words? going for 5k and get 7200+? no way?!
7,114 words | Posted on January 6th, 2004
Scott was 18.28 years old when he wrote this!
Filed under: General
This is the proving ground. This is tough. I’m going to have to place semi-meaningful information into this small section of my website and have it amount to over five thousand words. This task’s difficulty is increased by the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to talk about, the realization that there’s no logical reason for motivation behind this strange goal, and the major wedgie that will form from sitting in this small desk chair for too long. Ok, I’m nearing the “too much 
information” level. On top of that, I’m aware of my own potently insane level of perfection I expect of my self. That’s right, I just googled the word wedgie to make sure I spelled it correctly. You know those fund raiser call-a-thons? That’s what this is. I’ve got some water, a stopwatch, and some light clothes on. This is going to be a tough workout ladies and gents, but I’m sure we’ll get through it! I don’t expect anyone to sit down and read this whole blog (however long it gets to be), so don’t get worried. Maybe, at the most, people can read the bolded section at the top of each new thought and pick out one or two paragraphs they’d like to read. For those of you who are planning to read this whole thing… I feel sorry for you. I may have”almost no life”, sitting down and writing five thousand words, but it’s the people who have “absolutely no life” who sit down and read them all. We’re in this together, let’s kick it!
What’s up with that music? Well, actually, I guess that’s not a question you would ask. That is, of course, unless you are standing behind me as I am typing this and can hear what I’m listening to (which is a very scary thought, when you stop to think about it). I’ve had this strange little kick the last few hours. I added my entire japanese music folder into my xmms playlist and use the j key to search for songs to play. After every song is over, instead of going to the next, I catch it and tell it what to play. The strange part? I can’t seem to stop listening to this one genre. I can’t describe it. I’ll call it GKBM. Girls Kicking Butt Music. It sounds like a group of girls performing light-rock (with more melody and less background that most ‘rock’ by its term). Most often, only two types of people listen to this strange style of music: teenage girls in Japan, and gay guys in america. I can thankfully say that I conform to neither one of these molds, but I am at a loss of words as to why I keep listening to these songs. I guess I can sum it up by saying that no other songs “fit the mood” right now. Even Misia, despite how much I love her music, can’t keep my going for a five thousand word blog! I’ll have to re-open my mp3 section of this website so I can let you all hear a little bit. What do you think of that?
my website viewers choose what I wear?! Uhh, it was just an idea. Well I guess I’d bestter back up. While I’m adding the mp3 section again, I’d love to add some more stuff to this site! I’m thinking that I’m going to have some solid box that goes somewhere on my front page that can quickly inform people of news or get information. I really want to incorporate more user feedback and, intern, add some user-control over the content that’s cranked out of this site. My current idea (and the true reason behind the layout change) is to place this info at the top. See how my banner is all the way across the top, and the content starts beneath it? If I want to share news, show information, or maybe add a user-input form, I can just insert another inch high box imbetween the banner and the content. Maybe I’ll have it only show up on my index.php? who knows. Anyhow, I’ll think of something and hopefully add it soon. I would like to post questions and get user feedback in the form of answers. Suggestions, comments, thoughts, possible blog topics, there’s so much I 
could do! That and, oh yeah, I want to open up a voting system. However this voting system wouldn’t be like most of the other voters you see on other peoples’ sites – nuh uh. Unlike the “what is your favorite color?” style polls that have no meaning or bearing on real life actions, my polls would actually contain real life personal information, with my actions being shaped as a result of the poll. For example: “Should I wear binary shirt to the first day of classes at college next monday?” Stupid this idea may sound, but I think it may actually be pretty interesting. I don’t know, it may be just another dumb idea of mine. Comment this one up big time, mmk?
I know that if I didn’t add this paragraph, I’d have gotten twenty IMs asking “Scott, why did you include a picture of a blue bird in your blog when it has nothing to do with anything on the page?” Well, if you’re one of those people who just theroetically would have IMed me that had you not read this paragraph and you still know what I’m saying, you are weird. If you’re totally confused and just want to know why I did the blue bird thing, I’ll tell you. Blogs are sometimes cool. Text is boring. Before I get into reasons, check out that blue bird border. Isn’t it cool how I made strange tile effects on the edges to make it blend into this site? It’s something that’s so simple and easy to do that most people don’t stop to try it. I love the effect! Some people might try to insult me saying that it’s “newbish” leaving big honkin’ square edges with the obvious stamp-like brush, but I think it adds to the art! So… ok… why? Why pics at all? The images spice up the blog, give me a place to show things, brighten up the page, and attract people to read the posts. I do know of people who go to my site and don’t read anything unless they find a picture that they like. Only after spotting a cool picture do they stop and read. Why do I add pictures? It’s for lots of reasons. Any special reason? no. Do the pics relate with what you’re talking about? Usually, but not always. So, there, now you know. The bird’s name is bob, by the way.
Speaking of toenails, what happened to ‘mister john’? Oh you know what? I already typed this. I then accidentally deleted it. So now I’m retyping it… yeah. anyway, mister john (we’ll call him MJ now) is a very silly person. I’m going to have so much fun! You see, we takled a lot on IM, and he is the strangest person to talk to. I have all of our conversations logged, and I think I will have a blast going through them and making little webpages that describe the story of how his fatal beg for my software ended up with me getting him fired. He work(ed) at the [awesome] hosting company that I’m with right now. Everyone there is really cool… but this guy… wow… This man has done so many stupid things. He guessed the password that my friend used for the screen name TA4 after I gave it to him. He logged on TA4 and impersonated me trying to trade my software for homosexual pornography. He has physically used and installed applications on a laptop that is not his in secret, while clocking hours on the company payroll. He not only gave me detailed system specs on his computer, but he also gave me his hard drive serian numbers wich I used to track-back to show my friend proof that he was on his computer. When I offered to keep it all a secret in exchange for some coperation, he cussed me out. Then, when he got fired because of it, he came to me and had the guts to ask me for unlocking keys on the very screen names he stole! And, if that’s not enough, only yesterday he IMed me trying to say that he made it all up. “You made what up”, I asked. “everything. paul (my friend), his brother, the firing, it was all a ploy to get 3 letter screen names for you were conned like a sucker”… “what about my hosting?” … “I made that up too”… [pause] … “then how I am being hosted?” … [silence] Yeah so, if you’re interested, keep an eye out. I’m going to make a few fun little pages showing all the possible “outs” I gave MJ and all the slack I cut the man and how he ignored it and pushed forward acting like an idiot and getting himself fired. As we speak, he’s launching some stupid script kiddie program to try to DoS attack AIM. Give me a break. I just got 40 IMs from random screen names. What does he expect me to think? “ooo this guy’s leet”. /rolls eyes/ Oh yeah, I left out the part where he threatened to sue me. ^_^ He doesn’t even know my full name. Nor my phone number. He doesn’t even know my address. He can’t even contact me outside of email, yet he thinks he can threaten me? Where here I sit knowing his name and address and access to his birth date, bank account information (and detailed checking account information), credit card information, his social security number, and lots of other fun information! I wouldn’t consiter him “owned”, but he certainly is playing with fire every time he sets out to piss me off ^_^
People (like him) are really starting to get annoying. I mean, it doesn’t hurt me in any way, but it does waste my time and make me really sad. I feel sad for MJ, honestly. I also feel sad for other people like MJ. Where do they find happyness? Do they find it at all? Why can’t they just act normal? Do they act like idiots in person too? What is wrong with them? Can they get help? Will they? I feel sorry for his [future?] wife. Actually, it’ll most likely be a husband. At any rate, what’s up with these people? Do they have any direction in their life? I guess it’s just me overanalizing stupidity. That, in itself, is a very stupid thing to do. However, back to the original topic, annoying people are just… annoying! They flood my inbox with junk, they try to DOS my aim account (which is so dumb), they try to break my website by posting 100 page comments (?), it’s like… I can’t believe I bother cleaning up after these people. Do they really bave nothing better to do? I need to give them a hobby. I they need to grow up and act like this.
What would be cool to sell in a Japanese/anime store? I was asked this question yesterday at work. One of the programmers’ relatives is setting up a store and trying to sell some Japanese goods in America (shipped-in from his friend who lives in Japan) and he is asking for ideas of what to sell. 
On the spot, I couldn’t think of very many things. I mentioned non-mainstream anime (not blockbuster rental stuff), non-mainstream CDs (not the easy to find cookie-cutter pop music of yaida hitomi, ayumi hamasaki, megumi hayashibara, and other incredibly famous singers, but rather the harder to find stars), legitimate US region coded DVDs (so we dont have to buy pirated dvds), and of course candy (pokey). If any of you Japanese-crazed teenagers have ideas, leave them with me, ok? I’ll relay them to the person who is looking for things to sell ^_-
Everyone loves ScottIsHot.com! It was amazing! When I posted that LAE and TA4 were bothering me (mister john signed on paul’s sn ta4 for a while) it was incredible the amount of people joined up aginst him. I didn’t even tell them to! So many people got REALLY mad at mister john and were grouping up to try to inflict really bad things on the guy. While smiling at how serious everyone seemed to be at plotting the demise of such a stupid person, I was shocked at how many people were ready to give up their time to join “scott’s cause”. In other words, a lot of people feel ‘connected’ with this site. It is now at a point that when someone attacks the writer, the readers get offended too! Isn’t is crazy? I kindof like it! I could raise an army with my blog =o) In the last month of 2003, over seven thousand different people viewed my website!
So, why do so many people like me? I’m nice, smart, hot, and gosh darnit! people love me. However, beside the obvious (^_-) it’s a very interesting question. I’ll be honest and say that I don’t believe these people really like ‘me’. From what they see on my site, most people don’t even know me! The real world Scott is a different person than the Scott so beautifully illustrated in these meir blogs. The real Scott is so much more boring than the one you read about ^_^. As far as why people like reading about me; It’s not me they like. I think it’s the idea. I, in my writings, represent the perfect image of a teenager. Although usually in low levels, the combination of success, happiness, planning, and control over ones own life creates the perfect balanace that every young person strives for. Most people have three of these, but lack in one. By equally casting thought in all of these areas, you can create a more balanced day that leads to a more stable life. Just a little Scott tip =o)
Hey, I saw a pretty good [American] movie yesterday! Someone told me it stunk so I almost didn’t go see it. The movie? “paycheck”. Skip the rest of this paragarph if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to spoil it. Sure, certain props were very stupid (an open hard drive used as a tool, fibre optic strands flashing blue to represent electrical wire, etc) but overall, I thought it was really cool. The concept of memory erasing after knowing your future is an awesome way to avoid the paradox of changing your future because you know it. Two things in the visual effects really impressed me. First off, how many (james bond) movies have you seen where someone’s being shot at and bullets only land around their feet? In this movie, when someone’s shot at, the sparks are from in front of them, as if they really were being fired. In bond-like movies, sparks only show up right under the peoples feet when they run, which is soooo stupid. Another thing I liked was the amount of debris that was seen flying around durring the explosions. It really made it feel a lot more realistic. Check out the movie if you haven’t. It’s not “absolutely incredible”, but it is really fun. My favorite part was when the girl was controlling the robotic arm and fighting the bad guys with it =oD
Oh man, you couldn’t imagine how much of a pain class registration is -_- Because i’m dual-enrolling, technically my college should be free. However thanks to sum computer glitch, lots of the people at my college who are DE (dual enrolling) students have it in their accounts that they owe money. I even got a bill! This money, if not set to zero by 7:00 jan 6′th (2 hours ago) will cause me to have all of my classes automatically dropped. However, if I pay this bill (which I’m not supposed to) it wouldn’t fix it. I went to the DE office of my school the last two days and spent about five hours there. I think I got it worked out eventually, but man it was a pain. I went with one of my friends who had a cellphone w/ a usb connector to get the internet on his laptop. Every time the lady told us to walk across the hall and go to the comptuer room to check our acconuts, we just whipped out the notebook and did it right there. I was determined not to let this go unresolved ^_^ Bottom line, I’m going to be dropped out of all 19 hours (6 classes), and I’m going to have to march back to the DE office w/ my class list and get them to override those classes so I can get in them again. I can only imagine what was going through her mind as she watched us conncet to the internet through a laptop in her office ^_^ beautiful.
I watched TV today. I almost never watch tv! It was relaxing. I almost fell asleep. In fact, I got so bored, that I turned it off and went in my room and took a nap. I just can’t watch tv anymore. I don’t get how people sit in front of it for hours and hours. Now if the boob tube were true to it’s name, that might be a different story ^_- Wow, now that I mentioned all the stuff about masochistic people, homosexual pedofiles, and the boob tube reference, I’d say this blog rating has been upped from family friendly G to family friendly PG. Only people who can read should be allowed to read it. People who can’t read are too young to read my site. /scratches head/ Yeah well anyway, TV is boring, and I don’t like to partake in it much, because I think it’s a very big waste of time. Seriously, give up TV for two weeks and see how much time you gain! Same thing with gaming. You should try it, it’s really cool to have free time again =oD
I’m on the hunt for a picture of myself. The only pictures of me (1) on this site are all over a yaer old! Many people (suprisingly) are asknig me for more and better pictures of myself! What do I do? Ahh! I rarely am around people, and almost never around people with digital cameras. I have a digital camera myself, and I guess I could set up the delayed trigger feature, but that seems really sad doesn’t it? Like… you look at it and say “oh my gosh I feel sorry for him he must not have any friends” =op So, if any of you have a good idea of something I could do to get a picture of myself worth posting, let me hear it! I’d be more than willing to look into it.
This may be a little random, but have you ever googled how to make pipe bombs and stuff? I was in a recent conversation that brought back the memories of this… but when I was a lot younger (12ish) I remember using yahoo to look up information on how to build bombs and stuff on the internet. I don’t know why, I never intended to use them, but I wanted to know how to make them. Is this a bad thing? Is it good? Is it weird? are you scared now? I don’t think that I would ever go all 
the way as to build a pipe bomb and use it on people, but the strange lingering obsession with the whole thing is a little strange to me. I don’t know, am I “the type” that could do horrible things to random people? ^_^;; I’d better stop before I get in trouble. Next thing I know, I’ll look out the window and see men repelling from silent black helicopters in my back yard. Oh well, I guess I can rest peacefully tonigt knowing that I still have the faint memories of the techniques used to make leathal killing devices that can be carried in briefcases. Actually, I find this really scary. If I, at 12, could look up details on how to make a pope bomb, imagine how easy it woudl be for a person mad at the world and bent on revenge to actually make one! There’s nothing anyone can do about it though. The internet should not be and hopefully never will be regulated by the govornment, but I guess it all comes at a price. Something I was always facinated with was a directional nail-launcher that could cast a large amount (5 or 6 pounds) of roofing nails (or other ‘evil looking’ nails) in a single direction. Place the little cylindar on the top of a roof aimed at a crowd of people downwards, shooting out thousands of nails at speeds in excess of that of sound? Wow, you could do some major damage. Ok I’d better stop this paragraph before I get yelled at ^_^
I wanted to refine a little bit about the 4 things that create stability in a teenager’s life… Mitch posted a few things on the comments section of this post that made me realize I didn’t clearly state the reasonings behind these. Thus, when people feel like they want to attack something, I don’t have grounds to pre-counteract it (despite the fact they don’t have much to back it up). So, the next few paragraphs will be on this topic because I think it’s something that would be really nice to have cleared up:
success: I talk about procrastinating the few things I do because I’m so used to doing things right. Look at my room. Everything here I got for free (except for my tv and 1 laptop). I get stuff, and I fix it. I accomplish. I don’t get depression (sure, I might get sad about something, but not like… deep depression or anything). I’m not addicted to anything (does blogging count?) I have a website that’s fun to play with and gets quite a few thosand visitors a month. I have a great job that I love. I do well in school (imo). I am happy about almost everything =oD I think that’s success right there man. When I talk about things I haven’t finished, it’s in casual reference.
happiness: =o)
planning: I have three lists of things I do. One of them is a 20 year plan, one is a 4 year plan, and the other is a 2 week plan. The lines blur a little bit. The 20 year and 4 year plans I try not to change at all. However, I am ALWAYS using note cards (stacked in piles to the left of my monitors, visible in most of my pics I think) to write down ideas I have of things I want to do really soon. I am constantly going through them and doing them and crossing them off or erasing them. If I procrastinate on something, it’s because I CHOSE to do so. Despite how many projects I talk about dropping, It’s all very organized. (I even have a list of things to blog about ^_-) I have lists of what I have to do to get a project finished, and I even have a list of my lists and lists to make! crazy, huh? (note: that’s how I keep having topics to talk about in my blogs, even when I claim “I dont know what I’m going to talk about tonight but…” ^_-
control: parents limit control? ahh yes that’s very true. But you obviously are forgetting the basis of the whole thing. I don’t blame you, it was long ago when I wrote it. At this point, look at my room. I get free rent, free power, free broadand, free cable, free food, etc etc. I have it made! And what does it all depend on? Living with my parents. Yes, I could try to [stupidly] “break all control” by taking my stuff and moving to some cheap apartment somewhere, but what a horrible thing to do! Right now my parents are great. Yes, they put their foot down on a few (sometimes VERY stupid) things. 
If I disagree with them, I can talk them out of it sometimes. But there are cases where there’s little I can do. If I get mad and yell, they’ll just do the same but with more retaliation. (literally: remove monitors, pcs, or other objects from my room while i’m at school) I’ve decided that I can EASIALY give up a FEW small things and try to have the best relations with my parents (even if it comes to simply giving in to some silly little thing I don’t want to do) in exchange for a such an awesome life. If I tried to break away and leave now, I’d be worrying about money and school and bills and… control? Sure it wouldn’t be my parents control. But I’d be under the control of the world, and I haven’t built up my aresonal yet =oD
I hope that cleared a little bit up =o) One of the coolest things for someone to do is to have almost every aspect of their life planned out. Although this is impossible, you can at least get a rough of idea of what you want to do, so you never have a whole lot of time to do nothing. It’s in the times where you sit around doing nothing that you get down and depressed feeling sorry for yourself and acting like an idiot. If I have a few hours where ” I can’t think of anything to do “, it’s because I can’t think of anything I want to do, so I spend a few hours of relaxation there =o)
SCOTTS LCDS ON EBAY?!?! That’s right! Well, not entirely I guess. You see, they’re not on ebay yet, but I just got them in the mail today and I have all the parts ready! I’m going to make a lcd screen (green backlight with dark letters) with a 6 foot cord (to the printer port) and put it on ebay and link to it from my site just to see what happens. I might not sell it at all. It might sell really fast, who knows? However one thing that I think will make it interesting is that I’m no where near ready to selling these via a website yet, so this is your only chance to get one for a LONG time. So, if you want one, buy this one while you can ^_^ I’ll hopefully make the module tomorrow and get it on ebay by tomorrow night. It might take longer than expected, it just depends on how many of my planned scheduled activitites I get completed first and how long they take me to finish before I can put time toward it. (take THAT for saying I don’t plan anything Mitch ^_-)
All these people advertise my website! I am starting to get really suprised by how many people are voluntarily advertising my website in the most obvious ways! I mean, I know Jared puts it as a link in all of his away messages, Chris blabbs it out in public chat rooms, Hope shows it to her friends, TONS of people put it in their profiles almost in a bragging “scottishot.com (he’s my friend!)” style that makes me laugh to read. Why do people do this? I don’t get it! I can’t complain though. I think it’s pretty cool =oD For those of you who do it, thanks! For those of you who don’t do it… do it ^_-
How do you know “which Scott” you’re talking to?” Someone asked me this question in regards to the earlier comment about having two faces. Well I’ll be honest with you. The Scott that I am when I sit in my chair at my desk is a far cry from the same Scott I am with I am away. At least, this is how I perceive myself to be. (self-reflections are always the blurriest) Anyway, my computer self. How do I describe this? Well, I seem to be quick, in control, snappy, powerful, overriding (talking over people), funny, throwing in random jokes here and there, talking small talk about random junk… I seem more or less “normal”. The Scott that I most picture myself as outside the computer is quiet, not in control, ‘climbing’, a little sluggish, very small, overspoken, dead serious, and I hate making small talk passionately. It’s not quite a 180 degree switch… It’s more of a 173 degree spin. Anyhow, I’ll imagine that since you’re reading this blog, you’re seing the online side of me. Also, the online side of me rubs off sometmies in the real world. If I’m caught in a really awkward spot, I’ll “switch over” back to the more outgiong Scott ^_^ Is this a self-defense mechanism sort of like an airbag for my mind? Interesting. Also, this more outgiong self revealed itself around the track team (and it’s people, I’m noticing) and sometimes at school. I can vividly picture myself in my classes last year and the personalities I had in them. In my English class, I was the quiet Scott. In the Myth class, I talked a lot more and seemed a lot more outgoing. Why? I’m not sure. It’s very interesting. What site do you see? Probably the outgoing side since it’s over the computer… which leads me to ask. If this is the side that shows over the “normal scott” at least 10 to 1 in reference to time… how do I know it’s really not the real scott and the quiet one is the fake scott? Interesting…
Small things… Earlier I think I got a little carried away and made it sound like everything in my life is perfect. Mind you, there are always things in everyones’ lives that aren’t how they want them. Some peoples’ are more impacting and/or larger than others, and I always feel bad if I talk about a problem of mine or something like that because it’s so small in comparison to other peoples’. Something that is good to do (for me, at least) and I recommend that everyone do this is to “unplug” for a day every month or two. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the little world inside your computer, tv, telephone, and radio that you completely lose touch with the world. You’re probably thinking “No, I’m not that way” – and if you believe that, let me remind you that VERY few people realize the extent to which this is true while they’re “in” it. You should really try unplugging for a day. Just pick a day and unplug your monitors, tv, phone, and stuff like that. Do things apart from other people. It’s something so small, but it’s awesome. It really puts things back in perspective. You realize that things you obsess(ed?) over are unimportant, while things you may have blown off really do need your attention. Seriously, try it, you won’t be sorry. Also, I do this if something bad happens. A little while ago I wrote about the loss of one of my closest friends and I had the hardest time letting her go. I unplugged for three days, with the exception of powering up a laptop to blog (which is also theraputic for me, like the unplugging thing – putting yout thoughts in a tangable form). Once you untangle yourself from the largest of issues, and live an “empty” day, you start to really appreciate the little things in your life that you may not have even noticed before. The smell of green plants in the air, the way the sun shines in your window, the soft smile you may get from a stranger. Unplugging my power not only resets my computers, but it reboots my mind. You really should try it =o) See? I gave you some advice that you can use!
Ok Scott, the little things, what bothers you? I’m going to step out big time on this one. I will offer a pretext to this paragraph though. This pretext only applies to this paragraph. Consiter this paragraph a separate page alltogether. I’m writing this purely out of theory and I will purposely lie in multiple parts. Do not mistake this paragraph for truth! It’s just talking about some things that may, in theory, be true, intermingled with what is not. I’ll even throw in giant dialogues from movies just to spice it up. It’s not all real. In other words… you will not approach me and talk about these things, since they may never have happened. You will not comment on this paragraph, since technically you won’t know what I’m making up and what’s real (if any?) You will not come to me and try to talk about it. I can’t verywell enjoy talking about things that don’t exist now, can I? Ok, so, yeah, now that that’s out of the way. I can dump a whole lot of my garbage here and sift through it so it doesn’t have to come up again. Let’s hop right into Misia, shall we? Jeez, I hear so much about her still /sigh/. At this point, I don’t know what to think about her. However, I will hold the stance that I think she is one of the most… awesome things that ever happened to me. I remember having so much fun being around her. After her death… I thought about her 100 times a day. Then, one day, I thought about her only 99 times. Then one day, 98.. 97.. 96… then I started forgetting to count. Eventually, she was almost completely gone. Then when I would try to remember her, I couldn’t remember whether she had brown or black hair… what her middle name was… or if her eyes went up when she smiled softly… now, I don’t even know if I ever really did meet her at all. I guess it’s for the best, that I no longer long to talk to her, because an inseperable wall is placed between us… but those are some of the best memories of that period of my life, and I wish I had more writings (blogs!) about her that I could read and remind myself. After this long, I’ve forgotten so much about her, I don’t remember any details. All I carry of her is a feeling. I can feel it, and it reminds me of her, and it’s the feelnig that casts images on my mind… How she would look with wet hair, her smile on a cool but sunny day, the sound she made when she laughed… it’s not real anymore, it’s pretend, but it’s what I remember from the feeling of her I still carry ^_^. One of the things that she really helped me with though was being able to talk with other people. She came at the perfect time for me. I can remember feeling so detached from everything with no one to hold on to. I had myself… my work… my projects… no person. Sure, I had “IM friends”. I’d get 50 people IMing me a day… but when I 
gave up IM for over a month (a challenge, yet again) I got a total of two personal emails over the entire 40 days. I even put my email address on the away message. Those two emails were from the same person too. (Thank you Candy, I still remember =o) But it was a wake up call and made me realize that these stilly little online friends are practically worthless and they won’t even raise a finger to send an email to talk to you. (which explains why ever since then when online people ask “do you consiter my a friend?” I hesitate to answer). I had snipped out the “real world” friends and replaced them with these stupid little virtual friends, then when I realized how shallow they were, I had nothing. I did all right though as long as I had something to do (I attribute my computer knowledge growth spurt to this time of my life for that reason). However, I didn’t want to be around other people at all. When I was thrust in a position where I had to be around them… it’s when the feeling got the worst. “people people everywhere yet I am so alone”? Yes well, a little while after that Misia hopped on =oD She’s gone now, but she helped a lot. Howver, little remnants of that era still haven’t washed off. Look how often I go places with ‘friends’… I don’t exactly have hundreds of them. However I’m trying to do the best I can to be a little more sociable so I can at least speak with people without feeling so awkward that the words don’t come out. I would say that this is the one thing that I would most like to change about myself. What is it, 97% of teenagers, when asked, want to change something about the way they look so people see them better? I guess I’m part of the 3% that just wants someone to see them all ^_^ Which is interesting… Try taking the baggage of the childhood hermit (interesting term) through the teen years and then trying not to dump it all over the relationships of the people you do meet =o) And I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. How strange it is trying to find a girl to be with knowing that once you get to know her, you’ll change so much that you’ll be a different person around her, most likely one she won’t like, and the thing starts over. Ehh, I hold relationships like that too highly I guess =o, I think it’s an ideal that’s derived from the ways I have the most interaction with women’s personal lives: stories. What happens in stories? Well it always seems to be the opposite of the real world. In other words, I’m completely mixed up. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to try. And by the time I do work it all out, I’ll be about to die. Hey, that rhymed. So, yeah, there you go, now you know the little things about myself that I’d really like to be different. However, here again, if I weren’t this way, who would I be now? I mean, I’m quite happy with the way things have turned out. Sure, there’s room for improvement and I try to strive to achieve it, but I really do appreciate how nicely things are going ^_^ So, now you know more about me, or do you? What of that was real? What was fake? Is it all fake? Is it an excuse to add more words? Some of it checks out too.. does that mean it’s true? real? tainted truth? or just well crafted lies. Like I said earlier, you don’t know anything, so you can’t do anything about it =o) I won’t blog like this often, but it’s sure nice to every once and a while.
While writing this, I got some good IMs about it. Phillip informed me that I have a boring life and should make up things to talk about by saying every thing I did today, including going to the bathroom. Hope sent in a cute little snippit somewhere along the lines of “You can do it Scott, I beileve in you! [pause] I won’t read the whole thing, but I still believe in you!” Kyle wrote “you know with five thousand words to be posted, at least now everyone knows what goes on in scott’s little mind.” Meanwhile, malignantthoughts is behind me chanting scott scott scott scott scott scott …
closing notes: Don’t talk to me about spelling. I know there are spelling errors and typos and grammar mistakes all in there. I’m not going to bother at this point. I’m tired and a little warn out. It feels like I typed a book. Wait a minute, I did ^_^ Actually, I think that I’ve reached a little more than five thousand words, let me check… holy crap! I typed over 7200! Wow, that’s more than one of florida’s colleges’ gordon rule writing class requirement for the whole semester! Ok, well I will do one more wordcount after I finsh typing this paragraph so it gets all the words. I’d like to say thank you for reading, feel free to comment about anything (except for “that” paragraph) and I’d love to hear from you. Be sure to mention what you think of the length of my blog. Goodnight everyone! ^_-
7228 words!!! (new record) … /passes out/ … >thump<
This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 6th, 2004 at 6:59 pmand is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
22 Responses to “words? going for 5k and get 7200+? no way?!”
| ashley wrote the following at 11:22:04 AM on August 16th, 2004 |
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omg wut the heck iz all this trash??? |
| Supergirl wrote the following at 09:49:00 PM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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I did not say you looked hot in that picture, you look pretty nerdy…I was just saying that you do have a look..normally |
| scott wrote the following at 08:38:38 PM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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ggreeeahhhh! in that picutre I’m TRYING to look stupid. -_- I mean, my neck is bent over in the nerd position – that of a 120 year old lady! |
| Supergirl wrote the following at 08:16:17 PM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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scott you do too have a look… you have a hot look ^_~ |
| Phil wrote the following at 02:41:40 PM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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I’ve seen you. lol You actually look different in that picture. I dunno what it is…maybe the hat and the sun glasses? Looks pretty cool though…maybe you should make a true “professional” one of you in that outfit. haha Like at your main computer desk with important and rich looking clocks(maybe just a binary clock) and stuff. |
Then on your monitors be running .NET with some Video Editing software? lol just an idea. haha| scott wrote the following at 11:51:13 AM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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I don’t have a look. People just haven’t seen me =o) |
| Mitchell wrote the following at 11:22:02 AM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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There’s that picture on the about Scott page and maybe somewhere around here is the picture of him at his lan party from a long time ago. Did you change your look Scott? Is that why people want more pictures? |
| Nick wrote the following at 02:12:39 AM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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im down wit dat homes. fo’ real. post day shizzle yo. damn. ok, so the hood took holda me. holla yo. yeah, i want a re l pic too. |
| Kr4ck3rjaXx1 wrote the following at 12:15:27 AM on January 3rd, 2004 |
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Happy New Years To All U [censored] Punks And Scott Post A Pic Of U Not Ur Back.Peace Knukkaz |
| Supergirl wrote the following at 04:25:47 PM on January 2nd, 2004 |
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Happy New Year People!! |
| Supergirl wrote the following at 04:24:36 PM on January 2nd, 2004 |
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Scotty since we can’t see your face in that picture, I do not think it will satisfy whoever has been asking for a picture of you. yes the fishy is very cool. |
| Nick wrote the following at 10:37:49 PM on January 1st, 2004 |
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i thought the fish was cool. don’t knock the fish |
| scott wrote the following at 10:22:48 PM on January 1st, 2004 |
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note: the picture was purely for comic value. none of it is to be taken seriously. notice the playschool plastic desk I’m on, the selection of DVD I’m watching, the box of crayons on the left, the silly goldfish in the background, the paper that says “1337 BARNEY” on the wall behind me. The “baka” shirt in leet speak. It’s a scary resemblance to the person I am not. However, it should appease the desires of those sad creatures who’re asking for my picture(s) over and over. You’re welcome =o) |
| scott wrote the following at 10:13:53 PM on January 1st, 2004 |
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run it in the aimpoo folder ddduuuuuhhhHHHHHhhhhhh |
| Nick wrote the following at 08:59:46 PM on January 1st, 2004 |
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oh and btw, ur keygen is making errors!! runtime debug or some nonsense like that |
| Nick wrote the following at 08:55:29 PM on January 1st, 2004 |
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polar bears?? Baka shirt? and what is that page ur looking at? those have to do with LCD’s i can tell. well, i wasn’t exactly sure what u looked like, but should i see the back of you, i’ll know who you are…why don’t you just post a picture of your face or something? Lain wallscroll is nice as usual. Have you seen the series Full Metal Panic? I’m waching it right now and its good. i’m really enjoying it. if you haven’t seen it, get it from suprnova. there’s a torrent with all 24 episodes. yeah, and an update about the girls? how was it? and don’t feel strange, being away from your usual routine might get you like that. thats how i always feel after 5-6 hours of watching a TV show. I always want to be living in their world, because the recluse guy who’s really not that popular always getts the beautiful girl and does all the cool stuff… |
| levitra wrote the following at 11:46:19 PM on November 8th, 2004 |
| play poker online wrote the following at 01:11:57 AM on August 3rd, 2004 |
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seven card stud x play poker online x free texas holdem x free texas hold em x play texas hold em x play texas holdem x online texas holdem x texas holdem online x 7 card stud poker x free texas holdem poker x free texas hold em poker x poker online x seven card stud x 7 card stud poker x play poker online x texas hold em x texas holdem x texas hold em poker x poker texas hold em x texas holdem poker x texas holdem x texas hold em x texas holdem x texas hold em x texas hold em poker |
| phentermine wrote the following at 06:16:43 PM on March 3rd, 2004 |
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If you can’t afford phentermine |
| nick wrote the following at 06:18:01 PM on January 9th, 2004 |
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no, its just that my besy friend happens to be gay and i kinda take offense when people lump all gay’s into one category. |
| Stephen and Aaron wrote the following at 01:47:09 AM on January 9th, 2004 |
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howdy scotty…I (stephen..from track..haha..actually i was at your house today) .. anyway.. I have become and avid reader of your website..and aaron’s over, and i think he’s become a diligent paduion learner as well, ha. it’s very interesting..i’ll be getting ready for bed and then think while im brushing my teeth, flossing, and washing my mouth out with fluoride, that “hey! i can go see what scott posted tonight! yay!” but seroiusly, this is cool website man..i looooooooove the tutorials on Windows XP and AIM. And just the incessant blabbing on everything. If I wasn’t so lazy, i’d probably love to start a website where i could just blab and blab and blab… hey..aaron just came up with an idea..can we become apprentice writers under your supervision? we could spell check your blogs, haha..ooooooh man, its late..anyway.. hey, how would that work? i have no clue, i’m not exactly the biggest computer person..right now my dumb internet is the most retarded thing ever..but i won’t plague your life with one more “problem” for you to fix, ha. oh man..dinner was so good tonight. my mom made homemade pizza and bread and salad.. and Rose’s friend from college came over, and we were kinda loud and obnoxious to try and scare her away. And then we went to eckerds and picked up some drugs and then we moved tile, and then we came home and we went out to this huge sand field by our house (its a sand field because they are building a subdivision where there used to be woods by our house.. im mad that the woods are gone, but the sand is pretty cool..there are huge trenches and dunes and mountains). And then we came home and washed off our dirty feet and watched the “Extreme Elimination Challenge” on Spike TV..oooooh that show is soooo great..i think you’ve seen it to, the one with all the japanese people going thru this obstacle course, oh man its great..love it..my brother especially loved it, he was rolling. isnt it weird how i always put a … between my thoughts whenever i type, i think its become a habbit..ya know? .. yeah…. ok.. anyway.. oooooooh..and btw.. i watch almost no tv besides football. i’ve gotten so sick of it..seriously, even sportscenter on ESPN and 24 on Fox. So..hmm, maybe someday when i’m 87 years old i’ll stop watching football. well..wait nevermind, no i won’t i don’t believe that will ever happen..ever..football is wonderful..you should really look into it Scott. Aaron just commented, “Football is life, and life is football.” “Football is the essence of life, life is the essence of football.” Did i carry that a little too far..maybe. hmmm, anyway..oh yes, i like your comments on stayin wi’d da fam, i was like, ooooh yeah, i love just staying at home..when i get older or whatever..aka 18 or get married and get a house and live somewhere..it’s gonna be RIGHT here in central florida..within about an hour of my house. I don’t wanna go no where cause i love florida. it is rated AG: All Good.. don’t you agree?? oh guess what i just ate.. Some jelly-filled donuts..dang they were good, they were the little bite-sized jelly filled ones.. i think the jelly was the Strawberry flavor..or maybe it was just a bunch of “fruity” tasting crap that some druggy thru into some year old dough and sold it at publix..err probably Winn Dixie..that store is awful..i hate winn dixie, its so retarding dumb, all the food there is old and gross and sits on the shelves collecting dust for years. hmm, i stated my argument twice there, all the food is OLD (and gross) and sits on the shelves collecting dust FOR YEARS. see the comparison? speaking of old food.. right next to me is a pantry full of a bunch of food that we will probably never eat. we will probably give it to some food drive.. man, wouldn’t you feel jipped if you were a homeless person and you received a bunch of 3 year old can of enchilada sauce..mm.. i can just see his face, “hey honey, i just got some brand new Enchilada Sauce!! woopdeedoo!.. oh man, and look at these nutrition facts, “only 1 gram of fat, 220mg of sodium, WOW!! only 3 grams of total carbohydrate..uh oh… 0% protein. anyway..it is..uhhhhh 1:25 AM..and we have a stupid Law Class at Circle tommorow.. btw..don’t you just hate most Circle parents, they are so dumb. aaaaah, they drive me crazy sometimes..i won’t go into detail..i’m sure you’ve had your run-ins with some whacked out parents..don’t worry..your parents are all good. oh man.. when i was at your house today, kelly had this perfume on her dresser, and i have to admit i snuck over there and tried some..i was like, “dang! this stuff smells good!!” i don’t see why guys have to wear guys cologne…If girls like to wear Girl perfume, then why can’t guy wear stuff that attracts girls? ya get my drift? probably not, because i dont think i get my own drift. did that sound a little faggish? sorry if it did..i’m not a stupid homo. btw, am i aloud to discriminate against homo’s on your website? well i guess its a little too late to determine that since people have already been reading this although its directed towards the auther..mr scotty, haha, remember when coach would always be like..(in a scottish voice) say your name: Sco – ee. oooh man that was good that was good. “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!” ok just had to add that line in their somewhere..this is a commment on random things.. aint it? hmm, you put, “Comment on this Blog. Comments make me smile.” actually this comment is probably compelling you to jump out of your seat and throw yourself into a lake. oh man…aaron just brought to my attention..”what if my computer all of a sudden shut off and i lost this entire comment, and then you’d never read this and neither would anyone else, and no one except for me and aaron would ever know it existed, and we’d probably forget after awhile. So eventually it would be lost forever, and i wouldnt have the eye-lid power to stay up for another hour and write another.. seriosly, if my computer shut off, it would change my life completely. i mean, all this blabbing i’ve just blabbed about would become completely irrelevant to me and anyone else. hmmmm, uh well, so far it aint shut off.. POW!! scared ya aye? you thought it shut off..didn’t you????? |