Ok, now that the stupid introduction is out of the way, I’ll continue with my plans for total world domination! Oh wait, back up. I picked up the wrong notecard. I’m going to continue with my plans for tonight’s blog! That’s right, the ever-boring but continuously existant redundant nonsensical rambelings of a lunatic mind. I use that line too much don’t I? Yeah, I do. Uhoh, now the arguing starts. Hey, you know what? I think Scott shoud talk entirely in the third person… or at least… start to. What do you think? You don’t like it? Forget you, I say that Scott does what I want, and I want him to speak from my mouth. Got that?! Jeez, the nerve of you people. Ok, you know what? forget it. Have it your way. Scott can speak back from himself.

Gawhh! Comments deleted? What happened?! Well, truth be told, it was a little booboo. There was some construction going on in the webserver side and I did make backups, but I make them too early. I lost about thirty six hours’ comments. I almost lost that crazylong blog I spent so long typing the other night, but I was able to pull it out of my web browser’s cache to repost. /phew!/ So, for those of you who are wondering where the 23 comments to last night’s post went, now you know. And, oh yeah, why’d the server go down? Well I’ve been noticing lots of strange little problems and so have the guys that hosy my website, so he physically switched me to a new server and reset all the stuff. I have logs that actually work now =oD

CSS? XHTML? Validation? Wha?! Well you may have heard me throw around the idea in the past. I’m sick and tired of the messyness of my code. I’m almost sick of it enough to actually do something about it. Has thispoint been reached yet? Uhh.. nuh uh. My site works fine at the moment and renders decently in IE, netscape, opera, mozilla-based browsers, and links. Lynx renders it improperly (multiple pages instead of tables) but it all works. The work I’d do would take a while for me to learn and impliment and it wouldn’t make my site look at all different. It’s purely for the sake of knowing that I have cleaner code under the hood. Actually, when I was writing the site layout that I’m currently using today, you can view the source and at the bottom of every page I write a little message. Cute, huh? No one’s caught it on their own yet, and it’s been months! I’m very suprised. CSS stands for cascading stylesheets and I already use CSS for lots of my text and table styles, however when I say CSS in this post, I’m implying that i’d be using CSS to control my layout instead of tables. Tables were never intended for the layout purposes that they’re so oftenly used for today. And, oh yeah, XHTML. What is XHTML? It’s simply HTML that’s properly formatted by the XML coding standards. w3schools.org has more information on both of these languages. You should take a look at that website, it’s very helpful.

School’s coming up. Today is my last schooless Friday night for a long time. My first class starts on Monday (3 days). Christmas break seemed long, but I’m a little bumed that I didn’t do either of the two big projects I was planning on. I never got my LCDs to work well enough to sell them, and I never did make AimPoo opensource. My excuses? LCDs, even if I sold them at 10$ earnings per unit would not sell that often enough to make it worthwhile. And AimPoo? AimPoo my butt =op I’m so sick of the whole project that the very thought of working on it makes me want to vomit. I still struggle with the idea of whether or not I should have ever written it. I can’t think of more than one thing good that it did. What’s the one thing? Well, I got to get to know Rei, and he’s an awesome guy. I feel bad because I act like a jerk around him sometiems… /sigh/ I need to talk to the guy. Anywho, now you know, and I’ll be sure to post about my days at school. When it comes to blogging, I found it a lot easier to blog when I was in school, because not only would I be able to do it over lunch, but the social interaction gave me a more dynamic perception of the world around me that kept on unlocking new doors for topics to talk about. Speaking of which, on to the next.

I have… no life. This is true, but not in a bad way! I love the way that my life has unfolded so far and am very pleased with the directions in which it’s heading right now. I wouldn’t change anything ^_^ However, when compared to [what is usually referred to as] “a normal teenager life”, mine seems so dull! I mean, dang. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t do anything, I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t even really have friends that I do things with, I do my school, I do my job, I do my computer work, and um, that’s about it. Someone pointed this out to me again a little while ago and I just thought it might be mentioning, it’s very true, strangely odd, but fine with me nonetheless. If nothing else, I might get some good comments about the topic. ^_-

Wow! I am dead! I had so much to talk about, and it’s all written down, and I only got through 3 of the (about) 30 topics I wanted to address tonight. I’m yet again too tired to continue. It’s only 2:17, but I wasn’t able to sleep last night and woke up early and ended up very tired all day. I need to try to reclaim some of the lost sleep. I’d best depart. I haven’t used any images so far, so I think I’ll just reach into my little back of abstract art and slap a few pics on to add color. As for those topics, I’ll be sure to add them tomorrow. Maybe I should go for a 10,000 word blog? That’s a hundredth of a million words! Crazy. Ok, I’m out. goodnight everyone!

But wait, there’s more! Call within the next fifteen minutes and…. oh wait wrong line. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah! See below this entry how there’s a link to comment? Well, right below it is a link to recommend blog topics! HOW COOL!!!! Now you can have the power to influence the things that I write about on this site? How cool is that?!

Well, the time has come to write my blog for the day. However, I’m simply exhausted. I don’t feel like writing more than a paragraph! So, I’ll give you all a raincheck. That’s right. I’m writing this to tell you that I’m not writing this tonight. ::blink::

If you’re saddned, then don’t be! I’ll let you in on a little secret:

Tomorrow afternoon (before the blog) I’m going to add a cool little feature to this site ^_^

Don’t you wish you knew what it is?

note: comments closed on this post, use the previous posts’ comments board ^_-

This is the proving ground. This is tough. I’m going to have to place semi-meaningful information into this small section of my website and have it amount to over five thousand words. This task’s difficulty is increased by the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to talk about, the realization that there’s no logical reason for motivation behind this strange goal, and the major wedgie that will form from sitting in this small desk chair for too long. Ok, I’m nearing the “too much information” level. On top of that, I’m aware of my own potently insane level of perfection I expect of my self. That’s right, I just googled the word wedgie to make sure I spelled it correctly. You know those fund raiser call-a-thons? That’s what this is. I’ve got some water, a stopwatch, and some light clothes on. This is going to be a tough workout ladies and gents, but I’m sure we’ll get through it! I don’t expect anyone to sit down and read this whole blog (however long it gets to be), so don’t get worried. Maybe, at the most, people can read the bolded section at the top of each new thought and pick out one or two paragraphs they’d like to read. For those of you who are planning to read this whole thing… I feel sorry for you. I may have”almost no life”, sitting down and writing five thousand words, but it’s the people who have “absolutely no life” who sit down and read them all. We’re in this together, let’s kick it!

What’s up with that music? Well, actually, I guess that’s not a question you would ask. That is, of course, unless you are standing behind me as I am typing this and can hear what I’m listening to (which is a very scary thought, when you stop to think about it). I’ve had this strange little kick the last few hours. I added my entire japanese music folder into my xmms playlist and use the j key to search for songs to play. After every song is over, instead of going to the next, I catch it and tell it what to play. The strange part? I can’t seem to stop listening to this one genre. I can’t describe it. I’ll call it GKBM. Girls Kicking Butt Music. It sounds like a group of girls performing light-rock (with more melody and less background that most ‘rock’ by its term). Most often, only two types of people listen to this strange style of music: teenage girls in Japan, and gay guys in america. I can thankfully say that I conform to neither one of these molds, but I am at a loss of words as to why I keep listening to these songs. I guess I can sum it up by saying that no other songs “fit the mood” right now. Even Misia, despite how much I love her music, can’t keep my going for a five thousand word blog! I’ll have to re-open my mp3 section of this website so I can let you all hear a little bit. What do you think of that?

my website viewers choose what I wear?! Uhh, it was just an idea. Well I guess I’d bestter back up. While I’m adding the mp3 section again, I’d love to add some more stuff to this site! I’m thinking that I’m going to have some solid box that goes somewhere on my front page that can quickly inform people of news or get information. I really want to incorporate more user feedback and, intern, add some user-control over the content that’s cranked out of this site. My current idea (and the true reason behind the layout change) is to place this info at the top. See how my banner is all the way across the top, and the content starts beneath it? If I want to share news, show information, or maybe add a user-input form, I can just insert another inch high box imbetween the banner and the content. Maybe I’ll have it only show up on my index.php? who knows. Anyhow, I’ll think of something and hopefully add it soon. I would like to post questions and get user feedback in the form of answers. Suggestions, comments, thoughts, possible blog topics, there’s so much I could do! That and, oh yeah, I want to open up a voting system. However this voting system wouldn’t be like most of the other voters you see on other peoples’ sites – nuh uh. Unlike the “what is your favorite color?” style polls that have no meaning or bearing on real life actions, my polls would actually contain real life personal information, with my actions being shaped as a result of the poll. For example: “Should I wear binary shirt to the first day of classes at college next monday?” Stupid this idea may sound, but I think it may actually be pretty interesting. I don’t know, it may be just another dumb idea of mine. Comment this one up big time, mmk?

I know that if I didn’t add this paragraph, I’d have gotten twenty IMs asking “Scott, why did you include a picture of a blue bird in your blog when it has nothing to do with anything on the page?” Well, if you’re one of those people who just theroetically would have IMed me that had you not read this paragraph and you still know what I’m saying, you are weird. If you’re totally confused and just want to know why I did the blue bird thing, I’ll tell you. Blogs are sometimes cool. Text is boring. Before I get into reasons, check out that blue bird border. Isn’t it cool how I made strange tile effects on the edges to make it blend into this site? It’s something that’s so simple and easy to do that most people don’t stop to try it. I love the effect! Some people might try to insult me saying that it’s “newbish” leaving big honkin’ square edges with the obvious stamp-like brush, but I think it adds to the art! So… ok… why? Why pics at all? The images spice up the blog, give me a place to show things, brighten up the page, and attract people to read the posts. I do know of people who go to my site and don’t read anything unless they find a picture that they like. Only after spotting a cool picture do they stop and read. Why do I add pictures? It’s for lots of reasons. Any special reason? no. Do the pics relate with what you’re talking about? Usually, but not always. So, there, now you know. The bird’s name is bob, by the way.

Speaking of toenails, what happened to ‘mister john’? Oh you know what? I already typed this. I then accidentally deleted it. So now I’m retyping it… yeah. anyway, mister john (we’ll call him MJ now) is a very silly person. I’m going to have so much fun! You see, we takled a lot on IM, and he is the strangest person to talk to. I have all of our conversations logged, and I think I will have a blast going through them and making little webpages that describe the story of how his fatal beg for my software ended up with me getting him fired. He work(ed) at the [awesome] hosting company that I’m with right now. Everyone there is really cool… but this guy… wow… This man has done so many stupid things. He guessed the password that my friend used for the screen name TA4 after I gave it to him. He logged on TA4 and impersonated me trying to trade my software for homosexual pornography. He has physically used and installed applications on a laptop that is not his in secret, while clocking hours on the company payroll. He not only gave me detailed system specs on his computer, but he also gave me his hard drive serian numbers wich I used to track-back to show my friend proof that he was on his computer. When I offered to keep it all a secret in exchange for some coperation, he cussed me out. Then, when he got fired because of it, he came to me and had the guts to ask me for unlocking keys on the very screen names he stole! And, if that’s not enough, only yesterday he IMed me trying to say that he made it all up. “You made what up”, I asked. “everything. paul (my friend), his brother, the firing, it was all a ploy to get 3 letter screen names for you were conned like a sucker”… “what about my hosting?” … “I made that up too”… [pause] … “then how I am being hosted?” … [silence] Yeah so, if you’re interested, keep an eye out. I’m going to make a few fun little pages showing all the possible “outs” I gave MJ and all the slack I cut the man and how he ignored it and pushed forward acting like an idiot and getting himself fired. As we speak, he’s launching some stupid script kiddie program to try to DoS attack AIM. Give me a break. I just got 40 IMs from random screen names. What does he expect me to think? “ooo this guy’s leet”. /rolls eyes/ Oh yeah, I left out the part where he threatened to sue me. ^_^ He doesn’t even know my full name. Nor my phone number. He doesn’t even know my address. He can’t even contact me outside of email, yet he thinks he can threaten me? Where here I sit knowing his name and address and access to his birth date, bank account information (and detailed checking account information), credit card information, his social security number, and lots of other fun information! I wouldn’t consiter him “owned”, but he certainly is playing with fire every time he sets out to piss me off ^_^

People (like him) are really starting to get annoying. I mean, it doesn’t hurt me in any way, but it does waste my time and make me really sad. I feel sad for MJ, honestly. I also feel sad for other people like MJ. Where do they find happyness? Do they find it at all? Why can’t they just act normal? Do they act like idiots in person too? What is wrong with them? Can they get help? Will they? I feel sorry for his [future?] wife. Actually, it’ll most likely be a husband. At any rate, what’s up with these people? Do they have any direction in their life? I guess it’s just me overanalizing stupidity. That, in itself, is a very stupid thing to do. However, back to the original topic, annoying people are just… annoying! They flood my inbox with junk, they try to DOS my aim account (which is so dumb), they try to break my website by posting 100 page comments (?), it’s like… I can’t believe I bother cleaning up after these people. Do they really bave nothing better to do? I need to give them a hobby. I they need to grow up and act like this.

What would be cool to sell in a Japanese/anime store? I was asked this question yesterday at work. One of the programmers’ relatives is setting up a store and trying to sell some Japanese goods in America (shipped-in from his friend who lives in Japan) and he is asking for ideas of what to sell. On the spot, I couldn’t think of very many things. I mentioned non-mainstream anime (not blockbuster rental stuff), non-mainstream CDs (not the easy to find cookie-cutter pop music of yaida hitomi, ayumi hamasaki, megumi hayashibara, and other incredibly famous singers, but rather the harder to find stars), legitimate US region coded DVDs (so we dont have to buy pirated dvds), and of course candy (pokey). If any of you Japanese-crazed teenagers have ideas, leave them with me, ok? I’ll relay them to the person who is looking for things to sell ^_-

Everyone loves ScottIsHot.com! It was amazing! When I posted that LAE and TA4 were bothering me (mister john signed on paul’s sn ta4 for a while) it was incredible the amount of people joined up aginst him. I didn’t even tell them to! So many people got REALLY mad at mister john and were grouping up to try to inflict really bad things on the guy. While smiling at how serious everyone seemed to be at plotting the demise of such a stupid person, I was shocked at how many people were ready to give up their time to join “scott’s cause”. In other words, a lot of people feel ‘connected’ with this site. It is now at a point that when someone attacks the writer, the readers get offended too! Isn’t is crazy? I kindof like it! I could raise an army with my blog =o) In the last month of 2003, over seven thousand different people viewed my website!

So, why do so many people like me? I’m nice, smart, hot, and gosh darnit! people love me. However, beside the obvious (^_-) it’s a very interesting question. I’ll be honest and say that I don’t believe these people really like ‘me’. From what they see on my site, most people don’t even know me! The real world Scott is a different person than the Scott so beautifully illustrated in these meir blogs. The real Scott is so much more boring than the one you read about ^_^. As far as why people like reading about me; It’s not me they like. I think it’s the idea. I, in my writings, represent the perfect image of a teenager. Although usually in low levels, the combination of success, happiness, planning, and control over ones own life creates the perfect balanace that every young person strives for. Most people have three of these, but lack in one. By equally casting thought in all of these areas, you can create a more balanced day that leads to a more stable life. Just a little Scott tip =o)

Hey, I saw a pretty good [American] movie yesterday! Someone told me it stunk so I almost didn’t go see it. The movie? “paycheck”. Skip the rest of this paragarph if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to spoil it. Sure, certain props were very stupid (an open hard drive used as a tool, fibre optic strands flashing blue to represent electrical wire, etc) but overall, I thought it was really cool. The concept of memory erasing after knowing your future is an awesome way to avoid the paradox of changing your future because you know it. Two things in the visual effects really impressed me. First off, how many (james bond) movies have you seen where someone’s being shot at and bullets only land around their feet? In this movie, when someone’s shot at, the sparks are from in front of them, as if they really were being fired. In bond-like movies, sparks only show up right under the peoples feet when they run, which is soooo stupid. Another thing I liked was the amount of debris that was seen flying around durring the explosions. It really made it feel a lot more realistic. Check out the movie if you haven’t. It’s not “absolutely incredible”, but it is really fun. My favorite part was when the girl was controlling the robotic arm and fighting the bad guys with it =oD

Oh man, you couldn’t imagine how much of a pain class registration is -_- Because i’m dual-enrolling, technically my college should be free. However thanks to sum computer glitch, lots of the people at my college who are DE (dual enrolling) students have it in their accounts that they owe money. I even got a bill! This money, if not set to zero by 7:00 jan 6′th (2 hours ago) will cause me to have all of my classes automatically dropped. However, if I pay this bill (which I’m not supposed to) it wouldn’t fix it. I went to the DE office of my school the last two days and spent about five hours there. I think I got it worked out eventually, but man it was a pain. I went with one of my friends who had a cellphone w/ a usb connector to get the internet on his laptop. Every time the lady told us to walk across the hall and go to the comptuer room to check our acconuts, we just whipped out the notebook and did it right there. I was determined not to let this go unresolved ^_^ Bottom line, I’m going to be dropped out of all 19 hours (6 classes), and I’m going to have to march back to the DE office w/ my class list and get them to override those classes so I can get in them again. I can only imagine what was going through her mind as she watched us conncet to the internet through a laptop in her office ^_^ beautiful.

I watched TV today. I almost never watch tv! It was relaxing. I almost fell asleep. In fact, I got so bored, that I turned it off and went in my room and took a nap. I just can’t watch tv anymore. I don’t get how people sit in front of it for hours and hours. Now if the boob tube were true to it’s name, that might be a different story ^_- Wow, now that I mentioned all the stuff about masochistic people, homosexual pedofiles, and the boob tube reference, I’d say this blog rating has been upped from family friendly G to family friendly PG. Only people who can read should be allowed to read it. People who can’t read are too young to read my site. /scratches head/ Yeah well anyway, TV is boring, and I don’t like to partake in it much, because I think it’s a very big waste of time. Seriously, give up TV for two weeks and see how much time you gain! Same thing with gaming. You should try it, it’s really cool to have free time again =oD

I’m on the hunt for a picture of myself. The only pictures of me (1) on this site are all over a yaer old! Many people (suprisingly) are asknig me for more and better pictures of myself! What do I do? Ahh! I rarely am around people, and almost never around people with digital cameras. I have a digital camera myself, and I guess I could set up the delayed trigger feature, but that seems really sad doesn’t it? Like… you look at it and say “oh my gosh I feel sorry for him he must not have any friends” =op So, if any of you have a good idea of something I could do to get a picture of myself worth posting, let me hear it! I’d be more than willing to look into it.

This may be a little random, but have you ever googled how to make pipe bombs and stuff? I was in a recent conversation that brought back the memories of this… but when I was a lot younger (12ish) I remember using yahoo to look up information on how to build bombs and stuff on the internet. I don’t know why, I never intended to use them, but I wanted to know how to make them. Is this a bad thing? Is it good? Is it weird? are you scared now? I don’t think that I would ever go all the way as to build a pipe bomb and use it on people, but the strange lingering obsession with the whole thing is a little strange to me. I don’t know, am I “the type” that could do horrible things to random people? ^_^;; I’d better stop before I get in trouble. Next thing I know, I’ll look out the window and see men repelling from silent black helicopters in my back yard. Oh well, I guess I can rest peacefully tonigt knowing that I still have the faint memories of the techniques used to make leathal killing devices that can be carried in briefcases. Actually, I find this really scary. If I, at 12, could look up details on how to make a pope bomb, imagine how easy it woudl be for a person mad at the world and bent on revenge to actually make one! There’s nothing anyone can do about it though. The internet should not be and hopefully never will be regulated by the govornment, but I guess it all comes at a price. Something I was always facinated with was a directional nail-launcher that could cast a large amount (5 or 6 pounds) of roofing nails (or other ‘evil looking’ nails) in a single direction. Place the little cylindar on the top of a roof aimed at a crowd of people downwards, shooting out thousands of nails at speeds in excess of that of sound? Wow, you could do some major damage. Ok I’d better stop this paragraph before I get yelled at ^_^

I wanted to refine a little bit about the 4 things that create stability in a teenager’s life… Mitch posted a few things on the comments section of this post that made me realize I didn’t clearly state the reasonings behind these. Thus, when people feel like they want to attack something, I don’t have grounds to pre-counteract it (despite the fact they don’t have much to back it up). So, the next few paragraphs will be on this topic because I think it’s something that would be really nice to have cleared up:

success: I talk about procrastinating the few things I do because I’m so used to doing things right. Look at my room. Everything here I got for free (except for my tv and 1 laptop). I get stuff, and I fix it. I accomplish. I don’t get depression (sure, I might get sad about something, but not like… deep depression or anything). I’m not addicted to anything (does blogging count?) I have a website that’s fun to play with and gets quite a few thosand visitors a month. I have a great job that I love. I do well in school (imo). I am happy about almost everything =oD I think that’s success right there man. When I talk about things I haven’t finished, it’s in casual reference.

happiness: =o)

planning: I have three lists of things I do. One of them is a 20 year plan, one is a 4 year plan, and the other is a 2 week plan. The lines blur a little bit. The 20 year and 4 year plans I try not to change at all. However, I am ALWAYS using note cards (stacked in piles to the left of my monitors, visible in most of my pics I think) to write down ideas I have of things I want to do really soon. I am constantly going through them and doing them and crossing them off or erasing them. If I procrastinate on something, it’s because I CHOSE to do so. Despite how many projects I talk about dropping, It’s all very organized. (I even have a list of things to blog about ^_-) I have lists of what I have to do to get a project finished, and I even have a list of my lists and lists to make! crazy, huh? (note: that’s how I keep having topics to talk about in my blogs, even when I claim “I dont know what I’m going to talk about tonight but…” ^_-

control: parents limit control? ahh yes that’s very true. But you obviously are forgetting the basis of the whole thing. I don’t blame you, it was long ago when I wrote it. At this point, look at my room. I get free rent, free power, free broadand, free cable, free food, etc etc. I have it made! And what does it all depend on? Living with my parents. Yes, I could try to [stupidly] “break all control” by taking my stuff and moving to some cheap apartment somewhere, but what a horrible thing to do! Right now my parents are great. Yes, they put their foot down on a few (sometimes VERY stupid) things. If I disagree with them, I can talk them out of it sometimes. But there are cases where there’s little I can do. If I get mad and yell, they’ll just do the same but with more retaliation. (literally: remove monitors, pcs, or other objects from my room while i’m at school) I’ve decided that I can EASIALY give up a FEW small things and try to have the best relations with my parents (even if it comes to simply giving in to some silly little thing I don’t want to do) in exchange for a such an awesome life. If I tried to break away and leave now, I’d be worrying about money and school and bills and… control? Sure it wouldn’t be my parents control. But I’d be under the control of the world, and I haven’t built up my aresonal yet =oD

I hope that cleared a little bit up =o) One of the coolest things for someone to do is to have almost every aspect of their life planned out. Although this is impossible, you can at least get a rough of idea of what you want to do, so you never have a whole lot of time to do nothing. It’s in the times where you sit around doing nothing that you get down and depressed feeling sorry for yourself and acting like an idiot. If I have a few hours where ” I can’t think of anything to do “, it’s because I can’t think of anything I want to do, so I spend a few hours of relaxation there =o)

SCOTTS LCDS ON EBAY?!?! That’s right! Well, not entirely I guess. You see, they’re not on ebay yet, but I just got them in the mail today and I have all the parts ready! I’m going to make a lcd screen (green backlight with dark letters) with a 6 foot cord (to the printer port) and put it on ebay and link to it from my site just to see what happens. I might not sell it at all. It might sell really fast, who knows? However one thing that I think will make it interesting is that I’m no where near ready to selling these via a website yet, so this is your only chance to get one for a LONG time. So, if you want one, buy this one while you can ^_^ I’ll hopefully make the module tomorrow and get it on ebay by tomorrow night. It might take longer than expected, it just depends on how many of my planned scheduled activitites I get completed first and how long they take me to finish before I can put time toward it. (take THAT for saying I don’t plan anything Mitch ^_-)

All these people advertise my website! I am starting to get really suprised by how many people are voluntarily advertising my website in the most obvious ways! I mean, I know Jared puts it as a link in all of his away messages, Chris blabbs it out in public chat rooms, Hope shows it to her friends, TONS of people put it in their profiles almost in a bragging “scottishot.com (he’s my friend!)” style that makes me laugh to read. Why do people do this? I don’t get it! I can’t complain though. I think it’s pretty cool =oD For those of you who do it, thanks! For those of you who don’t do it… do it ^_-

How do you know “which Scott” you’re talking to?” Someone asked me this question in regards to the earlier comment about having two faces. Well I’ll be honest with you. The Scott that I am when I sit in my chair at my desk is a far cry from the same Scott I am with I am away. At least, this is how I perceive myself to be. (self-reflections are always the blurriest) Anyway, my computer self. How do I describe this? Well, I seem to be quick, in control, snappy, powerful, overriding (talking over people), funny, throwing in random jokes here and there, talking small talk about random junk… I seem more or less “normal”. The Scott that I most picture myself as outside the computer is quiet, not in control, ‘climbing’, a little sluggish, very small, overspoken, dead serious, and I hate making small talk passionately. It’s not quite a 180 degree switch… It’s more of a 173 degree spin. Anyhow, I’ll imagine that since you’re reading this blog, you’re seing the online side of me. Also, the online side of me rubs off sometmies in the real world. If I’m caught in a really awkward spot, I’ll “switch over” back to the more outgiong Scott ^_^ Is this a self-defense mechanism sort of like an airbag for my mind? Interesting. Also, this more outgiong self revealed itself around the track team (and it’s people, I’m noticing) and sometimes at school. I can vividly picture myself in my classes last year and the personalities I had in them. In my English class, I was the quiet Scott. In the Myth class, I talked a lot more and seemed a lot more outgoing. Why? I’m not sure. It’s very interesting. What site do you see? Probably the outgoing side since it’s over the computer… which leads me to ask. If this is the side that shows over the “normal scott” at least 10 to 1 in reference to time… how do I know it’s really not the real scott and the quiet one is the fake scott? Interesting…

Small things… Earlier I think I got a little carried away and made it sound like everything in my life is perfect. Mind you, there are always things in everyones’ lives that aren’t how they want them. Some peoples’ are more impacting and/or larger than others, and I always feel bad if I talk about a problem of mine or something like that because it’s so small in comparison to other peoples’. Something that is good to do (for me, at least) and I recommend that everyone do this is to “unplug” for a day every month or two. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the little world inside your computer, tv, telephone, and radio that you completely lose touch with the world. You’re probably thinking “No, I’m not that way” – and if you believe that, let me remind you that VERY few people realize the extent to which this is true while they’re “in” it. You should really try unplugging for a day. Just pick a day and unplug your monitors, tv, phone, and stuff like that. Do things apart from other people. It’s something so small, but it’s awesome. It really puts things back in perspective. You realize that things you obsess(ed?) over are unimportant, while things you may have blown off really do need your attention. Seriously, try it, you won’t be sorry. Also, I do this if something bad happens. A little while ago I wrote about the loss of one of my closest friends and I had the hardest time letting her go. I unplugged for three days, with the exception of powering up a laptop to blog (which is also theraputic for me, like the unplugging thing – putting yout thoughts in a tangable form). Once you untangle yourself from the largest of issues, and live an “empty” day, you start to really appreciate the little things in your life that you may not have even noticed before. The smell of green plants in the air, the way the sun shines in your window, the soft smile you may get from a stranger. Unplugging my power not only resets my computers, but it reboots my mind. You really should try it =o) See? I gave you some advice that you can use!

Ok Scott, the little things, what bothers you? I’m going to step out big time on this one. I will offer a pretext to this paragraph though. This pretext only applies to this paragraph. Consiter this paragraph a separate page alltogether. I’m writing this purely out of theory and I will purposely lie in multiple parts. Do not mistake this paragraph for truth! It’s just talking about some things that may, in theory, be true, intermingled with what is not. I’ll even throw in giant dialogues from movies just to spice it up. It’s not all real. In other words… you will not approach me and talk about these things, since they may never have happened. You will not comment on this paragraph, since technically you won’t know what I’m making up and what’s real (if any?) You will not come to me and try to talk about it. I can’t verywell enjoy talking about things that don’t exist now, can I? Ok, so, yeah, now that that’s out of the way. I can dump a whole lot of my garbage here and sift through it so it doesn’t have to come up again. Let’s hop right into Misia, shall we? Jeez, I hear so much about her still /sigh/. At this point, I don’t know what to think about her. However, I will hold the stance that I think she is one of the most… awesome things that ever happened to me. I remember having so much fun being around her. After her death… I thought about her 100 times a day. Then, one day, I thought about her only 99 times. Then one day, 98.. 97.. 96… then I started forgetting to count. Eventually, she was almost completely gone. Then when I would try to remember her, I couldn’t remember whether she had brown or black hair… what her middle name was… or if her eyes went up when she smiled softly… now, I don’t even know if I ever really did meet her at all. I guess it’s for the best, that I no longer long to talk to her, because an inseperable wall is placed between us… but those are some of the best memories of that period of my life, and I wish I had more writings (blogs!) about her that I could read and remind myself. After this long, I’ve forgotten so much about her, I don’t remember any details. All I carry of her is a feeling. I can feel it, and it reminds me of her, and it’s the feelnig that casts images on my mind… How she would look with wet hair, her smile on a cool but sunny day, the sound she made when she laughed… it’s not real anymore, it’s pretend, but it’s what I remember from the feeling of her I still carry ^_^. One of the things that she really helped me with though was being able to talk with other people. She came at the perfect time for me. I can remember feeling so detached from everything with no one to hold on to. I had myself… my work… my projects… no person. Sure, I had “IM friends”. I’d get 50 people IMing me a day… but when I gave up IM for over a month (a challenge, yet again) I got a total of two personal emails over the entire 40 days. I even put my email address on the away message. Those two emails were from the same person too. (Thank you Candy, I still remember =o) But it was a wake up call and made me realize that these stilly little online friends are practically worthless and they won’t even raise a finger to send an email to talk to you. (which explains why ever since then when online people ask “do you consiter my a friend?” I hesitate to answer). I had snipped out the “real world” friends and replaced them with these stupid little virtual friends, then when I realized how shallow they were, I had nothing. I did all right though as long as I had something to do (I attribute my computer knowledge growth spurt to this time of my life for that reason). However, I didn’t want to be around other people at all. When I was thrust in a position where I had to be around them… it’s when the feeling got the worst. “people people everywhere yet I am so alone”? Yes well, a little while after that Misia hopped on =oD She’s gone now, but she helped a lot. Howver, little remnants of that era still haven’t washed off. Look how often I go places with ‘friends’… I don’t exactly have hundreds of them. However I’m trying to do the best I can to be a little more sociable so I can at least speak with people without feeling so awkward that the words don’t come out. I would say that this is the one thing that I would most like to change about myself. What is it, 97% of teenagers, when asked, want to change something about the way they look so people see them better? I guess I’m part of the 3% that just wants someone to see them all ^_^ Which is interesting… Try taking the baggage of the childhood hermit (interesting term) through the teen years and then trying not to dump it all over the relationships of the people you do meet =o) And I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. How strange it is trying to find a girl to be with knowing that once you get to know her, you’ll change so much that you’ll be a different person around her, most likely one she won’t like, and the thing starts over. Ehh, I hold relationships like that too highly I guess =o, I think it’s an ideal that’s derived from the ways I have the most interaction with women’s personal lives: stories. What happens in stories? Well it always seems to be the opposite of the real world. In other words, I’m completely mixed up. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to try. And by the time I do work it all out, I’ll be about to die. Hey, that rhymed. So, yeah, there you go, now you know the little things about myself that I’d really like to be different. However, here again, if I weren’t this way, who would I be now? I mean, I’m quite happy with the way things have turned out. Sure, there’s room for improvement and I try to strive to achieve it, but I really do appreciate how nicely things are going ^_^ So, now you know more about me, or do you? What of that was real? What was fake? Is it all fake? Is it an excuse to add more words? Some of it checks out too.. does that mean it’s true? real? tainted truth? or just well crafted lies. Like I said earlier, you don’t know anything, so you can’t do anything about it =o) I won’t blog like this often, but it’s sure nice to every once and a while.

While writing this, I got some good IMs about it. Phillip informed me that I have a boring life and should make up things to talk about by saying every thing I did today, including going to the bathroom. Hope sent in a cute little snippit somewhere along the lines of “You can do it Scott, I beileve in you! [pause] I won’t read the whole thing, but I still believe in you!” Kyle wrote “you know with five thousand words to be posted, at least now everyone knows what goes on in scott’s little mind.” Meanwhile, malignantthoughts is behind me chanting scott scott scott scott scott scott …

closing notes: Don’t talk to me about spelling. I know there are spelling errors and typos and grammar mistakes all in there. I’m not going to bother at this point. I’m tired and a little warn out. It feels like I typed a book. Wait a minute, I did ^_^ Actually, I think that I’ve reached a little more than five thousand words, let me check… holy crap! I typed over 7200! Wow, that’s more than one of florida’s colleges’ gordon rule writing class requirement for the whole semester! Ok, well I will do one more wordcount after I finsh typing this paragraph so it gets all the words. I’d like to say thank you for reading, feel free to comment about anything (except for “that” paragraph) and I’d love to hear from you. Be sure to mention what you think of the length of my blog. Goodnight everyone! ^_-

7228 words!!! (new record) … /passes out/ … >thump<

WAIT!!!! ta4 switches between john and paul and until I know more – don’t mess with it, ok? THANKS!!!!

“mister john” currently resides on the screen names LAE and TA4. If you’re bored, feel free to contact them. He warned me to 100% (durring which time I didnt warn him back, because it’s very immature). Now I’m at 100% and aol won’t let me sign on, so I made this in his memory. Ahh yes, the everpresent stupidity of aim warnings. verywell. I’ll write a blog later today.

if you’re interested, here are some conversations I’ve had with LAE:
http://www.swharden.com/tmp/lae/

and don’t forget to note the incredibly disgusting episode where someone found my site, downlaoded aimpoo, and went to TA4 to unlock it thinking it was me, and john impersonated Scott (me) and said he’d trade homosexual images for unlocking keys. How… stupid

That’s here, my friends:
http://www.swharden.com/tmp/sicko.htm

I need to run to the store, I’ll be back later, and sign on AIM then =o,

for your enjoyment, I’m including a snippit of the conversation to demonstrate how weird this guy is when he laughs:

Wow, I have so many things to talk about! But it’s so late already. /sigh/ I wish I had started typing this blog earlier. As it is, I’m starting this blog at 1:24am Saturday night.. err.. Sunday moring. Anyhow, I have a lot of topics to cover and won’t bother mentioning them in the prologue so I’ll just jump right in by asking what you think of the new layout? I thought the old one was starting to look immature. However when I take a second glance at my new banner, I guess I can’t really say that my new one accomplishes the “mature scott” look. Either way, this is my site, enjoy it, and as always, tell me what I can do to make it a better place. All right, here we go!

I thank “The Black Album” for writing a crappy rap song to me! That’s right, the guy wrote a rap song about AimPoo! The original is on the quotes page, but I’ll clean it up and spell it normally for you in this paragraph. Ok, here we go: “yo I made a rhyme for your site. yo aimpoo what’s the cracks? I’m slangin’ the leets but now 3chars got hacked I use the prog poo when I sleep, that’s right I sleep and get them leets I think that’s neat thanks thanks for makin aimpoo also da name is coo kus I love da poo I head them for breakfast with my fruit loops.” So, what do you think? Yeah well, it certainly made me smile when I read it. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be a big song some day.

What is going on with AimPoo anyway? Well, I wanted to make it go open source a week ago. However, the sourcecode is on my work computer and at the moment my work computer is, well, at work. I will get it back monday night and hopefully have some time to polish up the code and release it sometime around monday or tuesday. If you want the source code to AimPoo, push me to do it! I need motivation. However, try not to be annoying. That just makes me want to do these sort of things even less. I think I’m going to show the source code of all the DLLs and executables ecept for the core aimpoo.exe. I would like to spend at least one more day fixing some small bugs and adding list support (for passwords, screen names, servers, and ports) In case you’ve been living in a coma the last few days, I’ve uploaded the keygen for aimpoo in the downloads folder. I’m sick and tired of unlocking peoples’ crappy programs. However, I think I’ll appeal to the random googler by saying things like you can download your aimpoo crack here or free aimpoo hack or aimpoo keygen or aimpoo serial generator or something like that. Yeah, well, it’s up and it’s free. Have fun.

Scott! We want your picture! Wow, did I just speak in the second person? Humm, I guess so, in a plural form. I’d best get to the point before I hurt myself. I recently uploaded a silly picture of me (my back) using a computer on a yellow table with childish things all around me (crayons, 1337 barney, etc) and I started to realize how stupid of an image it was creating for myself since this is the only picture most people have ever seen of me beside that one on my about page that shows me in China over a year ago. I should get a semi-decent picture of myself and use it somewhere on this website so I both have some control over what people think I am like and so it shuts up all the people who want to see my picture. Although, I will admit, I’d do it mostly for the second reason. That’s right! It’s my #1 suggestion I get about the site via email. “we need pictures of you!”. The problem is, no one ever takes my picture. I don’t go places with friends (which is where most people I know have their pics taken) and when I’m with my family, I’m the only one who knows how to use the digital camera. (sad, but true). Ahh /sigh/ how strange how strange. I guess I’ll sit back and wait for an oppurtune moment.

What about them there LCD thingie mo bobbers? Well, I just ordered a few more. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, check out here and here. I think I’ve got the wiring down to the most effecient way (electrically and conveniently) and it’s pretty close to being a “finished prototype”. I’m stocking up some LCDs and going to pop one of them fully assembled on ebay just to see what kind of action I get. Will I get people from my website bidding? Will I get friends bidding? Will random ebayers bid? How strange! I don’t think I’ll sell LCDs for a while though. This ebay thing would just be to see what happens. So don’t “not bid” on it thinking “oh I’ll just buy one from scott in a few days” ^_-

I’ve been thinking lately about people around people. I think it was when I saw how two [of the] girls [from new york that came and visited me last week) got along that I started thinking about it. These two girls were amazingly close in my eyes. I'm sure it's nothing special by any means to anyone else. However, I could tell that they knew eachother well and seemed to talk effortlessly. They seemed to enjoy talking to eachother. I'd imagine they share a lot with eachother. The reason it made such a big impact on me was because the whole thing seemed so foreign. I know it's normal and almost everyone does something along those lines, but for me, I don't really have (or have had for a long time) a really close friend... I'm not complaining, I mean, hey, I'm fine. But it was just something about it that seemed strange to me. I don't like talking to other people really. Lots of people think I do, because I don't shut up, but that's out of nervousness. I can't think of one person [my age] that I’d feel comfortable talking and/or being with ^_^; It’s very strange the more I think about it. Am I becoming the socially reclusive hermit that we all know about? [insert twilight zone music here]

greeaahhhh this is crazy! I haven’t blogged in ages. I started to get a sick to my stomach feeling when I was about to come to blog. It repeated every time I hovered my cursor over the “add blog” button in my browser. I don’t know why. I think it was because originally, I missed a day or two of blogging and felt bad about it. Thus, in my feelingbadness, I didn’t want to blog. This kept on happening, and it only got worse. I equate it with the “eww” feeling you get when you start a procrastinated homework assignment. It’d be one thing if it’s on time. But doing it late? yuk. That’s my excuse ^_^

AIM PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING! Well, ok, not all of them.. but a lot of them are! You wouldn’t believe how many 100s of IMs a day I get from really stupid people. Now, if you’re reading this site, I can assure you that you are not one of the “stupid people” I’m referring to. They come up, ask the dumbest questions, then I anser them, and they can’t understand my answer, so I get annoyed and don’t respond, and they start cussing me out and warning me. Give, me, a, freaking, break! Sheesh! Then again, by getting frustrated with these people, I’m letting them “win”, so I’d best stop right now. If you’re wondering why I keep using this same image, it’s because I think it’s wonderful! I love the colors and the contrast and the drawing style. It plays on the promo image from the [crappy] movie KillBill. While I’m here, why don’t I like it? It has horrible Japanese references, very bad action, not-well-made sword fights, the visual styles*, the dialogues, the aweful use of 70s style music durring fighting scenes, the flow of the plot so far, I mean it’s just… sheesh… I don’t know why it was hyped. Do people here really thirst for foreign things so much that when a little taste of something that hints out of the American bubble is created, it’s admired? When I astricised visual styles, I mean that a lot of the movie is normal live action, but some of it is black and white, and some of it is animated. Why? The animated makes it able to do very bad violence w/o special effects and I’d imagine it’s a lot cheaper. The black and white was done durring some of the fighting scenes so they wouldn’t be too voilend and earn the movie a nc17 rating instead of r (which was still overrated). I guess after spending time around some of the asian [especially Japanese live-action] cinematography, violence in movies in america seems so childlike. Oh heck while we’re here, I think it’s really interesting how high they hold Kissing in Korea and it’s rarely rarely ever seen in movies in plain view. Lots of movies in Korea will show kissing hidden behind flowers, or the back of someone’s head or something. Bottom line though, it’s something held really highly over there. Now, today I just saw the PeterPan movie. (don’t ask) They had 12 year old boy/girls kissing in full view even with a little string of spit falling off. What the heck is that all about? Ehh, sheesh

I can never finish anything! It’s true. Look at aimpoo. Look at my old sites. Look at this site dangit! Look at the blog reader. Look at the lcd things. Look how much gcc compilable C programming I’ve learned. Look how little time I spend on my [stupid] projects because I’m busy spending time on [even stupider] new ones! Do I feel a lack of direction in my life? Yeah. Can it be explained? Yeah. I don’t finish anything. Can it be defined? Yeah. Eighteen year old teenager -_-

LAE continues to be intersting. LAE is the screen name of John. Yes, LAE used to be my screen name, but I traded it w/ someone for website hosting, and it was stolen the very day I gave it to him. Come to find out one of the admins at the hosting company was doing lots of stupid things. Beside using peoples’ computers when he wasn’t supposed to and signing on their IM accounts and talking to random people, he decided that he’d have some fun and impersonate ME when people asked for software keys, explaining that he’d trade homosexual images for unlocking numbers. Pretty sad, huh? Yeah, well, if you’re really bored, one of the conversations where he pretended to be me is located here in case you’re interested. Oh yeah, the images have been removed (thank goodness) but there is some strong languages and possibly sexual references in that document, so know that before you go there. Yeah so, heck, I already gave away LAE so I didn’t really care to have it back. After LAE got fired for what he had done, I decided that there was no reason that we couldn’t be friends (at least for the pure irony of it). However, my IMs were met with lots of soft light converstaion intertwined with suprratic warnings and temporary blockings. It was very strange talking to him again. He seems so… immature? I don’t know. If you’re reading this and you are “mister john”, then know I forgave you long ago for what you did aginst me and hold nothing on you and am sorry if the whole thing worked out in a negative way. =o)

hacker wannabes Wow, I’ve gotten at least a dozen people in the last month claim to be “elite hackers” then upon a minute of talking with me they seem to break down and cry/confess they haven’t a clue about anything and then start begging me to train them and teach them “hacking” stuff. I think it’s strange that people see me and automatically think that I know anything about hacking. I mean, I don’t claim to hack. I don’t obviously hack things. I never say bold statements about what I have hacked or what I am hacking. People assume too much. Plus, even if I were some hacker or some sort, I would never admit it. In fact, I’d publicly denouce it. Maybe much like I’m doing now? Anyway, I thought this pattern was a little funny, so if you’re thinking of asking, don’t bother. If you’re really interested, I’ll let you know that I’m currently working with a person who’s incredibly intelligent and in a stage of the person’s life where s/he retains information like a sponge. Awesome person to work with, and I’m already busy. Thanks anyway though ^_-

What’s this, a 2428 word blog? /sigh/ It’s 2:11 and I think I’d best be off. Goodnight everyone. It’s nice to talk to you all again. Forgive me for my sparce and empty posts the last few weeks. My life has been crazy. Also, you can be sure to not that I cut-off early tonight! I am very tired and will finish up writing other things tomorrow or some day really soon. comment-it-up! g’night.

I am in a weird mood. Nothing seems real. I don’t care about anything.
I decided to take a picture of myself at my professional workstation.
Click the image to your right for a larger version in a popup window.
Here’s a treat. Download your AimPoo Keygen:
keygen.exe