Is my mind playing tricks on me again, or did I actually just type the word ‘bloggie’? Good point; I actually typed it because my mind was playing tricks on me. Well, I’m not going to even bother trying to make excuses as to why I haven’t blogged a lot lately. I’ll make up for it though, just you watch! I’ve got a pleasant blog planned for today folks. I hope you’ll enjoy it. I’d like to hit a few various topics just for fun, and not talk about anything serious. Yep, I’ll keep it light today. I’m even listening to digitally imported’s classical music stream. How relaxing is that? To top it off, I just spent a few casual minutes browsing the best of the last twenty four hours’ deviant art pictures. I found a few that looked cool that I might be able to toss in tonight’s blog. The one with the guy sitting on the dishwasher is one I worked on a little. I found it in black and white so I added a little bit of “off” color just to make it a little less boring. Ok, so, here we go!

Someone called me a “loner” and it really got me thinking… It seemed weird for some reason. No one had ever called be a loner before that day. (I think it’s because I rarely talk to people, which confirms it I guess) This made me think about it; what am I really like? I don’t spend much time thinking of myself as a raw image, but after spending a little time doing so I quickly saw what this girl was talking about. I wake up early in the morning and go to school. I use the quiet study rooms in the library and work silently then go to class. I drive home, do schoolwork, maybe a little computer work at night, then go to sleep. I rarely go anywhere and do anything specifically being with other people. By far the most social interaction I get is my classes at school. I find that this is ample (sometimes too much) interaction with people. I wouldn’t say I hate being around people, but I certainly am much more comfortable when I am alone. Certain situations with a lot of people my age are just… awkward for me for some reason. I always feel stupid when I talk about this, but it’s nice to say it every once and a while. Though rare, people will sometimes invite me to parties, clubs, dances, gatherings, movies, or other places like that. I don’t know what it is that makes me say yes or no, but it’s practically always no. Every once and a while I’ll go to a movie or something with someone and it doesn’t seem to get to me. I’m fine alone too, because I can just ignore people and be ignored. It’s just… awkward. Imagine walking into a class (or into work) and remembering on your way in that there was a really important assignment you didn’t do and it’s due today. You know that sick to your stomach feeling? It’s like you want to turn around and run home and just pretend “this isn’t happening”. That’s the best description I can think of to describe what I’m talking about. Anyway, I’m getting way off the point. Yeah, so, some girl called me a loner. I was wondering, is this a derogatory term? I haven’t had much experience being around people who refer to themselves or others as “loners” so I figured I’d ask my dedicated fan core =o) There’s something about the term sounds cool… more like appealing. Picture, a loner, going from place to place doing great things and having no one and no thing to slow him down, surrounded by a feeling of true independence… Having happiness created by ones self and not depending on other people for the way you feel. Then again, everyone knows what happened to “the loner” in Battle Royale! He got shot by a girl! Then she goes over to his dying body and he says he loved her and was trying to give this (a device) to her that would help her stay safe and after he dies she’s like, “loved me? You never talked to me! How could I have known?” Then she gets popped in the head by a girl walking up behind her… who bends down to check the gun she was holding then SHE gets smashed in the side with a pick axe and… well I’m getting sidetracked again. I’d best end this topic with a question. Loners, what are they, and what do you think about them? Feel free to comment.

I’d like to bring a little peeve of mine to the surface. Yeah, everyone has their peeves, but this one is something I thought about a long time ago and decided I’d share. A lot of people around me who are my age are into the whole dating stuff, and I see couples a lot. Some of these (younger) couples have this little… arguing thing. The guy will be like “vanilla is the best ice cream flavor” and the girl will be like “nuh uh it’s strawberry” and it’ll start some jokeful argument about which is better and why. The argument isn’t taken seriously by either side, but it could go on for a little while through laughing and stuff like that. Some people think it’s cute. And, well, ok, it is a little bit… but here’s my problem with it. I’d be really reluctant to enter a relationship with a girl who liked to (jokingly) pick arguments with me about unimportant things. Sure, it might be cute and funny while we’re young, but oh how quickly the cuteness would bleed away after marriage. I could only imagine how that cute arguing would turn into incessant nagging… Then again, that’s personal preference. Some people may be really drawn to that, I don’t know. I’m not one to say if it’s good or bad, I’m just pointing out my own thoughts on the subject. So… I guess that’s all I have to say. Moving right along…

Would you believe there are people out there that idolize me?! I’ll start right out and say I’m not trying to say this in a bragging or conceded way. I’m just amazed at some of the things I get in my inbox every once and a while. Some people (strangers!) that read my blog think that I’m the coolest thing since goldfish crackers in a box. They start a blog like me (in which they try to mimic my writing style), they dress like me, they try to talk like me, they change their views on things (dating, politics, anything) to match mine. These are just some of the many (very strange) things people email me telling they do. I have to admit, I’m baffled and completely stumped when I ask myself “what is it people see in me?” I mean, when I had a gazillion computers or something, I could imagine a small following of people who wanted to do some programming stuff that I was doing… but what on earth would make someone want to copy the actual “me” into their own lives! My best guess at this point is my writings. The core of my existence as far as this website goes, my writings are what make people (think that they) know who I am. I read over a few random blogs and realized what it is I do that makes so many people think I’m incredible. I write vaguely about myself. At first you’d think “no, he goes into great detail!”, which I do… but I don’t actually talk about me. The point I’m trying to make is that when I write about simple everyday things, I don’t fill in all the holes of my life. The people who read this blog who think what they read is cool fill in the holes with whatever is in their mind. Their idealistic personality, traits, characteristics, and qualities are smeared in the gaps of my image and, in their minds, I really am an awesome and incredible person. If you’re one of the people that think I’m writing about you, I have a word of advice. Just be yourself, you can’t go wrong! And also, to everyone out there, give me a break. If you really thought I was an interesting person, why is it I never leave my room except to go to the library and study =op

Thanks Laura! Allow me to introduce an old friend of mine. You may know her in some of the comments by her aim handle KawaiiAyu. Laura is a girl I met… /scratches head/… four years ago? Dang, something like that. Anyway, I met her in the #jar channel ages ago. She was the one who actually gave me the idea behind this layout style that everyone likes (with the left menu column and that top narrow horizontal bar showing the hits) about a year ago. Anyway, she’s a nice person, and drew me a picture as a gift. How cool is that? No one’s ever drawn me a picture before =o) The picture is the one displayed here. She said she’d draw a picture of a girl and told me if I said what to draw, she could draw it. Rather than planning everything out, I left a pretty opened ended description. I thought it’d be cool for this girl to have three things. First, I wanted her to have simple and modest clothing. Second, I thought it’d be cool if she had a backpack. Third, I said that headphones would be cool too. Now, a few of you have asked “Scott, why the heck would you ask for such random and abstract things?” Well, I’ll tell you. There may be a little more to it than you’d first imagine. The first thing I mentioned was modest clothing. This would tell you a little bit about the personality of the woman. I always admired and respected women who dressed nicely and didn’t play the “how low, how tight, how much skin” game. If it’s done to land a guy, do these girls ever stop to think “what kind of people am I trying to attract?” Simple and modest dressing I always thought showed a certain level of dignity and self respect. The backpack, that’s a no brainier. Besides signifying her (relative) youth, it goes to show that she’s a hard worker. Ok so it doesn’t necessarily signify that, but it could! =op I always saw people (girls included) who worked hard at school were those who had a nice grip on their future. Thinking ahead and planning in advance, I like that. It shows a certain level of maturity that’s pretty cool. Yeah, finally, about those headphones… Did you figure out the meaning behind those yet? Simple! Headphones show three things: an enjoyment, an escape, and moderate independence. People who listen to headphones obviously do it because they have something they like (music) and they do something about it so they can be with it throughout the day (hence the headphones). The escape is a phenomenon that overcomes anyone who uses headphones in a public place. An escape from the world (whether to focus or to relax) is a cool aspect of life to have in control, don’t you think? Naturally that would lead to the independence. People who take something like headphones as a means of focusing on something (being it work or play) don’t rely on other people (extraneous superfluous social chatter?) to be themselves. Tada! Now you know. For those of you interested, the official deviant art link to Laura’s image is here. “Hey Scott, you know you really put way too much thought into that?” Yeah, I know… Feel free to comment!

Allrighteythen! I have finals week rapidly approaching. I doubt I’ll be blogging too much this week, but you never know. I hope I do well, it’ll be a lot of work, but I think I can pull it off. As always you can email me (my address is on the contact page) or instant message my “rts” AisIM-bot, but don’t expect to get too far with that. Well, time for me to go. Chemistry is calling. Have a good one! –Scott

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